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2020.06.15 07:25 little-blue-alien AITA for disregarding someone's mixed race in an argument?
2020.06.12 21:52 kanyesbathroommirror Happy Loving Day!
2020.05.03 19:23 Twisted-Razor My Review of "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner"
2019.12.11 18:13 rightwingnews /u/oispa on Any good refutations to the argument that “the Nazis were inspired by America with their eugenics and racial laws”?
2019.12.06 17:12 -en- @nytimes: A new task force assembled by Virginia Gov. Ralph Northam is aiming to purge almost 100 racist laws from the state's books. Many date to its segregationist past, including Jim Crow laws and those banning interracial marriage. https://t.co/0yPVY4URNz
2019.03.16 00:06 throwaway12348262 I’m in an interracial relationship and I’m looking for information on the history of interracial relationships
2019.03.15 05:08 666_NumberOfTheBeast The Violent Left: A Summary.
2019.01.18 00:38 Obversa "Enemies in Love": The Real-Life Basis for Reylo
A love story between a black Army nurse and a white German POW during World War II? You couldn't make that story up — and Alexis Clark didn't. The former editor at Town & Country is an adjunct professor at Columbia University's School of Journalism. I spoke with her about her new book, Enemies in Love, and what she learned about hidden Army history and the human heart.Additionally, Clark goes on to recount the background, context, and tale of Elinor Elizabeth Powell, an African-American nurse in the U.S. Army assigned to Fort Huachuca, and her future husband, Frederick Albert, a German POW and mess hall worker on base.
"They met at a prisoner of war camp in Florence, Arizona. The closest city was Phoenix, which is about an hour and a half away. Frederick was a great cook and a baker, and so his assignment was to work in the mess hall. So when the nurses entered for their meal, he spotted Elinor, and he said it was like he was under a spell. He walked right up to her, and said, 'You should know my name. I'm the man who's going to marry you.'However, Elinor's mother highly disapproved of the two's romance and engagement, accusing Frederick of "using" Elinor. However, after the two conceived a son, and Frederick was returned to Germany, Frederick eventually returned to the U.S. to be with Elinor after WWII.
And he wasn't the only one — she felt it, too. The attraction became stronger and stronger. Eventually they had a relationship." - Alexis Clark
"When Frederick moved to the United States to marry Elinor, and then start a family together, they struggled. They moved to Boston. They tried to find apartments, find work. As a mixed couple, no one wanted to live next to them; it was hard to get a lease. It was hard for him to find employment because he was German. (Remember, this was right after the war.) And Elinor knew that he was from a wealthy family, and she feared that he would regret his decision.However, Elinor was hardly the only Allied woman to have a "star-crossed romance" with a German POW. Across the pond, two British women, June Tull and Margaret Stratton, recounted their own tales of marrying "the enemy", and how society and their families judged them harshly for it.
Frederick's father had done well after the war, and Frederick was positioned to take over his father's engineering firm. And that's what they did. [For a time, they moved to Germany.] But it was not easy on Elinor. People were pointing, taunting her when she was walking down the street...she said she felt like an animal in a zoo.
The family moved a lot, trying to find a place that would accept them. Finally they find a community called Village Creek, in South Norwalk, Conn. Frederick got a job at Pepperidge Farms, the baking company. And it literally was a neighborhood that said it's a prejudice-free zone. So mixed couples, Jewish couples, artists, gays, you name it — they were welcome there.
And that's where they settled. The only thing that was difficult is that Elinor and Frederick really didn't bring up race with their children. So the boys had identity problems. Their older child had to undergo a lot of hardship because of their decision to be together, despite the fact that society was against them.
[...] and then you have this 'Love Conquers All' story between Elinor and Frederick — twenty years before Loving v. Virginia was decided by the Supreme Court." - Alexis Clark
They were spat at, punched and shunned by their families. Their crime? Falling in love with German prisoners of war. As they celebrate their diamond weddings, two British war brides tell their haunting stories.Why is the above important, and relevant, to the Reylo romance and relationship?
With each step they took, hand in hand along the bomb-ravaged streets of Southampton, the sight of June Tull and her boyfriend incited insults and fury.
"Aren't our boys good enough for you?" yelled one woman. Another ran up to June and punched her. Others spat in her face.
How could she, they asked, fraternise with the enemy when their own fathers, husbands and sons had been killed by the Germans?
[...] Some British women who married German POWs fared better than others, who were disowned by their families.
[...] It was in late 1939 that the first prisoners of war arrived in Britain, and were held in two camps. Their numbers remained small, as the Government was reluctant to accept PoWs while the threat of Nazi invasion was imminent - but by the end of the war, there were more than 600 camps.
Each camp was given a number, and was either a disused building, such as a factory, or was made up of specially constructed corrugated iron buildings, known as Nissen huts. More than 400,000 German PoWs were still being held in Britain in 1946, the year after World War II ended, with Attlee's government refusing to repatriate the Germans until well after the war was over.
During 1946, up to one-fifth of all farm work in Britain was being done by unpaid German PoWs, and they were also employed on road works and building sites. [The ban on fraternisation was in place until just before Christmas 1946.]
18-year-old June Tull's boyfriend was German prisoner of war Heinz Fellbrich, 25, a fact which was advertised wherever they went by the PoW's brown uniform with orange felt patches he had to wear at all times.
"There was a lot of hostility towards us," recalls June, now 79. "I could understand it, because people had lost loved ones in the war, but all that mattered to me was that I loved [him]. However, it wasn't easy. We tried to go to quiet places when we were together, so people wouldn't see us. My father Frank was all right about it, but my mother was against the relationship. She worried about what people would think."
Especially when, four months into the courtship - which began at the end of January 1947 - June, who was by this time sleeping with the enemy having written a "Dear John" letter dumping her Royal Marine boyfriend, became pregnant.
"I was scared stiff," says June. "Falling pregnant outside marriage was bad enough - but with a German PoW!"
[...] [Three months pregnant at her wedding], June was the first British woman to marry a German PoW following Clement Attlee's postwar government's decision to lift the ban on fraternisation and marriage - an event so controversial it made newspaper headlines.
[...] When [June and Heinz] emerged [from their wedding reception], they were greeted by the pop of flashbulbs from newspaper photographers.
At 10pm sharp, Heinz was back behind the barbed wire at the PoW camp - having been given permission to marry by the camp commandant - and June begged him not to slip out to meet her later, which would be punished by solitary confinement.
Their "wedding night" took place the following day at June's home, when Heinz was allowed to visit his new wife. [Six months later, Heinz] was released from the PoW camp, one week before their eldest son, Peter, was born.
[Today], [June and Heinz] have six children - four boys, and two girls - 12 grandchildren, and 15 great-grandchildren. They say they are as in love today as the first moment they caught sight of each other back in 1947.
Theirs is a remarkable love story, especially when set against the intense hostility and bitterness towards the British women who fell in love with German PoWs ("the enemy").
"After our wedding, we received two sackloads of hate mail. I didn't read it all, because I knew what people would say. But there was one lovely letter, which said, 'You can't choose who you fall in love with. Just be happy'." says June.
"I refused to let it bother me, and I'm glad of that. We have been incredibly happy. I don't regret falling in love with [him], although for a long time, we felt very isolated."
Heinz adds: "The British people were much harder on June than they were on me, but once they got to know me, the fact I was German became irrelevant. Of course, I was sorry for the suffering of the people who'd lost loved ones or their homes, but the German people had suffered, too. It is the nature of war."
"Since falling in love with June, I have never once felt homesick for Germany," Heinz adds. "This is my home. I like the people, the country and being here. We have been very lucky."
Margaret Stratton, now aged 93, shocked her community when she married German PoW Peter Roth, five years her junior, on May 22, 1948 in Peterborough.
Hundreds of people lined the streets - more out of curiosity and disbelief than anything else.
"They couldn't believe she had married a German," recalls Peter, now aged 88. "But I struck lucky when I fell in love with Margaret. People accepted me, not because I was German, but because I was Margaret Stratton's husband."
Margaret adds: "No one ever said anything to me, but I'm sure people talked about me behind my back. After the wedding, I went to the local paper, and paid them to print our marriage picture, as I wanted everyone to know I didn't care what they thought."
[...] Margaret recalls: "When I first saw Peter, I said to my girlfriend: 'I know he's German, but he has the most lovely face.' There was just something about him."
Peter was equally struck, and that evening, he stripped his camp hut's garden of every flower - six snowdrops - and presented them to Margaret the next day.
In return, she gave him a cigarette and a piece of cake, and so began a highly dangerous romance.
"The war was not yet over, and fraternising between local women and German PoWs was forbidden. Heaven knows what would have happened to us if we'd been found out," says Peter.
"In many ways, Margaret saved my life. I remember her saying: 'I don't want to know anything about your past or what you've done. All I know is that I love you, and that you are mine now. That's all that matters.'"
[...] Margaret says: "The police used to ask Peter to translate letters for them, and years after we married, the police sergeant told us he knew all about Peter visiting our house. He should have arrested us. The sergeant told Peter: 'I could not harm Margaret. Her only sin was falling in love.' We were lucky."
There's a reason fairy tales always end in marriage. It's because nobody wants to see what comes after. It's too grim. Meeting the right person, working through cosmic misunderstandings and overcoming family disapproval to get to the altar - those are stories worth telling.Other features that TIME notes as features of "the modern marriage":
[...] But staying married, and doing so happily, is more difficult. In 2014, having spent a year looking at all the sociological, psychological, economic and historical data he could get his hands on, Northwestern University psychology professor Eli Finkel announced [his findings].
"Americans today have elevated their expectations of marriage, and can, in fact, achieve an unprecedently high level of marital quality," he writes, but only if they invest a lot of effort [into the marriage]. And, if they can't, their marriage will be more disappointing to them than a humdrum marriage was to prior generations, because they've been promised so much more [of marriage in the modern era].
Matrimony used to be an institution people entered out of custom, duty, or a need to procreate. (This is also shown by the discussed POW-civilian couples getting pregnant, sometimes purposefully, to ensure that they would be able to remain together.) [Now], more of us think this one relationship should - and could - provide the full buffet of satisfaction: intimacy, support, stability, happiness, and sexual exhilaration.
[...] Marriage is the most basic and intimate of our social institutions, but also one of the most subject to shifts in cultural, technological, and economic forces...
[...]"Couples who have made it all the way later into life have found it to be peak experience, a sublime experience, to be together," says Karl Pilemmer, a Cornell University gerontologist who did an intensive survey of 700 elderly people for his book, 30 Lessons for Loving. "Everybody [in the survey] - 100% - said, at one point, that the long marriage was the best thing in their lives. But all of them also either said that marriage is hard, or that it's really, really hard."
Marriage has become what game theorists call "a commitment device", an undertaking that locks individuals into a course of action...and in [today's era], when it's both harder and less necessary to stay together, the trick is figuring out how to go the distance.
What does the "modern marriage" promise that historical unions didn't? The ultimate dream: a partner who sees what you really are, and not only accepts it, but improves it.
"The promise you make is not just to be faithful and true, and to stay married, but to try and bring out the best in each other," says Lisa Grunwald, who, with her husband, Stephen Adler, put together a historical compendium of marriage, The Marriage Book, in 2015. "To try and understand, really deeply understand, what the other one wants, and hold her feet or his feet to the fire, and say, 'OK, this is great, but remember, this is what you wanted, and don't let go of that dream.'"
And just as the benefits have changed, so have the challenges..."Today, choosing to stay, when you can leave, is the new shame," says relationship therapist Esther Perel.
“[Rey] really sees the, like, glimmer in Kylo. That there’s some good there, and she goes with it. And I thinks that’s pretty wonderful…I think he is redeemable.” - Daisy Ridley (Source)There is also the element of marriage not only being a "commitment tool", but a "learning tool".
And how do you make a soulmate? Practice, practice, practice.Given the above, and the portrayals of Rey and Kylo / Ben's respective characters in both TFA and TLJ, as well as expanded media, such as comic books and Jason Fry's TLJ novel, a lot of it already reflects the relationship between the two. For one, we have Rey already acting as if she and Kylo / Ben separating "is not an option" ("She would wait [for Ben / Kylo." - TLJ novel), including treating their relationship as both a "commitment and learning experience" (Rey committing to 'saving' Ben / Kylo in TLJ, and learning how to do so, as per the TLJ novel).
Pillemer observed that long-married couples he had interviewed acted as if divorce were not an option. "People really had the mindset they wanted to stay married," he says. They regarded their relationship as less like buying a new car, and more like learning how to drive. "Marriage is like a discipline," he says. "A discipline is not [simply] reaching one, happy end point."
[...] One of the more controversial ideas therapists are now suggesting is that men need to do more of the "emotional labor" in a relationship - the work that goes into sustaining love - which usually [traditionally] falls to women. "What men do in a relationship is, by a large margin, the crucial factor that separates a great relationship from a failed one," writes Gottman in his book, The Man's Guide to Women. "This doesn't mean that a woman doesn't need to do her part, but the data proves that a man's actions are the key variable that determines whether a relationship succeeds or fails."
The one piece of advice every expert and nonexpert gives for staying married is, perhaps, the least useful one for those who are already several years in: choose well. [...] Therapists suggest you ask [your] friends about your prospective life mate. Aim to find someone you know you'll love, even during the periods when you don't like him or her so much.
And then, cross your fingers. As Grunwald puts it, "Just pick out a good one, and get lucky."
Like superheroes, every happily married duo has an origin story, and most of these how-we-met tales contain important nuggets of truth about the mysterious forces that draw two strangers, magnet-like, toward each other. [...] And about that origin story. How you tell it may be a powerful tool to the health of your relationship.And, last but not least, from the TIME issue's article "The (Real) Key to a Joyful Union" by Camille Noe Pagan:
In a landmark 1992 study, University of Washington researchers found that they could predict with a 94% accuracy which couples would divorce or stay together by hearing them relate the story about how they met. It didn't matter if the story was mundane or movie-worthy. What mattered was this: that the twosome shared a sense of fondness and solidarity.
[...] Let's say you glimpse someone across a crowded room. It takes your bain about 100 milliseconds, according to a Princeton University study, to form judgements about a host of traits [in a potential mate]: attractiveness, likeability, trust-worthiness, competence, and aggressiveness.
"That first moment [you meet] is a key decision point: Will you engage with that person, or look for someone else?" says Helen Fisher, a senior research fellow at the Kinsey Institute, and author of The Anatomy of Love: A Natural History of Mating, Marriage, and Why We Stray.
[...] We tend to gravitate to people who look robust, with clear skin and bright eyes (clues to potential fertility). Most of us are interested in people who come from backgrounds similar to our own, and who have the same ballpark level of attractiveness and education. [...] At a psychology convention, eHarmony presented findings that - contrary to academic beliefs - similar levels of traits like extroversion / introversion and intellect, not just general agreeableness, are the key to a successful relationship and marriage.
[...] But those instantaneous, unconscious assessments of potential partners aren't wholly governed by Mother Nature. They're also influenced by your unique history - what Fisher calls your "love map"; an image of your ideal sweetheart you've been subconciously sketching and revising, based on relationships with your parents, friends, crushes, and exes, since you were a child...by the time we're in our 20s and 30s, our ideas of what makes someone [attractive] has become more complex and personal.
[...] If she or he is a reasonable likeness of the fantasy sweetheart in your mind's eye, a primitive area buried deep in your brain - the ventral tegmental area (TVA) - has probably already begun churning out dopamine, a neurochemical that boosts focus, energy, and motivation. [...] "All mammals get a hit of dopamine when they have sex. That big hit of pleasure is what makes sex rewarding, so you want to do it again, and again, and again," says Larry Young, a professor in the department of psychiatry at Emory University, and the author of The Chemistry Between Us: Love, Sex, and the Science of Attraction.
Three brain systems play a role in the arc of a love story: Your sex drive spurs you to look for a range of partners; dopamine-fuelled romantic love focuses your mating energy on one person; and the oxytocin-driven attachment system encourages you stay with one partner. [...] Oxytocin, a neurochemical that creates a heightened bond with another individual in particular, and makes you pay attention to every detail of your partner, also flows when [two people] stay in touch - literally - i.e. walking arm in arm, kissing, holding / touching hands, etc.
[...] Women vary, for instance, in their level of attraction to certain personality traits theys see reflected in faces. Those who value honesty, warmth, cooperation, and parenting skill seem to favor men with more "feminized" faces (fuller cheeks, narrower jaws). [...] Men are more likely to go for women with traditionally feminine featues...an Australian 2015 study reported both men and women preferred non-confomists...those who broke the [societal] norm.
"Being different can be extremely attractive," says Jim Pfaus, a professor of neuroscience and biology at Concordia University in Montreal. "and it makes sense from an evolutionary perspective, because it helps preserve diversity in the species."
Your spouse forgot his credit card at the restaurant again. Sure, you could roll your eyes or snap, "When are you going to get more organized?" But if you instead say, "I'm sorry, can I help?" you will improve his day and your own in the process.As many are aware, in the TFA novel, Snoke claims that Kylo / Ben has "compassion" for Rey:
[...] Think of compassion - the feeling of concern and/or sympathy for another's misfortune, along with desire to lend a hand..."It's the key to happiness and well-being," says Thupten Jinpa, a former Buddhist monk who helped develop a landmark course in compassion training at Stanford School of Medicine. Indeed, a growing body of research shows that compassion reduces anxiety, depression and stress, and may boost immunity, along with longevity.
But that's not all: a study of 1,500 married Americans in the journal Family Relations found that when spouses were humble and compassionate toward one another, they were less stressed and more satisfied in their relationship. "Humility and compassion does make marriages happier," says study author Jonathan Olson, an associate professor of public health and health psychology at Bastyr University. "Being able to see the other person's perspective, and want to help, makes it easier to move past conflict."
[...] Simply witnessing an act of compassion triggers feelings of admiration, warmth, and love, per a study in the Journal of Positive Psychology. [...] "When you show your partner compassion, [and the focus is off of yourself], they're more likely to do the same for you. In a way, you're really helping yourself, as well as your spouse, which improves your overall relationship," points out KC Haydon, an assistant professor of psychology and education at Mount Holyoke College.
[...] "Compassion requires you to give people the benefit of the doubt," notes Jinpa. After all, you deserve to get as much tenderness as you give.
"This scavenger - this girl - resisted you?"In Attack of the Clones, Kylo / Ben's grandfather, Anakin Skywalker, also says the following to Padmé Amidala, his future wife:
"That's all she is, yes. A scavenger from that inconsequential Jakku. Completely untrained, but strong with the Force. Stronger than she knows."
"You have compassion for her."
"No-never. Compassion? For an enemy of the Order?"
"Kylo Ren. It appears that a reminder is in order. So I will show you the dark side. Bring the girl to me..."
"Attachment is forbidden. Possession is forbidden. Compassion, which I would define as...unconditional love...is essential to a Jedi's life. So, you might say that we [Jedi] are encouraged to love."Ultimately, it is compassion that is the key to "humanity", or humanizing, as described by Adam Driver in reference to Kylo / Ben in TLJ...and it is this sense of "humanity" that also defined the aforementioned POW / Civilian romances, and marriages.
"I think, maybe, this is such a general answer, but, you know...humanity. [...] There were a lot of plot points that we know were operating in [TFA], and we get to explain more in the second one, that makes both [of the movies] make sense. But they do kind of feel socially active to me..." (Source)
2018.01.31 11:00 autobuzzfeedbot 27 Books You'll Want To Read Next To The Fire This Winter
2018.01.20 06:15 fgwriting From the Archives: On the Origin of WMAF
Enforcement of the Page Act resulted not only in the reduction of prostitutes but also the “virtually complete exclusion of Chinese women from the United States”. In 1882 alone, during the few months before the enactment of the Chinese Exclusion Act of 1882 and the beginning of its enforcement, 39,579 Chinese entered the U.S., and only 136 of them were women. Therefore, Chinese were unable to create families within the U.S. The Page Act was so successful in preventing Chinese women from immigration and consequently keeping the ratio of females to males low that the law "paradoxically encouraged the very vice it purported to be fighting: prostitution." Not until after World War II was an appropriate gender balance established, because between 1946 and 1952 almost 90 percent of all Chinese immigrants were women.Source: http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Page_Act_of_1875
Anti-miscegenation laws or miscegenation laws were laws that enforced racial segregation at the level of marriage and intimate relationships by criminalizing interracial marriage and sometimes also sex between members of different races. Such laws were first introduced in North America from the late seventeenth century onwards by several of the Thirteen Colonies, and subsequently by many US states and US territories and remained in force in many US states until 1967.Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anti-miscegenation_laws
Genocide is the systematic elimination of all or a significant part of a racial, ethnic, religious, or national group.Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genocide
During and immediately after World War II, more than 60,000 U.S, servicemen that married women overseas were promised that their wives and babies would receive free passage to the U.S. The US Army's "Operation War Bride", which eventually transported more than 70,000 women and children, began in Britain in early 1946. The first batch of war brides (455 British women and their 132 children) arrived in the US on 4 February 1946. By one estimate, 300,000 foreign war brides came to the United States following the passage of the War Brides Act of 1945, of which 51,747 were Filipino.Source: http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/War_bride#Korean_War
About 650 Japanese war brides migrated to Australia after the ban on Japanese migration, imposed at the outbreak of the Pacific War, was lifted in 1952 when the San Francisco Peace Treaty came into force. They had married Australian soldiers involved in the Occupation of Japan.
Approximately 43,500 war brides went to Canada accompanied by some 21,000 children. The overwhelming majority of these brides (some 93%) were of British origins, because Canadian soldiers were mostly stationed in Britain, and had been there since 1939. Indeed, the first marriage between a Canadian serviceman and a British bride was registered at Farnborough Church in the Aldershot area just 43 days after the first Canadian soldiers arrived in December 1939.
When the Korean War ended in 1953, small numbers of students and professionals entered the United States. A larger group of immigrants included Western princesses married with U.S. servicemen. As many as one in four Korean immigrants in the United States can trace their immigration to the wife of a serviceman.Meanwhile, we STILL face the same sort of media representation and emasculating stereotypes that came into being during the anti-miscegenation era to discourage intermarriage with Asian men. WMAF, on the other hand, has become totally normalized in media and Hollywood. I sometimes hear that we shouldn't be upset about the latter, because the pairing is merely a reflection of reality. Sure, I don't argue that it's reflective, but I'M STILL FUCKING UPSET BECAUSE THAT REALITY IS RACIST AS SHIT. The Civil Rights Movement is not ancient history, many of our parents were ALIVE for Loving v. Virginia. The fallout from racist media campaigns and legal pogroms to cleanse Asian men is still reflected in the structure of a 21st century society that still mirrors the openly racist society of the late 19th/early 20th century - Asian men at the bottom (now entry level management), Asian women with White men, quotas to suppress our numbers in school based on fears of an Asian horde invading classrooms, and emasculating stereotypes being propagated and reinforced through all media channels for new generations of Americans.
2017.12.18 05:10 callmebaiken How A CIA-DOJ-FBI Team Forged The Trump-Russia Dossier
2017.12.06 12:53 interracialseekers Interracial dating in 2017
2017.09.27 05:17 MayanJade The WMAF:AMWF Ratio Disparity and Reasons Why
2017.08.23 04:47 Nitra0007 (NOT) CHECKMATE R/ALT_HAPA
2017.06.28 20:17 ChinnyNotSkinny Thoughts on blasians in the US and elsewhere
Well, part of my understanding of race is that it’s more of a social construct than a biological reality. And in that sense, if you are perceived as African American, then you’re African American.When he says race is a social construct, what he means is that it's a classification which is often subject to time and place. I already showed that race is thought of differently in South Africa than in the United States as an example.
While mixed-race young people are over represented in the care, youth justice and child protection systems, the authors said they were "invisible" in public service practice and policy.
Co-author Dinah Morley was concerned at the lack of understanding over what it meant to be mixed race, a group most likely to suffer racism. "I was surprised at how much racism, from black and white people, had come their way," she said. "A lot of children were seen as black when they might be being raised by a white single parent and had no understanding of the black culture. The default position for a child of mixed race is that they are black."
The report found that those with mixed-race backgrounds were more at risk of mental health issues because of their struggle to develop an identity. Morley said the strongest common experience was the "too white to be black, too black to be white".
2017.06.13 23:20 IceBergSurfboard Question about Prom King and Prom Queen. Need advice please?
2017.05.20 05:30 nowitsataw Please read the rules and welcome to ALL interracial couples!