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I am 35 years old, make $320,000 ($410k joint), live in the DC Metro Area, and work as a physician

2020.10.29 12:43 ShrinkyDink2016 I am 35 years old, make $320,000 ($410k joint), live in the DC Metro Area, and work as a physician

I have been a lurker on this subreddit for the whole of the pandemic, and this is my first Money Diary! Thank you to all who participate in this sub, I have learned so much from you all and you have helped me feel less lonely during this unprecedented time :) (FYI pronouns she/her)
Section One: Assets and Debt
Retirement Balance (and how you got there):
Mine: $61k in 401k, $6k in Roth IRA (had to do backdoor due to income limit)
My husband's: $100k in 401k
(Of note, we both have employers that participate in a pension plan. My husband is already vested and will obtain a certain percentage of his current income, as income upon retirement. I have a few more years to be vested and then I will also obtain a certain percentage of my income at retirement (the longer we stay at our employers, the higher the percentage of income. My contribution to the pension plan is automatically taken out (pre-tax) from my paycheck. I do not get a 401k match.)
Equity if you're a homeowner (and how much you put down and how you accumulated that payment):
We qualified for a no down payment mortgage, so we did not put any money down for our condo- we bought it at $290,000 and currently our neighbors have sold their similar unit for $350,000. We owe $260,000 so that means we have around $90k equity
Savings account balance:
$25k (we are comfortable keeping it this "low" as our emergency fund as our jobs are very secure)
Checking account balance:
$3k (fluctuates as we get paid and expenses come out, if there is any extra here due to a low expense month I move this over to savings or investments)
Credit card debt (and how you accumulated it):
None. We put some things on credit (like vacations) for points but then pay off immediately or within 1-2 months. Due to COVID, we haven’t been travelling at all this year (good for our finances but bad for our mental health!)
Student loan debt (for what degree):
Me: $340k due to medical school ($280k in loans, now with $60k in accumulated interest). I am 6 years into an IBPSLF plan and these loans will be forgiven in 2024.
Husband: $100k for graduate school (also on IBPSLF with forgiveness date in 2024) and $19k in private student loan which we are motivated to pay off by the end of 2020.
Investment accounts: We have $30k in an investment account (ETFs) and also contribute $1k monthly to this account. When we accumulate more cash along the way we will make lump additions to this account as well.
NET WORTH:
WITHOUT FEDERAL STUDENT LOANS: $296k (yay finally positive!!!)
WITH FEDERAL STUDENT LOANS:-$144k (not as bad as the -$700k+ we started out when we bought our condo and before we started investing!)
Section Two: Income
Me ($320K), Husband ($90k)
Income Progression:
Middle/High School: I babysat for a neighbor weekly and earned $40 at a time for this, I kept it up for many (many!) years and when I was older and driving, this was my gas money and cell phone (nokia brick!) payment :)
College: I did not work during my first several years at college, but during summers I returned home and nannied some more. I was able to save a few thousand $ this way which gave me spending money during the school year
Gap year: I worked as a phlebotomist making around $26k for the year between graduating undergrad and starting med school- much of this money went into travel to visit husband (at that time he was boyfriend) as we were in a LDR for the duration of this year
Medical School: I didn't work, I was too busy attending lectures for 8+ hours a day then coming home and studying for another 6 hours! (and studying 8-10 hours a day on weekends!)
Residency/Fellowship: Started around $55k, this progressed per year by small increases, to about $68k for my last year of fellowship training. I did not put any money into retirement accounts during this time as we were living in a HCOL area and the budget was pretty tight for our rent and student loan expenses. I do regret this as money put away in your 20's has so much time to last in the market and make tons of gains!
Attending Lyfe: Started around $240k but benefitted greatly from some restructuring of the physician compensation at my employer, so increased quickly in the past year, this year's compensation is $320k
Main Job Monthly Take Home:
(This number is what's left AFTER ALL deductions including taxes, health insurance, retirement contributions (max 401k and Roth IRA yearly), etc):
For a two paycheck month (which I count as monthly), the total take home is $18,500 ($14.5k me, $4k husband). When we have a three paycheck month we treat the extra paycheck as a mini bonus (usually goes into travel, but this year into paying off some debt- we paid off a big tax bill, then we paid off my car (bought in 2019) and soon will pay off the private student loan.)
Side Gig/Other Income Monthly Take Home
None!
Section Three: Expenses (My husband and I have completely joint accounts, so these expenses are taken out of our joint account)
Rent / Mortgage / HOA fees : $2005 for mortgage, property taxes, condo fee and HOA
Housekeeping $110 every 2 weeks
Insurance: $872 for condo insurance, car insurance (2 vehicles), disability income insurance (so if I cannot work in my field, I can receive disability income to keep our income similar to how it is now), life insurance policies
Retirement contribution if you contribute more than what’s as already specified from the income / pre-tax section. Do not double count: No extra than what’s taken from paycheck
Savings contribution
We direct deposit (from our paychecks) $2800 per paycheck (so on average 2 paycheck month, $5600 monthly) into a separate account which goes into HYSA- from this we funnel the money into travel, extra contributions to ETFs, my backdoor Roth IRA, big purchases etc.
Investment contribution $1000 monthly to ETFs
Debt payments (please break this down individually and specify if you're paying above the minimum) We are on IDPSLF payments for our federal student loans, with loans to be forgiven in a few years (see above.) Right now we are on COVID forbearance and throwing our usual payments ($2200 total monthly) into savings. As this is income based repayment, the payments go up every year, but even though right now I am on $1500 monthly repayment (when not on pause due to COVID) this isn’t enough to cover interest on my student loans, which is why my balance is higher than what it started out as.
Donations (please specify if monthly or annual). Intermittent donations throughout the year- this year we donated my husband's stimulus check to a local food pantry, we gave $750 to BLM causes, and we give gifts totaling around $1.5k every Christmas to a local family in need ("adopt a family" through our local government agency- this will not be physical gifts this year due to COVID but we will be contributing a similar amount via gift cards!)
Electric $100
Wifi/Cable/Landline $300 (this is so high because we get multiple TV streaming services plus NFL Sunday Ticket)
Cellphone $190
Subscriptions $150 (periodicals, showtime, spotify, etc)
Gym membership Me: Yoga $90, Dance class $95, Husband: personal training $750 (yes, I know this is crazy. But it keeps him happy and healthy and that is priceless)
Pet expenses $62 pet insurance (don't count dog food, etc in this- that gets counted in grocery expenses)
Car payment / insurance $757 lease on luxury SUV for husband (my car is paid off)- also ridiculous, yes I know but somehow we have slipped into some lifestyle creep!
Regular therapy None (yoga counts as mental health "treatment" for me, been doing this for 3 years now and it has helped so much with my anxiety)
Paid hobbies None
Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
My parents didn't attend college- they are super smart but just didn't have the opportunities to do so (both are immigrants to the US). So, due to their very hard work which allowed me to flourish in school, I was able to do very well and they did expect me to go to college! I also wanted to be a physician from a very young age, and I'm so glad it worked out. I got a full-ride scholarship for my undergraduate degree and took out federal student loans for medical school. Though my parents did not contribute to my tuition, they definitely provided support throughout my time in school (paying for tickets home, giving me extra spending money for Christmas and a priceless amount of emotional support).
Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent/guardian(s) educate you about finances?
My parents were very very frugal! We hardly ever ate out and if we did so, it was a treat (and then we didn't get soda as the thought was that would add an additional $2 per person and that was expensive)! They put barely anything on credit and paid cash for their first house, cars, etc. I was not educated on stocks/investments as my parents did not have extra cash to invest, however I am very mindful with any extra spending (try to limit eating out, don't spend that much money on clothing, housewares unless I really need something.)
What was your first job and why did you get it?
Babysitting for a neighbor weekly for years! I was always interested in childcare (too much reading BSC- funny b/c now I am proudly childfree by choice!) I got it to have extra pocket money for shopping or going to movies with friends- when I got older the money was useful for gas for my car and to pay my monthly cell phone bill.
Did you worry about money growing up?
I did not worry about having basic necessities, but I am sad to say I did worry about money (as my parents were not willing to buy me Mudd jeans or the latest Adidas clamshell shoes so I thought we were 'poor'). Now, I recognize my privilege and realize that we were NOT ‘poor’- I never had to worry about the lights being cut off and I never went hungry.
Do you worry about money now?
No, and it is such a blessing to not worry about money and I remember this every day.
At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
I was responsible for my own bills (cell phone) from the start (around age 15)- after graduation from college at age 22 I was responsible for my own bills, housing, etc. I have a safety net in that if I ever become disabled and cannot work, I pay for disability income insurance and would receive a similar income to what I make now, as that insurance benefit.
Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain.
No
Day 1: Wednesday
6am: Ugh, my husband’s (H) alarm goes off. He starts work 2 hours before I do, so this is life for me most weekday mornings. I attempt to fall back asleep but I hear him and our dog (D) tiptoeing around for the next 45 minutes. After H leaves and D settles down again, I fall back asleep.
7:30am: I wake up! I browse the web while eating my breakfast (chocolate dipped digestives and cold brew coffee- my best purchases during the pandemic have been my cold brew pitcher and torani syrups to add flavor- this month is pumpkin pie syrup!) I wash my face and do my morning face routine (Vit C serum, moisturizer), pack lunch to bring to work (I go in to the office 2 times a week and WFH the other days), walk D, take a shower and put on some real clothing (actual pants!). Commute to office.
9am-5ish: I work! Since I’m going into the office less often, I use this time to catch up on paperwork (prior auths, notes) and checking in with colleagues F2F in between virtual patient appointments. I eat my lunch around 12:30 pm (sandwich with veggie turkey and cheese- I’ve been vegetarian for 13 years, and a banana). Also in between work I browse the internet, doing research to buy a new paper planner for 2021. I am a paper planner person as I do best with to-do lists that I can physically cross out when each task is done- I think I am going to invest in a Hobonichi Techo- does anyone have experience with these? I also see that H has filled up his gas tank ($43.61)
6pm: I’m home! I give H and D big kisses (D’s are sloppier than H’s) and we catch up with our day. I admit that I am a lazy, unhealthy person most of the time so I eat a ‘dinner’ consisting of raisin bread toast, apples and salted caramel hummus. Then I read a bit (downloaded “ The Power” on Kindle last night after watching “The Social Dilemma” in an attempt to decrease internet time.) Nighttime routine of changing into PJs, wash face, BHA, moisturizer. Sleeping by 10 pm.
Daily Total: $43.61
Day 2: Thursday
6am: Same as yesterday, except this time D is tippy-tapping on the hardwood a lot while H showers, so I get myself up to take him outside. I have a hard time falling back asleep afterward so I just stay awake, have breakfast in bed (cereal and cold brew) and watch news commentary on the upcoming presidential election (please please please vote!) Today is a WFH day so I shower, put on a plain t-shirt and leggings, some light makeup (eyeshadow, mascara, lip gloss) so I don’t look dead on Zoom.
8am-7pm: Work! Today is pretty busy with many back to back telehealth appointments, I try to keep up with notes, sending prescriptions and lab orders throughout the day and am semi-successful in not procrastinating. H comes home around 4 so I move into the guest bedroom to finish my final appointments of the day. I fit in lunch during one of my breaks- toasted sourdough, egg, and cheese sammie with potato chips. H bought himself lunch today ($8.79)
7:30 pm: H and I make dinner (again, raisin toast, apple, salted caramel hummus and some jaffa cookies). We have some Hilton points to use up by the end of this year, so we contemplate doing a weekend away and look up how many points we would use if we spent a long weekend in various hotels in Philadelphia, Baltimore and Richmond (all easily driveable.) We pick a location and book, and I’m excited to have something small to look forward to! This year we had to cancel a tropical vacation we had booked in the spring and we were planning on visiting England in the fall, however of course these had to be cancelled. I have taken off a few weeks for staycation, but it isn’t the same as exploring somewhere new. ($222, this is the extra cash we had to pay after using up our points- not bad for a fancy hotel downtown!)
10 pm: Changed into PJs, nighttime face routine and cozy in bed with a book. Sleep!
Daily Total: $230.79
Day 3: Friday
6am: Same as every other morning
8am: Whoops, I accidentally fell back asleep and just woke up just 30 minutes before my first appointment of the day! Even though today is another WFH day I get inspiration to wear a cute fall outfit so I shower, do my hair and change quickly before my first telehealth appointment. Eat breakfast (bagel, cold brew) in between meetings.
12:30 pm: I have a longer break in between morning and afternoon appointments today, so after a quick lunch (veggie turkey sandwich and apple) I go to Aldi and get some ingredients to bake cookies later today. I absolutely love Aldi- the ‘aisle of shame’ with the candles and random gadgets and decor is my weakness. Alas, today nothing catches my eye and I just leave with what was on my list- butter, 2 cans of pumpkin, confectioner’s sugar ($5.41)
5pm: Wrap up work, then it’s LONG WEEKEND TIME! I make the cookies (they have pumpkin, cinnamon, nutmeg and cloves in the batter and make the condo smell SO GOOD!) H and I go to grab pizza from a nearby pizza shop and bring it to a friends’ home for outside, socially distant dinner time. They have an adorable, smart and precocious little girl and it’s fun to be around children for a bit- however, it’s also exhausting (all the questions! All the attention!) and I’m reminded that I am quite happy to be child-free. I always thought I would turn 30 years old then magically want/have children, however when I turned 30 some time ago I had no magical yearning. I gave myself another 5 years and that desire to have kids never came- so this year I officially decided I am going to be content without having children. H is on board, too (luckily!) ($92.13)
9pm: Home, and it’s relaxing on the couch time! H is sports obsessed and throughout the years we have been together, somehow sports knowledge has leaked into my brain. I watch with him for a bit, then head to bed to read some more, then fall asleep!
Daily Total: $97.54
Day 4: Saturday
8 am: I finally got to sleep in! Take D on a quick walk then go back to bed for a bit. I pull up my Mint app and organize our spending/budgets- I have been using Mint for around 9 years (since H and I combined accounts) and I love it. We got paid yesterday, so I make sure everything is where it should be in our accounts. The best thing H ever did this pandemic was split our paychecks so some money goes into our primary checking account and the rest ($2800 every 2 weeks) goes into another checking account, which eventually gets transferred to HYSA. This way we don’t think of the other money as “spendable” and it’s much easier to save, then utilize for big purchases (vacations, ETFs) instead of taking it from our primary checking. After this organizing, I showeget ready and go to meet my friend for some farmer’s market time!
11am: My friend and I get coffees and wander around the outside market. It’s a beautiful fall day and I am loving it. I browse a bit and we get some food- I used to feel a LOT of guilt for “unnecessary” purchases due to feeling like I needed to save every cent, but now that H and I are meeting our savings goals and have everything set up for automatic contributions to retirement and investments, I feel much better with now and then spending on little splurges- even if it’s an expensive oat milk latte, or lunch out! ($20)
3pm: Ugh, somehow I have a stomachache (hope it wasn’t from my yummy lunch). I set up camp in bed with a hot water bottle and Tums. I watch a bit of “Emily in Paris” which has a terrible script but great eye candy (beautiful people, clothing and locale.) H went out as he is in the market for a new fall coat and returns with a clothing haul, so of course I request a "fashion show, fashion show, fashion show at lunch!" ($588)
6pm: Risotto for dinner! H and I used to order takeout/delivery a whole lot more on weekends prior to the pandemic, but during the last 6 months we have become more inventive at cooking at home. We then begin watching "The Haunting of Bly Manor" and IT IS SO GOOD.
Daily Total: $608
Day 5: Sunday
8am: I had a really good night’s sleep! H wants a nice big breakfast today so we make pancakes, eggs, and veggie sausage. This, of course makes us feel very nappy so we take a nap and cuddle.
1 pm: I find that Rugs USA is having a sale and I buy 2 rugs online. D was sick last weekend and unfortunately had diarrhea all over our living room rug, so we had to toss it. I found a new rug for the living room and a smaller one for the bedroom at a really good price ($163.99). I also decide to pre-emptively buy an upright carpet cleaner machine in case of any future messes, but Amazon is glitchy and keeps telling me there's an error and I can't apply my points during checkout. I give up and will try again tomorrow.
All afternoon/evening: Lazy on the coach, finish “The Power” and start “Uglies”. Eat leftover pizza and pumpkin cookies. Move to the bedroom to put on a face mask and watch The Real Housewives of Potomac. OMG it’s so good this season!
11pm: We don't have work tomorrow so go to bed a little later than usual, watching another episode of “The Haunting” before bed.
Daily Total: $163.99
Day 6: Monday
8am: Neither H nor I have work today! However, this is the start of my call week. I make sure my phone is turned on so I hear any calls that come in. I also try to check out of my Amazon cart again and it’s still not letting me apply my points. I give up and check out the usual way, points can be used later on another purchase ($134) I get some calls from work, however luckily everything can be pretty easily taken care of over the phone in a few minutes.
11am: I go grocery shopping, using a list I hastily made this AM by wandering around and looking in the fridge and pantry to jot down what we need. I get enough food for our meals for the week, including eggs, bread, bagels, milk, almond milk, veggie meats, frozen veggies, fruit, Gatorade, sparkling water, hummus, soup, Mac and cheese, face wash, contact lens solution, dish soap, paper goods ($117.58) Veggie turkey sandwich and chips for lunch along with more of "The Haunting."
3pm: I make H breakfasts for the week (egg burritos he can heat up, grab and go) and tidy up the kitchen. Every week I like to clean out the fridge, throwing away old leftovers and wiping down the fridge shelves. Eventually I want to get plastic bins to organize by categories. I love organizing and decluttering (insert the Marie Kondo "I love mess" gif here.)
Afternoon: Laundry, slice veggies for the week and make roasted sweet potatoes for easy sides for the week. This MD made me see how few vegetables I really consume so I guess I will make more of an effort!
8pm: I’ve had dinner (soup and baguette) and am ready to head out to my dance class! I participate in an adult dance class every Monday and I am so happy that I am able to participate in person for the time being- it is a small class (just me and 2 other students and the instructor) and we are very spaced out in the studio and wear masks while we practice.) Afterward, I had home, shower, then settle into bed.
Daily Total: $251.58
Day 7: Tuesday
6 am: H up, I hear the goings-on and can’t go back to sleep. I’m going in to the office today so I stay up to have some coffee and breakfast (bagel, cold brew) then shower, change, and head to work.
9am-5pm: Work is pretty slow today, so I continue on my research into paper planners for 2021. I also look into fountain pens- the Lamy Safari looks like a good starter pen, anybody have fav pens to share?
5:30 pm: I’m home! Our house cleaner came by today and everything is so fresh and clean! We first hired her two years ago, after much grumbling on my part (I don’t mind cleaning, but H and I have different standards of cleanliness and hiring a house cleaner has reduced our arguments by 75%.) I consider this a very worthwhile splurge. ($110 but already noted above in monthly expenses). I see that H has treated himself to a car wash and lunch out today ($57+$11)
8pm: The rest of the evening is spent vegging and snacking for dinner (oops, I was too tired to make anything today so I had pancakes, nutella, greek yogurt and granola). Nighttime routine, then bed!
Daily Total: $68
Food + Drink: $254.91
Fun / Entertainment: $222 (hotel res)
Home + Health: $297.99 (rug, rug cleaner)
Clothes + Beauty: $588
Transport: $100.61
Other: $0
Weekly Total: $1463.51
How do you feel about your spending? Was this a normal week for you? Has this inspired you to make changes or has it given you a “wow I’m doing pretty good” confidence boost? Is there anything you’re actively working on? No need to answer any or all these questions but just use this space to write any thoughts you have!
This was a pretty normal week for food! I find that we normally spend $1000 monthly on groceries/takeout/alcohol etc, so the numbers here make sense. I do try not to impulse buy (as you can see, I don’t order random things on Amazon as I get guilty about the expense/cluttecarbon emissions of shipping). The larger expenses this week were one-offs (fall/winter wardrobe for H, mini vacation, rugs) and usually happen every few months or so. I would say that this is the year that H and I got pretty serious about “paying ourselves first” and automating our savings, regular monthly contributions to investments, making sure to max out our retirement accounts, etc. I am excited to see what’s in our future after student loans are off the table! Our five year plan is to continue enjoying ourselves by spending time togethewith friends, traveling (when it is safe to do so) and buying a larger home with a yard in 2025. Thanks for reading, I would love any questions/comments/advice!
submitted by ShrinkyDink2016 to MoneyDiariesACTIVE [link] [comments]


2020.10.29 07:38 Wolfertry Premade Delivered Meals Review: Primal Kitchen

No one seems to do reviews of ready to eat meal deliveries, so anyways here's my experience with Primal Kitchen.
 
Their website is a little confusing, especially the payment system. Did you know you get a discount if you "subscribe" from your 2nd week onwards? It doesn't show until the due date for your payment has passed.
Only a few dollars, but regardless.
 
I ordered the warrior portions of their meals as opposed to their regular sized portions, the warrior portions promise to be an extra 100gm.
On delivery, the warrior meals were of average healthy size, so if you wanted "I like large portions" sized then I'm sorry to disappoint. The regular sized are supposed to be smaller, would probably suit those who can't eat an entire pizza in a single sitting. So those who worry about their waistline. This does appear to be normal portion sizes for this kind of service however.
 
Their meals are half meat, and half vegetables unless specified in the meal description.
 
 
I did raise a complaint about that chicken and received a prompt refund for that meal without any further hassle.
So the red meat is great, but the real problem is the vegetables.
 
Now as a rule I don't actually like vegetables, but these vegetables were on a whole new level. To put it bluntly, it's like they were expected to be eaten immediately after being cooked by the company and still hot, not after being delivered.
The vegetables seemed too much on the fresh side, so much that after microwaving them, I had trouble eating the majority of them. Perhaps they were not cooked & falling apart as much as they needed to be?
The cubed beetroot comes to mind, the chunks were resistant to being poked with a fork and had lost the familiar texture we're used to. The spinach was strongly flavored in itself to the extent I could only swallow a few stalks before chucking the rest and did not generally like being poked with a fork either.
Now I did microwave my meals which could've made a difference. But overall, the vegetables were generally uneatable as a whole.
Lovely variety though.
 
The only other ready to eat meals I've had as far is eat.co.nz, and I can definitely say with surety that the quality of Primal Kitchen surpasses them. The meat in itself is something I'd be willing to get every time.
I hate to repeat myself, but Primal Kitchen suffers in the vegetable department. Despite tasting both unprocessed and fresh, they're the only reason I don't want to order from them again.
Their packaging is pretty economical with very little wastage which I liked, they also provide an option for biodegrable cartons for the food itself which I tried to switch to, but their website kind of sucks.
As far, the only other site I've ordered from is eat.co.nz which I'll post whenever. Pictures? Forgot to take some! I'm also lazy, can't you tell?
submitted by Wolfertry to newzealand [link] [comments]


2020.10.28 22:12 exterstellar Kitchen cabinets cancelled without notice

TL;DR: entire order of kitchen cabinets was canceled without any notice. Was told by Kitchen Sales to check back periodically. Wasted money, time, and demolished existing kitchen for nothing.
Hi everybody, we recently had a not so great experience with ordering kitchen cabinets from IKEA so just wanted to share and ask for advice.
I placed an order for a bunch of kitchen cabinet stuff including various sizes of SEKTION, LHERYTTAN, etc. totaling about $4000+. We are doing a whole kitchen renovation that relies on everything fitting in place so I called customer service multiple times before ordering to make sure that everything is in stock and will be delivered on time. I was assured by multiple Kitchen Sales workers that these items are in stock and will be delivered, so I placed the order.
Fast forward to scheduled delivery date. I scheduled some people to come and demo the existing kitchen including removal of existing cabinets and flooring, in anticipation of the delivery of the new cabinets. Waited all day and all evening - no delivery. I called IKEA near end-of-day to check on the order, a Kitchen Sales rep said all the items are still in stock and that they were pulled from the warehouse and are just waiting for a delivery truck to pick them up and deliver. The rep said to wait for another week for delivery, so I said fine.
A couple days later, I called into IKEA again just to make sure everything is still being delivered since I have not gotten any shipping notice. This is when I find out that apparently the entire order had been canceled. I checked my email and sure enough there are no emails notifying me that the order was canceled. I checked my IKEA account - nothing.
I was then transferred to Kitchen After-Sales, who told me that the order was "automatically canceled by the system due to over-booking". When I told them I was assured that there would be stock and that I already started demolishing my kitchen, they said the only thing they can do is transfer me to Kitchen Sales so I can try to place the order again.
The Kitchen Sales rep checked and apparently 7 of the products I tried to order are out of stock. When I told them that I had been assured multiple times that they were in stock, I was told that the only thing they can do is either go ahead and ship my only the in stock items, or I would have to just keep checking back to see when everything is in stock again. I was told the restocking time would be around 2-3 weeks.
So now my kitchen is all demolished, flooring ripped out, new sink and other appliances already delivered, and we have no new cabinets coming.
Has anyone had a similar experience? Are there any kitchen cabinet alternatives of similar quality and cost? Thank you so much!
submitted by exterstellar to IKEA [link] [comments]


2020.10.28 18:41 OwOAudrey Pernicious

(My own original work. I also posted it on creepypasta wiki).

Behind the scenes of life lurks something pernicious that makes a nightmare of our world
- Thomas Ligotti (The Conspiracy Against The Human Race)
No one thought about Jake much anymore. They might remember on occasion some of his work when an elevator ride here or there hums vaguely familiar tunes. Outside of that his face may also show up briefly on one of those retro music-video cable channels but only once or twice a year if he was that lucky.
Though this doesn’t stop him from gracing these channels almost daily to see his once youthful mug. This sad bastard, he was once slated to be the new rising star dominating the music world. This however turned out to be a false hope and a fool’s paradise combined . One of his songs topped the charts but all further tracks thereafter barely even scraped the bottom of the barrel.
Now here he is this pitiful shell of a once optimistic man. In monstrous amounts of debt and wasting away inside a condo filled with countless unsold merch and empty bottles of beer he couldn’t even be bothered to clean up. He has long since stopped hiring maid services anyway.
Such a lonely life with the only company at any given time being the vodka currently swimming around in his liver or the phone-call he would get from one of his few remaining friends I.E. those compassionate few who can stand to be around this tragedy of a person. What kind of future awaits Jake? Homelessness? Organ failure? Perhaps death from a drug deal gone wrong?
All could be seen as reasonable possibilities if not for the fact that, unbeknownst to Jake, there is a hope for this one hit wonder. And it will come to grace him when the moon is full and the comets make their decisions. Soon it will come to flash him a faceless smile and shine some blackened light on this poor lost soul.
……………………………………………………………………………………………………
For the first time since childhood Jake got a sudden and unexpected night of Sleep paralysis. He ended up, despite a rightfully rocky beginning, not being upset at that. Why? Well because before the night was over he knew he was no longer alone. In his helpless state he saw an eerie man he had not laid witness to in a long long time. In Fact he was in middle-school the last time he saw that pair of illuminating blue eyes.
The moonlight man he and his mother had called him. A hallucination his well-meaning parents assured him was just that. A nightmare and nothing more. Now Jake wasn’t so sure of this anymore. In the corner of his bedroom he had seen the haunting beauty and eldritch vibrations of the moonlight man. And just stood there creepily staring at him and all Jake could do was, well, stare back.
This should have been one of the scariest moments of his sad-life, but no, he was not scared rather he felt strangely beckoned. Strangely welcomed by the cold warmth of this humanoid’s return.
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………
What little Jake got in royalties this month will sadly not be able to cover rent. He knew this but he did not care a single bit no matter how foolish that is. Hell he did not even get out of bed today. Nay for food or even to shower. All he did and all he wanted to do was see the dark figure return. But it had been weeks since he saw for the first time since K-12. So many dozens of hours since he experienced those grotesque yet heavenly emotions. In bed he now lays hanging on to these feelings only being interrupted by the growling of his stomach. Food will be a priority later fulfilled, now he just needs the moonlight man.
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………
He came again. He didn’t stay for long but he need not to this time around. Upon his visit he knelled right next to the trapped malnourished body of the musician and started whispering unspeakable things into his ears. The sanity drained from Jake as he learned the secrets of the universe that only the damned and the primordial could ever know. Stories of the cursed, the endangered, and the omnipresent. All those little happy fallacies that he held so dearly were laid crushed and broken. It was too much at first. He considered putting his pistol to his temple.
He considered swallowing every single illicit pill he could get his hands on to try and escape this wretched existence. But such thoughts were quickly chased away when his eyes met with the gem-like blue eyes of his moonlight man. Then, before the moment could pass,, the moonlight man leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on Jake’s lips. A shiver went down his frozen body. His loins were set aflame and a sense of ease overtook him. In an instance, just like that, the Moonlight man left once again. Now as the sun rises Jake sits up but does nothing outside of listening to his own pounding heart. An alien fluid still gleaming over his lips.
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………
The phone is now unhooked. The front door locked and even deadlocked. A stack of unread mail pills up right under the slot. He didn’t want to be bothered. All he wanted to do was to go to sleep for the night or, perhaps more preferably, go to sleep forever. And he is trying.
Filled with the last of his alcohol and a couple of sleeping pills he popped he has begun to beg for the beating black heart of his lover to return. To feel the dripping wet lips of the inhuman human once more, to see the glimpsing black-silk skin of this lovely creature once more.
The moonlight man will find him and if not he will somehow find the moonlight man. For Jake there is nothing else to live for. Out there in this waste of a society there are people typing away on their keyboards, having awkward dinner with their family, and mindlessly cheering for their favorite team during a ballgame.
None of these poor fucks knows what awaits them in-between worlds and inside unnoticed dimensions. And Jake, unlike them, no longer cares about the worldly affairs of a doomed planet. No longer did he leave his old E.P. playing on repeat or watched a bit of television, not like he has electricity anyway. He sits in bad waiting, waiting, and waiting.
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………
It has been a fortnight since he had a date with the man of moonlight. And the last one did not go over so well. It was purely panic inducing. Afar did the man stand away from Jake’s bed. Afar did the man speak. All Jake hard was indecipherable mumblings from the unearthly tongue. He couldn’t explicitly understand a word of it but it still filled Jake with in-explicit confusion and terrible chest pains.. All in all feeling genuine fear for the first time in months. What did this mean? Was it all over? What will he do now if it is?
……………………………………………………………………………………………………
He waited days and days but there was nothing from the dark realms. The pounding on his door from earlier barely even registered to him. He doesn’t care if the fucking president was at his door. He can only stir in his own insecurity. It feels like moonlight will never return to-No. No. No. No. He knows this isn’t true. An eureka moment hits him. He knows, albeit he doesn’t know how he knows, what moonlight communicated to him. What moonlight wanted from him. The uncanny words finally being taken in by his cracked and unhinged mind. Jake gives a smirk and grabs a knife from his kitchen.
………………………………………………………………………………………………
Blood is slowly but surely leaking from his cut wrists. Lighter fluid soaking into almost every crack and cranny on his nude form. He brings up the knife. slice , slice, slice. More blood dripping but this time from his thighs. He laughs. He cries tears of unfathomable joy. And most importantly, he can almost feel a presence in the other end of his condo.It’s him.
It’s working…..But he needs more. Jake bites down on a towel and brings the hammer down on his big toe. It breaks open with a crack and a tip of the whitest bone sticks out from the pouring blood. The pain is unbearable but it’s not like that will stop him now. Jake looks up and finally sees those treasured glowing blue eyes from out of the darkness. Together at last. No more isolation. No more pain. No more never-ending disappointment. He will be at peace.He lights a match, closes his eyes, and drops it.
………………………………………………………………
His corporeal body melted into ooze and ashes but as Jake predicted it was soon happily reborn into a brand new world and life.
He opened his eyes for the first time and gazed upon the floating starry cosmos he is flying in.
There, near an adjacent array of portals , Moonlight was waiting for him.
They embraced. Their limbs and spirits lustfully wrapped around each other. For eternity they will, and always had, frolicked across violet terrains all under an endless array of fulvous moons. Inside the bellies of uncanny beasts and on the flowerbeds of abandoned lands they forever share bizarre fluids and act out lurid desires. Together they dance and laugh across the infinite and within all things sublime.A minute ago, or maybe it had been a thousand years, the galaxies aligned in their ballad and the earth was consumed with fiery destruction.
Jake wonders briefly if his ascent into this newfound plane had caused the end days for mankind or if the returning gods even know that he exists to start. It was all trivial and had no bearing on his immortal life. He was with his eerie entity. His hauntingly beautiful spouse. His love from the far reaches of space and time. Forever in an extra-terrestrial heaven. He would not have it any other way.
submitted by OwOAudrey to stayawake [link] [comments]


2020.10.28 11:01 CanBunny Smart Kitchen Appliances that Make Working from Home Easier

Smart Kitchen Appliances that Make Working from Home Easier
Prior to there was COVID-19, many people left the house to take care of their work like regular and also additionally came residence to unwind and likewise be with their home. There was a conclusive line in between task in addition to life, today the equilibrium appears to be a little bit off-kilter. A great deal of people are working from another area which indicates there are more than likely extra disturbances making job take longer to complete. In addition merely representing teammates is greater than most likely not the precise very same, as it made use of to be just a fast lose out on along with a dive to get to their workdesk-- currently it takes a strong web link along with a prolonged description with email to get, what can have been a quick conversation, a long term extracted back-and-forth message.
What we're trying to state is, working from home is tough in addition to time consuming, so your kitchen area work ought to not add to your tension. There are innovative, practical kitchen area gadgets nowadays that have in fact been made to aid you in your food preparation location to ensure that you can have even more time to concentrate on the essential points in your life. That's why we're diving right into 3 great kitchen area devices in addition to attaches that might be the conserving style you require while working from house throughout this around the world pandemic.

https://preview.redd.it/nw7qqnu65tv51.jpg?width=398&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=816ccdf44848c05b76e85268a31b6b5b0c31a334
A Fridge That Impersonates a Computer system
When your refrigerator is basically a clever tool, you can expect your days in the cooking location to be far more efficient than they have actually ever before been. Some brilliant fridges likewise have a big display screen on the right-hand door, allowing you to not only take a look at the within at what food you have easily readily available, yet it also enables you to produce a note to the youngsters when you require to head to the shop, stream several of your preferred tracks while you dish prep job, therefore a large amount a lot more. You can also inspect your active routine so you're frequently staying in addition to task likewise when you're merely pouring that second mug of coffee.
A Range That Can Basically Pre-heat Your Oven
If the kids are taking classes generally for organization as well as also you're furthermore functioning from residence, putting in the time to cook happens a bigger bargain when it suggests there are a lot extra starving mouths to feed throughout the day. Yet, it's not like you can merely go as well as invest all your time in the cooking area, preparing something delicious for you all to feast on for lunch. Rather, conserve by yourself a little time with the assistance of a reasonable choice which will absolutely permit you to pre-heat your stove from anywhere you are! So, if you're servicing a job that can use your focus some time much longer, secure your phone along with regulate the temperature level along with food preparation timers without requiring to climb up from your chair in addition to leave your office.
Multitasking is a critical ability to have when operating from residence. It can truly feel difficult to handle the youngsters and additionally other household dedications while at the very same time focusing on workshop target dates for your job. The bright side is, utilizing voice-enabled residence devices make the job day far more convenient. Instead of quiting what you are doing to activate your dishwashing tools, just notify your voice controlled tool to "start the dishwashing tools." If the cooking location is scenting a little bit great smoky after frying up those eggs for breakfast, inform your over-the-range microwave/vent hood to, "established the hood fan speed to reduced," as you're servicing a truly vital discussion. While it might seem refined, having voice-activated tools will certainly include time to your day so you do not require to get rid of another minute of it.
When work becomes your life, something requires to provide so you can begin valuing it once again. Let your kitchen location gadgets begin providing you a little contentment while you labor at home. Do not worry any type of sort of longer when you have sensible food preparation location residence tools aiding you throughout the day.
In addition to, if you want finding even more smart home appliances, take a look at our publication online! Certainly, if you're wishing to ask a professional some residence appliance issues, offer us a phone call today and also furthermore we'll exist to address.
submitted by CanBunny to u/CanBunny [link] [comments]


2020.10.27 22:23 NerdyShibaDad [RIP] Hayate, 14yo Shiba Inu

It is with a heavy heart that I announce that Petty Officer First Class Hayate Inu, USCG, Retired, has passed away at the age of 13. She began her Coast Guard career as a morale dog third class at Coast Guard Station Portland, OR. She then advanced to Petty Officer Second Class and was transferred to CG Sector Lake Michigan in Milwaukee, WI. After attaining the rate of Petty Officer First Class she was relocated to the Coast Guard Cutter Sea Otter homeported in San Diego, CA. She then retired and moved to Flagstaff, AZ where she enjoyed her remaining years. During her career, she vigilantly guarded the Chief’s Office against both intruders and acquaintances alike. She gladly chased seagulls off of the piers to prevent them from soiling Coast Guard assets. It was with great satisfaction that she sampled lunches from the galley to ensure they were adequate for the crew.
When not on duty she enjoyed going for hikes or long walks, with mandatory post-walk puppychinos. Watching her dad cook in the kitchen and sampling the dishes he was creating. Another favorite past time napping on the couch and while dad(s) watched television. She attended a few Sea Cadet training camps helping to keep up the morale and spirits of both cadets and adults alike. She earned the nickname, “pizza thief”, as delicious slices of Italian pie would always go missing whenever she was in the same room.
Hayate leaves behind her daddy Justin, stepfather Doug, and younger brother Ichiro.
A private ceremony will be held at a later date to honor her service.
submitted by NerdyShibaDad to dogs [link] [comments]


2020.10.27 20:07 NemoWatches Oblivious player is oblivious.

This story takes place a long time ago, like, pre-“cellphone in every pocket” era. This may be a bit long. I was in my teens and I was hooked on playing D&D. Playing roleplaying games kept me out of trouble and also kept me from indulging in certain….habits. My regular group wanted to branch out with other games like World of Darkness and Shadowrun, but I truly loved playing D&D (2nd Edition at the time). I realized I could get my fix by joining another group at the local gaming shop. The owner told me there were two groups playing D&D and one was actually looking for people to join up. After making a phone call and some arrangements, I returned to the store to meet up with the group.
The group was seven people:
The DM, a college student in his early 20’s. His group had split up, as they do, so he and his friend, Fox, wanted to create a new one. He was a very good DM who was an aspiring writer. He understood the concept of collaborative story telling way before most. He really wanted his players to help drive the story. He was a fast thinker and was able to adapt to change. He wasn’t the most original story teller, copying many ideas from movies and books, but his stories were fun.
“Fox”, another college student, early 20’s and the DM’s roommate. He played a Human ranger. Dual wielder build , think Madmartigan from “Willow”. Fox and the DM seemed to be old friends. Fox was very funny and quick witted. Tall guy with kind of a frat guy vibe to him, I felt like he was going to be an a$$h*!e, but he was more of a “laugh with you” versus a “laugh at you” kind of guy.
“Blue”, a young lady in her early 20’s, playing a Drow cleric. Drow were rare back then, but Drizzt was big and everyone was finding a way to play them. She had a solid backstory so I guess the DM allowed it. She was very bouncy and bubbly IRL, an absolute sweetheart of a woman but she role-played her character completely differently. A dark, pained exile from the Underdark who had critical knowledge about the BBEG of the campaign.
“Scratch”, the youngest in the group. A 14-15 year old kid who was very into D&D. His mom would drop him off. He was playing the mischievous rogue trope, a half elf thief. Not the most mature kid, prone to acting a little childish and bratty, but he would pick on when we were being annoyed and he was a talented player. Apparently he was a theater kid, so his parents thought this was great practice for him. Despite being closer in age to the older players, I tended to talk to Scratch more out of game.
“Bull”, a guy in his mid to late 20’s. Who claimed he worked as a bartender and acted like that was the pinnacle of “cool”. Would always have some story about a “girl he picked up last night”. Carried himself like he was a body builder, even though he wasn’t big or muscular at all. He was a massive rules lawyer. He would find any esoteric rule or optional rule to give bonuses to his character. Bull was a power gamer, playing an elven fighte “archer”. Had a very bad habit of interrupting people when they were talking. But he was funny and a good player. As much as he would annoy you, he could still make you laugh.
“Sapper” our oldest player in his 40’s playing a half-elf druid. I was initially a little weirded out that there was this older guy in the group, but DM and Fox apparently knew him for a long time. DM even referred to him as “Pops” every once and a while. He was an old school gamer who was the ultimate support player. He was the antithesis of “Bull” in that while he knew all the rules, he would be more helpful and remind the other players or the DM if they missed something. He rarely spoke about his personal life. He was a stocky, barrel chested guy.
And finally me. I was around 18 years old and I was playing an Elven mage. I had just started college and still living at home. I was a little oblivious to the world around me and I frequently missed cues and hints. I was the guy who would ask what’s going on while watching the same movie as you. (I’ve gotten much better.) When I played roleplaying games, I was able to focus on the game for some reason, so I really enjoyed playing. I felt I was my “best self” in game.
Initially we were playing at the store, once a week in the evenings. It was loud, a little crowded, and…..smelly sometimes. There were multiple tables with Magic the Gathering players and a large Warhammer type game table with a bunch of older guys. The first game was supposed to last only two hours, but we were having so much fun and we stuck around until the owner kicked us out. The DM had us meet more organically in story rather than the whole “Stranger in a bar” trope. Everyone’s character had a personal stake in the outcome so every character could be engaged.
Our game was going very well. The DM was talented and gave us some incredible action beats. We were progressing nicely and having a lot of fun. Well, most of the time. We had our problem player, Bull. Like I mentioned, Bull had no issue interrupting people and would sometimes step on other player’s turns or even the DM’s. He was the guy that would scream out an action just as the DM was explaining something. You know what I’m talking about? Like this:
DM: “The Lord raises his scepter and….” Bull: “I shoot it out of his hand!!!!” Rolls “I got a 19” DM: “um, the scepter flies out of his hand. The guards train their crossbows on you. The Lord holds his hand and screams “WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU? I WAS GOING TO SIGNAL THE CHEF TO START DINNER!”
The DM would call out Bull when he would try to add all these weird bonuses to his attack rolls. DM and Fox caught on very quick to all these and the three would argue at length about where he found these and Bull would argue and wave around a legal pad full of notes about why he gets those bonuses. This is before the age of smartphones and the internet as we know it. Bull could never back up his claims and would only say things like “I found this in (insert module)” or in “a Dragon Magazine”. Many of his bonuses were redundant and didn’t make sense. It was annoying and Scratch pointed out to me that when Bull got too animated, the store owner would walk by and he would calm down. After the game, the owner would always pull Bull aside and talk to him if he had an outburst.
One day, the group started talking about moving the game elsewhere. Apparently, there were a few reasons. First of which was Blue. Now, like I said, this was awhile back and female gamers were extremely rare. When the store was packed, there were only two ladies in the place regularly. Blue and an older lady who played Magic. Blue was a very amiable girl who was kind to everyone she met. Her personality was such that the guys at the store instantly thought she was interested in them. Hell, I thought the same thing for a bit, but I realized that her kindness was not flirting. The game was constantly interrupted by guys trying to talk to her. Well, after a while, one of the much older guys in the store started to pester Blue a little too often and the older guys had to step in.
Secondly, Magic the Gathering was blowing up and the store owner wanted to limit our table top time to make way for more Magic gamers. Apparently, Magic made the owner more money. It also drew in younger folks, which made things more uncomfortable. They were louder and less respectful of other people’s space and property. One day, a kid just threw a soft drink across the room, missing his target, and landing on our map, wiping clean most of a battle. No apologies, no action from the owner. DM suggested we move the game to his house. We went around the table and we all, one by one, agreed to move the game to DM’s house. Sapper didn’t immediately agree, but after he and DM went outside to chat for a bit, he agreed. We left the store that night for the last time gaming there. I walked home while everyone else went to their respective cars. I saw DM and Sapper talking to Scratch’s mother, Scratch told me they were discussing the change of venue.
DM and Fox lived in a fairly large guest house attached to a bigger house. Apparently, a cop lived in the big house because there was a police car parked in front of it. This made me slightly nervous, for…..reasons. When we walked in, their dining room had a large table and a large bookcase full of D&D books. This was a much more comfortable venue. We got right to the game and things were so much better. The privacy made us more comfortable and the role-play greatly improved. The players all started to affect voices and accents. Even Bull relaxed a bit and wasn’t quite so annoying. We had a lot of fun for a while. Our campaign saw our party teaming up to fight a Drow wizard who was trying to find an artifact of immense power. Blue’s character was the BBEG’s daughter and vowed to stop him from killing any more innocents. After a while, a love triangle formed between Fox, Blue, and Bull in game. Well…more like a love wedge, with Fox and Blue flirting and having moments and Bull trying very hard to win Blue over. I thought it was very entertaining and Scratch and I started to try to mess with Bull’s character via the old “notes to the DM” trick. Scratch would create fake love notes from Blue to Bull and hide them in his pack. I would cast an illusion to make it look like she was looking at him and checking him out. Bull would react or confront Blue and she would let him down, which would leave him slightly embarrassed and upset. One day, Sapper pulled the two of us aside one day and asked us to stop messing with Bull that way. I wasn’t sure why he said that, but I stopped. Can’t say the same for Scratch, though.
Then things started to get a little uncomfortable. Initially, Blue would ride in with Bull, because she didn’t have a car. I had asked if he could give me a ride too, but he said it would be too out of his way. (He lived two blocks away from me.) I was saving up for a car, so I had to bum rides or take the bus. After a while, Bull offered to give me a ride because “he” realized how close we lived together. When he picked me up, I saw that Blue wasn’t there. During our car rides, he would talk about how Blue was so into him and how they went out earlier in the week or she stayed over his house. When I finally asked why she wasn’t catching a ride with us anymore, he said he wanted to keep their relationship low key. I wondered why he would tell me then, but I didn’t give it too much thought. Blue would always be there before us. When the game was over, I would catch a ride home with Scratch’s mother because Bull would hang out afterwards at the house with the older guys and Blue. I couldn’t hang out because I had school or work early. I guess Sapper hung out with them too, because I never saw him leave. Scratch and I would talk about the game on the car ride home. While I would bring up what happened in game, Scratch would talk about what happened at the game. He pointed out that at the table, Bull would always try to sit next to Blue. Early on, there was a musical chair game every night with all the players shifting chairs. Eventually, Blue nestled between the DM and Fox and Bull would sit across from her.
Fox and Bull would get into arguments often. Fox would try to do something and Bull would spout rules, real world physics, or any other reasons why he couldn’t do that. They started to go at it until Sapper or DM would get them to calm down and move ahead. Bull would do his bonus thing where he would be in a tree, shooting an arrow at an enemy, and he would roll and call out a ridiculous number. DM would ask where he came up with the number, and Bull would start listing:
Weapon Specialist: +1 Dex Bonus: +4 Elf: +1 Master work bow: +1 Master work arrows: +1 Higher ground: +2 Sun behind you: +1 Taking time for the shot: +3 Elevated Position: +2 Hated Enemy: +2
DM cut him off and said “Higher Ground and Elevated Position are the same thing, you aren’t a ranger, and I still want to see where the hell you are finding these BS bonuses. And I don’t even want to hear you say “Dragon Magazine”. Then we would have to wait 20 minutes for Bull to rifle through books and try to find (or pretend to find) where he found the bonuses. One time Scratch said, “You take the time to write down the bonuses, why don’t you write down where you found them so we don’t have to wait for you to find them. “ Bull, snapped at him and barked “F$&* you”! Sapper told him to calm down, that he was a kid. To which, Bull replied “You aren’t my father!” DM told both Bull and Scratch to relax or the game would stop. Bull calmed down and sulked when he couldn’t produce all of the extra bonuses. Blue tried to console him and point out he still hit his target, but he still acted upset.
Things came to a head one day when in an earlier game, Blue was captured in game after she fell in battle and in the subsequent mission, the rest of the party went to save her. Despite Bull’s best efforts, Fox got to her first and had his swashbuckling, two sword flipping, and dashing rescue moment. He even got to scoop her up and swing on a rope to get her out of harm’s way with me sending a fireball at the enemies chasing them so they had an explosion to swing away from! They landed and had an in game kiss, which…they….also…did IRL. Fox, swept her up and laid one on her. Blue was definitely surprised, but she clearly reciprocated the kiss. My jaw dropped. Scratch immediately turned to Bull and blurted out, “OOO, that has to sting!” I saw Bull start shaking. He stood up and started screaming at the DM. “There’s no way he could do that. He killed like 8 guys single handed!” Scratch pointed out that He, Sapper, and I all helped or buffed him with spells or arrows. Even Bull shot and killed one of Fox’s attackers. Bull, knocked over his large soda as he was complaining, and Sapper immediately got up to get paper towels from the kitchen.
Bull started in on Fox, claiming he lied on his initiative rolls and exaggerated his movement to get to her. DM said, “Fox rolls on the table in front of us, and we are tracking movement on the grid. There’s no way he could have cheated”. “BullSht! You are covering for him! You both are trying to make me look bad, you’ve been doing it all campaign!” Scratch interjected “You don’t need their help to look bad.” Bull screamed again “F&% you, you little sht!” Fox admonished Scratch with a glance, but glared at Bull. Blue stepped in, “Bull, calm down, please.” Bull turned on her, “And you let him kiss you! Come on, let’s get out of here!!!” She said, “What? No, I’m …” DM spoke up, “Dude, you need to leave, now. “Scratch, who was smiling at the action, chimed in “Yeah, get lost, a$$h!e!!”
With that, I saw Bull’s hand reach into pocket, I pulled Scratch behind me in an act that, at the time, I didn’t understand why I doing it. Fox stepped back with Blue as DM moved around the table. Bull produced a pocket knife and turned toward DM as he flicked it open. DM pulled a chair in front of him and yelled something like, “DAAA!” Before I knew it, Sapper was rushing into the room. He grabbed Bull’s hand and twisted it hard inward toward Bull’s chest. I heard the knife fall and I saw Bull swing and hit Sapper on his ear. Sapper yanked Bull’s arm behind him and grabbed the back of his neck. He them slammed Bull on the table, (crushing some miniatures) and then slid him onto the floor. There was some wrestling on the floor and Fox and DM rushed over. I couldn’t see what was happening because I backed away and found myself in the corner of the room standing next to Blue. Scratch had slipped out to the other corner to watch the fight. I saw Fox pick up the knife and Sapper barked at him to put it on the table. Sapper then said to DM, “Go get my handcuffs, they are on my belt.” DM ran off through the back door and Sapper directed Fox on how to pin down Bull’s legs. He then told Blue to call the police. After hearing that, Bull stopped cursing and started saying “Ok, Ok, I’m good, I’ll just go. “ Sapper said “Oh, you’re going alright….” Bull pleaded with him, but Sapper kept him down until DM came back with a pair of handcuffs. Like real police handcuffs. Sapper puts them on him and stood him up. He searched him like a cop would and then commanded Bull to sit down in a chair. Sapper then looks at DM and asks, “You ok, son?” to which DM responds.” Yeah, Dad. “
My jaw dropped. It was like that scene at the end of “Usual Suspects”. As Sapper was asking everyone if they were ok, memories started flashing before me. I never realized just how oblivious I was. Here’s a list of revelations that hit me while I was standing there waiting for the police.
First, Sapper was DM’s father. He lived in the big house. That’s why I never saw him leave. That’s why DM would sometimes call him “pops”, he wasn’t being insulting, he was just talking to his dad!
Second, the reason Sapper told Scratch and I not to mess with Bull, was that he was aware there was something wrong with Bull. I didn’t really pay too much attention to Bull when he would drive me to the game, but he talked a lot about how he and Blue had a relationship, I assumed he was telling the truth. I thought Bull was angry because Fox kissed his girl. Obvious to everyone but me, that wasn’t the case. Sapper was aware of Bull’s delusions and he asked Scratch and I to stop messing with him because he just didn’t want us aggravating the situation. Which brings me to the third thing.
Fox and Blue were actually and item! Scratch later filled me in that he figured out they started dating around the same time we moved the game to the house. Their relationship progressed to the point where they were spending the day together and he was taking her home. Or maybe she was staying there. Either way, that’s why Bull wasn’t driving her to game or home. It seemed that she was so nice that she didn’t want to overtly show off their relationship because she didn’t want to upset Bull.
Fourth thing…..Bull was bat crap crazy!!! He apparently was delusional. He truly believed he and Blue were in a relationship, despite all evidence to the contrary. After all this was done, we all sat down and they discussed everything that happened. Apparently, he been asking Blue out since they met and she had been letting him down, but she still was happy to be his friend. Recently, Fox had a conversation with Bull where he broke it to him that he and Blue were an item. Bull apparently told him he was still going to chase after her saying “Let the best man win.” Sometime after that conversation, Bull got it in his head that he and Blue had some kind of relationship. When he saw Fox kiss Blue, he truly thought Fox was kissing “his” girl. Which is why he snapped.
Which brings me to the fifth and final thing. Sapper was a cop. He lived in the big house like I mentioned, and that’s why he was leery about moving the game to the house. He lived there with DM’s Step-mother and another son and daughter who was several years younger than DM. He told DM that they had to hold the games in the in the guest house where he was living with Fox. He also wasn’t too happy about having a minor come over but he and DM talked to Scratch’s mom and later to his father at length. I was always nervous around cops back then…..for…reasons…. but I realized that he was just a regular guy, a guy who was into the same things I was into. Well, ……..not everything I was into.
So this whole internal revelation montage ended, when I heard the sirens of police cars. I was worried about where my backpack was…for ….reasons. They came in and started asking what was going on. Bull started screaming about how his father was a high ranking police officer from the next county over and how they had to let him go immediately. The police got statements from everyone, including me. They arrested Bull and took him away. We all were standing around when Fox apologized to everyone thinking that his actions caused all the problems. Blue apologized because she didn’t realize just how much Bull was into her. Scratch apologized because he thought his teasing pushed him over the edge. I apologized because I just didn’t realize how bat crap crazy Bull was and I never told anyone about his conversations with me. Sapper apologized because he knew we shouldn’t have let Bull play with us. He had a conversation with the store owner who told him that Bull was prone to fits of anger. The owner told him he had calmed down over the years after he suspended him from the store a few times. But the owner still saw that anger bubble out sometimes. DM finally spoke up and said it was his fault. He convinced his dad to bring the game here and allow Bull to play. He said he should have listened to his dad’s intuition. When all was said and done, we all agreed to take a couple weeks off so DM could retool the campaign since Bull’s character was not going to be there anymore.
Sapper, DM, Fox, and Blue went out to tell Scratch’s parents what had happened. She was shocked and according to Scratch, she needed those two weeks to be convinced to let him play at DM’s house again. I saw how upset she was so I didn’t ask for a ride. Sapper offered to take me home, but I politely declined…….for…..reasons and I took the bus. We started up again and DM stated Bull’s character fell during Blue’s rescue.
Bull apparently showed up a day later to get his car. Sapper stood outside and watched him as he got dropped off and he jumped in without a word. Bull got charged and his family got him a great lawyer that got the charges reduced. I’m not sure if he served time, but I heard he got a ton of community service. We added and subtracted people to our group over the next couple of years we played together. Eventually, my original group started playing D&D again and I decided I would play with the two groups.
Years later, I lost touch with Scratch, but through the magic of Facebook, I still talk to the old group. Blue and Fox dated for several years, but eventually parted ways and got married to other people. DM is living with his husband, (another thing I didn’t notice.) I’m actually still very close to Sapper. He was kind of a mentor to me and got me to drop certain…habits, and go into his line of work after I finished school. Now with the advent of online table top gaming, DM is putting together a reunion game using Fantasy Grounds. I’m really looking forward to getting to play with my old friends again.
submitted by NemoWatches to CritCrab [link] [comments]


2020.10.27 20:06 NemoWatches Oblivious player is oblivious.

This story takes place a long time ago, like, pre-“cellphone in every pocket” era. This may be a bit long. I was in my teens and I was hooked on playing D&D. Playing roleplaying games kept me out of trouble and also kept me from indulging in certain….habits. My regular group wanted to branch out with other games like World of Darkness and Shadowrun, but I truly loved playing D&D (2nd Edition at the time). I realized I could get my fix by joining another group at the local gaming shop. The owner told me there were two groups playing D&D and one was actually looking for people to join up. After making a phone call and some arrangements, I returned to the store to meet up with the group.
The group was seven people:
The DM, a college student in his early 20’s. His group had split up, as they do, so he and his friend, Fox, wanted to create a new one. He was a very good DM who was an aspiring writer. He understood the concept of collaborative story telling way before most. He really wanted his players to help drive the story. He was a fast thinker and was able to adapt to change. He wasn’t the most original story teller, copying many ideas from movies and books, but his stories were fun.
“Fox”, another college student, early 20’s and the DM’s roommate. He played a Human ranger. Dual wielder build , think Madmartigan from “Willow”. Fox and the DM seemed to be old friends. Fox was very funny and quick witted. Tall guy with kind of a frat guy vibe to him, I felt like he was going to be an a$$h*!e, but he was more of a “laugh with you” versus a “laugh at you” kind of guy.
“Blue”, a young lady in her early 20’s, playing a Drow cleric. Drow were rare back then, but Drizzt was big and everyone was finding a way to play them. She had a solid backstory so I guess the DM allowed it. She was very bouncy and bubbly IRL, an absolute sweetheart of a woman but she role-played her character completely differently. A dark, pained exile from the Underdark who had critical knowledge about the BBEG of the campaign.
“Scratch”, the youngest in the group. A 14-15 year old kid who was very into D&D. His mom would drop him off. He was playing the mischievous rogue trope, a half elf thief. Not the most mature kid, prone to acting a little childish and bratty, but he would pick on when we were being annoyed and he was a talented player. Apparently he was a theater kid, so his parents thought this was great practice for him. Despite being closer in age to the older players, I tended to talk to Scratch more out of game.
“Bull”, a guy in his mid to late 20’s. Who claimed he worked as a bartender and acted like that was the pinnacle of “cool”. Would always have some story about a “girl he picked up last night”. Carried himself like he was a body builder, even though he wasn’t big or muscular at all. He was a massive rules lawyer. He would find any esoteric rule or optional rule to give bonuses to his character. Bull was a power gamer, playing an elven fighte “archer”. Had a very bad habit of interrupting people when they were talking. But he was funny and a good player. As much as he would annoy you, he could still make you laugh.
“Sapper” our oldest player in his 40’s playing a half-elf druid. I was initially a little weirded out that there was this older guy in the group, but DM and Fox apparently knew him for a long time. DM even referred to him as “Pops” every once and a while. He was an old school gamer who was the ultimate support player. He was the antithesis of “Bull” in that while he knew all the rules, he would be more helpful and remind the other players or the DM if they missed something. He rarely spoke about his personal life. He was a stocky, barrel chested guy.
And finally me. I was around 18 years old and I was playing an Elven mage. I had just started college and still living at home. I was a little oblivious to the world around me and I frequently missed cues and hints. I was the guy who would ask what’s going on while watching the same movie as you. (I’ve gotten much better.) When I played roleplaying games, I was able to focus on the game for some reason, so I really enjoyed playing. I felt I was my “best self” in game.
Initially we were playing at the store, once a week in the evenings. It was loud, a little crowded, and…..smelly sometimes. There were multiple tables with Magic the Gathering players and a large Warhammer type game table with a bunch of older guys. The first game was supposed to last only two hours, but we were having so much fun and we stuck around until the owner kicked us out. The DM had us meet more organically in story rather than the whole “Stranger in a bar” trope. Everyone’s character had a personal stake in the outcome so every character could be engaged.
Our game was going very well. The DM was talented and gave us some incredible action beats. We were progressing nicely and having a lot of fun. Well, most of the time. We had our problem player, Bull. Like I mentioned, Bull had no issue interrupting people and would sometimes step on other player’s turns or even the DM’s. He was the guy that would scream out an action just as the DM was explaining something. You know what I’m talking about? Like this:
DM: “The Lord raises his scepter and….” Bull: “I shoot it out of his hand!!!!” Rolls “I got a 19” DM: “um, the scepter flies out of his hand. The guards train their crossbows on you. The Lord holds his hand and screams “WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU? I WAS GOING TO SIGNAL THE CHEF TO START DINNER!”
The DM would call out Bull when he would try to add all these weird bonuses to his attack rolls. DM and Fox caught on very quick to all these and the three would argue at length about where he found these and Bull would argue and wave around a legal pad full of notes about why he gets those bonuses. This is before the age of smartphones and the internet as we know it. Bull could never back up his claims and would only say things like “I found this in (insert module)” or in “a Dragon Magazine”. Many of his bonuses were redundant and didn’t make sense. It was annoying and Scratch pointed out to me that when Bull got too animated, the store owner would walk by and he would calm down. After the game, the owner would always pull Bull aside and talk to him if he had an outburst.
One day, the group started talking about moving the game elsewhere. Apparently, there were a few reasons. First of which was Blue. Now, like I said, this was awhile back and female gamers were extremely rare. When the store was packed, there were only two ladies in the place regularly. Blue and an older lady who played Magic. Blue was a very amiable girl who was kind to everyone she met. Her personality was such that the guys at the store instantly thought she was interested in them. Hell, I thought the same thing for a bit, but I realized that her kindness was not flirting. The game was constantly interrupted by guys trying to talk to her. Well, after a while, one of the much older guys in the store started to pester Blue a little too often and the older guys had to step in.
Secondly, Magic the Gathering was blowing up and the store owner wanted to limit our table top time to make way for more Magic gamers. Apparently, Magic made the owner more money. It also drew in younger folks, which made things more uncomfortable. They were louder and less respectful of other people’s space and property. One day, a kid just threw a soft drink across the room, missing his target, and landing on our map, wiping clean most of a battle. No apologies, no action from the owner. DM suggested we move the game to his house. We went around the table and we all, one by one, agreed to move the game to DM’s house. Sapper didn’t immediately agree, but after he and DM went outside to chat for a bit, he agreed. We left the store that night for the last time gaming there. I walked home while everyone else went to their respective cars. I saw DM and Sapper talking to Scratch’s mother, Scratch told me they were discussing the change of venue.
DM and Fox lived in a fairly large guest house attached to a bigger house. Apparently, a cop lived in the big house because there was a police car parked in front of it. This made me slightly nervous, for…..reasons. When we walked in, their dining room had a large table and a large bookcase full of D&D books. This was a much more comfortable venue. We got right to the game and things were so much better. The privacy made us more comfortable and the role-play greatly improved. The players all started to affect voices and accents. Even Bull relaxed a bit and wasn’t quite so annoying. We had a lot of fun for a while. Our campaign saw our party teaming up to fight a Drow wizard who was trying to find an artifact of immense power. Blue’s character was the BBEG’s daughter and vowed to stop him from killing any more innocents. After a while, a love triangle formed between Fox, Blue, and Bull in game. Well…more like a love wedge, with Fox and Blue flirting and having moments and Bull trying very hard to win Blue over. I thought it was very entertaining and Scratch and I started to try to mess with Bull’s character via the old “notes to the DM” trick. Scratch would create fake love notes from Blue to Bull and hide them in his pack. I would cast an illusion to make it look like she was looking at him and checking him out. Bull would react or confront Blue and she would let him down, which would leave him slightly embarrassed and upset. One day, Sapper pulled the two of us aside one day and asked us to stop messing with Bull that way. I wasn’t sure why he said that, but I stopped. Can’t say the same for Scratch, though.
Then things started to get a little uncomfortable. Initially, Blue would ride in with Bull, because she didn’t have a car. I had asked if he could give me a ride too, but he said it would be too out of his way. (He lived two blocks away from me.) I was saving up for a car, so I had to bum rides or take the bus. After a while, Bull offered to give me a ride because “he” realized how close we lived together. When he picked me up, I saw that Blue wasn’t there. During our car rides, he would talk about how Blue was so into him and how they went out earlier in the week or she stayed over his house. When I finally asked why she wasn’t catching a ride with us anymore, he said he wanted to keep their relationship low key. I wondered why he would tell me then, but I didn’t give it too much thought. Blue would always be there before us. When the game was over, I would catch a ride home with Scratch’s mother because Bull would hang out afterwards at the house with the older guys and Blue. I couldn’t hang out because I had school or work early. I guess Sapper hung out with them too, because I never saw him leave. Scratch and I would talk about the game on the car ride home. While I would bring up what happened in game, Scratch would talk about what happened at the game. He pointed out that at the table, Bull would always try to sit next to Blue. Early on, there was a musical chair game every night with all the players shifting chairs. Eventually, Blue nestled between the DM and Fox and Bull would sit across from her.
Fox and Bull would get into arguments often. Fox would try to do something and Bull would spout rules, real world physics, or any other reasons why he couldn’t do that. They started to go at it until Sapper or DM would get them to calm down and move ahead. Bull would do his bonus thing where he would be in a tree, shooting an arrow at an enemy, and he would roll and call out a ridiculous number. DM would ask where he came up with the number, and Bull would start listing:
Weapon Specialist: +1 Dex Bonus: +4 Elf: +1 Master work bow: +1 Master work arrows: +1 Higher ground: +2 Sun behind you: +1 Taking time for the shot: +3 Elevated Position: +2 Hated Enemy: +2
DM cut him off and said “Higher Ground and Elevated Position are the same thing, you aren’t a ranger, and I still want to see where the hell you are finding these BS bonuses. And I don’t even want to hear you say “Dragon Magazine”. Then we would have to wait 20 minutes for Bull to rifle through books and try to find (or pretend to find) where he found the bonuses. One time Scratch said, “You take the time to write down the bonuses, why don’t you write down where you found them so we don’t have to wait for you to find them. “ Bull, snapped at him and barked “F$&* you”! Sapper told him to calm down, that he was a kid. To which, Bull replied “You aren’t my father!” DM told both Bull and Scratch to relax or the game would stop. Bull calmed down and sulked when he couldn’t produce all of the extra bonuses. Blue tried to console him and point out he still hit his target, but he still acted upset.
Things came to a head one day when in an earlier game, Blue was captured in game after she fell in battle and in the subsequent mission, the rest of the party went to save her. Despite Bull’s best efforts, Fox got to her first and had his swashbuckling, two sword flipping, and dashing rescue moment. He even got to scoop her up and swing on a rope to get her out of harm’s way with me sending a fireball at the enemies chasing them so they had an explosion to swing away from! They landed and had an in game kiss, which…they….also…did IRL. Fox, swept her up and laid one on her. Blue was definitely surprised, but she clearly reciprocated the kiss. My jaw dropped. Scratch immediately turned to Bull and blurted out, “OOO, that has to sting!” I saw Bull start shaking. He stood up and started screaming at the DM. “There’s no way he could do that. He killed like 8 guys single handed!” Scratch pointed out that He, Sapper, and I all helped or buffed him with spells or arrows. Even Bull shot and killed one of Fox’s attackers. Bull, knocked over his large soda as he was complaining, and Sapper immediately got up to get paper towels from the kitchen.
Bull started in on Fox, claiming he lied on his initiative rolls and exaggerated his movement to get to her. DM said, “Fox rolls on the table in front of us, and we are tracking movement on the grid. There’s no way he could have cheated”. “BullSht! You are covering for him! You both are trying to make me look bad, you’ve been doing it all campaign!” Scratch interjected “You don’t need their help to look bad.” Bull screamed again “F&% you, you little sht!” Fox admonished Scratch with a glance, but glared at Bull. Blue stepped in, “Bull, calm down, please.” Bull turned on her, “And you let him kiss you! Come on, let’s get out of here!!!” She said, “What? No, I’m …” DM spoke up, “Dude, you need to leave, now. “Scratch, who was smiling at the action, chimed in “Yeah, get lost, a$$h!e!!”
With that, I saw Bull’s hand reach into pocket, I pulled Scratch behind me in an act that, at the time, I didn’t understand why I doing it. Fox stepped back with Blue as DM moved around the table. Bull produced a pocket knife and turned toward DM as he flicked it open. DM pulled a chair in front of him and yelled something like, “DAAA!” Before I knew it, Sapper was rushing into the room. He grabbed Bull’s hand and twisted it hard inward toward Bull’s chest. I heard the knife fall and I saw Bull swing and hit Sapper on his ear. Sapper yanked Bull’s arm behind him and grabbed the back of his neck. He them slammed Bull on the table, (crushing some miniatures) and then slid him onto the floor. There was some wrestling on the floor and Fox and DM rushed over. I couldn’t see what was happening because I backed away and found myself in the corner of the room standing next to Blue. Scratch had slipped out to the other corner to watch the fight. I saw Fox pick up the knife and Sapper barked at him to put it on the table. Sapper then said to DM, “Go get my handcuffs, they are on my belt.” DM ran off through the back door and Sapper directed Fox on how to pin down Bull’s legs. He then told Blue to call the police. After hearing that, Bull stopped cursing and started saying “Ok, Ok, I’m good, I’ll just go. “ Sapper said “Oh, you’re going alright….” Bull pleaded with him, but Sapper kept him down until DM came back with a pair of handcuffs. Like real police handcuffs. Sapper puts them on him and stood him up. He searched him like a cop would and then commanded Bull to sit down in a chair. Sapper then looks at DM and asks, “You ok, son?” to which DM responds.” Yeah, Dad. “
My jaw dropped. It was like that scene at the end of “Usual Suspects”. As Sapper was asking everyone if they were ok, memories started flashing before me. I never realized just how oblivious I was. Here’s a list of revelations that hit me while I was standing there waiting for the police.
First, Sapper was DM’s father. He lived in the big house. That’s why I never saw him leave. That’s why DM would sometimes call him “pops”, he wasn’t being insulting, he was just talking to his dad!
Second, the reason Sapper told Scratch and I not to mess with Bull, was that he was aware there was something wrong with Bull. I didn’t really pay too much attention to Bull when he would drive me to the game, but he talked a lot about how he and Blue had a relationship, I assumed he was telling the truth. I thought Bull was angry because Fox kissed his girl. Obvious to everyone but me, that wasn’t the case. Sapper was aware of Bull’s delusions and he asked Scratch and I to stop messing with him because he just didn’t want us aggravating the situation. Which brings me to the third thing.
Fox and Blue were actually and item! Scratch later filled me in that he figured out they started dating around the same time we moved the game to the house. Their relationship progressed to the point where they were spending the day together and he was taking her home. Or maybe she was staying there. Either way, that’s why Bull wasn’t driving her to game or home. It seemed that she was so nice that she didn’t want to overtly show off their relationship because she didn’t want to upset Bull.
Fourth thing…..Bull was bat crap crazy!!! He apparently was delusional. He truly believed he and Blue were in a relationship, despite all evidence to the contrary. After all this was done, we all sat down and they discussed everything that happened. Apparently, he been asking Blue out since they met and she had been letting him down, but she still was happy to be his friend. Recently, Fox had a conversation with Bull where he broke it to him that he and Blue were an item. Bull apparently told him he was still going to chase after her saying “Let the best man win.” Sometime after that conversation, Bull got it in his head that he and Blue had some kind of relationship. When he saw Fox kiss Blue, he truly thought Fox was kissing “his” girl. Which is why he snapped.
Which brings me to the fifth and final thing. Sapper was a cop. He lived in the big house like I mentioned, and that’s why he was leery about moving the game to the house. He lived there with DM’s Step-mother and another son and daughter who was several years younger than DM. He told DM that they had to hold the games in the in the guest house where he was living with Fox. He also wasn’t too happy about having a minor come over but he and DM talked to Scratch’s mom and later to his father at length. I was always nervous around cops back then…..for…reasons…. but I realized that he was just a regular guy, a guy who was into the same things I was into. Well, ……..not everything I was into.
So this whole internal revelation montage ended, when I heard the sirens of police cars. I was worried about where my backpack was…for ….reasons. They came in and started asking what was going on. Bull started screaming about how his father was a high ranking police officer from the next county over and how they had to let him go immediately. The police got statements from everyone, including me. They arrested Bull and took him away. We all were standing around when Fox apologized to everyone thinking that his actions caused all the problems. Blue apologized because she didn’t realize just how much Bull was into her. Scratch apologized because he thought his teasing pushed him over the edge. I apologized because I just didn’t realize how bat crap crazy Bull was and I never told anyone about his conversations with me. Sapper apologized because he knew we shouldn’t have let Bull play with us. He had a conversation with the store owner who told him that Bull was prone to fits of anger. The owner told him he had calmed down over the years after he suspended him from the store a few times. But the owner still saw that anger bubble out sometimes. DM finally spoke up and said it was his fault. He convinced his dad to bring the game here and allow Bull to play. He said he should have listened to his dad’s intuition. When all was said and done, we all agreed to take a couple weeks off so DM could retool the campaign since Bull’s character was not going to be there anymore.
Sapper, DM, Fox, and Blue went out to tell Scratch’s parents what had happened. She was shocked and according to Scratch, she needed those two weeks to be convinced to let him play at DM’s house again. I saw how upset she was so I didn’t ask for a ride. Sapper offered to take me home, but I politely declined…….for…..reasons and I took the bus. We started up again and DM stated Bull’s character fell during Blue’s rescue.
Bull apparently showed up a day later to get his car. Sapper stood outside and watched him as he got dropped off and he jumped in without a word. Bull got charged and his family got him a great lawyer that got the charges reduced. I’m not sure if he served time, but I heard he got a ton of community service. We added and subtracted people to our group over the next couple of years we played together. Eventually, my original group started playing D&D again and I decided I would play with the two groups.
Years later, I lost touch with Scratch, but through the magic of Facebook, I still talk to the old group. Blue and Fox dated for several years, but eventually parted ways and got married to other people. DM is living with his husband, (another thing I didn’t notice.) I’m actually still very close to Sapper. He was kind of a mentor to me and got me to drop certain…habits, and go into his line of work after I finished school. Now with the advent of online table top gaming, DM is putting together a reunion game using Fantasy Grounds. I’m really looking forward to getting to play with my old friends again.
submitted by NemoWatches to rpghorrorstories [link] [comments]


2020.10.27 19:00 FourSeasonsLodge 9 Crucial Ingredients for a Memorable Family-Friendly Reunion

9 Crucial Ingredients for a Memorable Family-Friendly Reunion
Family-Friendly Reunion

How To Plan An Amazing Family Reunion

10/27/2020
Planning a family reunion at a North Conway, NH can be stressful, annoying, and awful...but they typically lead to some great laughs and wonderful memories!
Once you figure out the details and plan a family reunion, it's on to enjoying time with loved ones that you don't typically get to see very often.
Family reunion vacations in North Conway, NH come in all shapes and sizes. I have hosted some family reunions with 4 generations represented and others are adults only.
Every type of family reunion has it's own challenges and rewards. CONTACT US FOR MORE INFOLet's face it, some of your family members are folks you don't even like. It's really hard if one of those people are the family elders! There's nothing like a mad Granny but on the other hand, most grandmothers are happy just to see their kids and grandkids.

My Incredible 30 Year History of Family Reunions

​I've been renting my New Hampshire cabin rental called Four Seasons Lodge for almost 30 years.
​Most of the wonderful groups have been family reunions celebrating a milestone birthday or anniversary.I was always in charge of organizing the large family reunion get-togethers of the year in my family so I feel your pain in planning a family reunion.
I always say that trying to get a group of people together is like herding cats!
What makes it even worse is getting them to agree on dates, location of the family reunion, amenities of the venue, and scads of other decisions!

Teena - A Little Bit OCD and a Dash of Rock and Roll!

I jokingly tell everyone that calls for information about Four Seasons Lodge that you and I have the same kind of personalities.
I mean it too!
Think about it, you're reading this because you are in charge of finding a North Conway vacation rental that will make multiple personalities smile!
Sound like an impossible task? Nah, not for someone like you that has a touch of OCD, is a task master, is high energy, and loves to have a fabulous time.
You have all the skills to "git 'er done" and I'm just the gal to help you!
I want you to get past the planning part with as few hitches as possible and onto the enjoying part. That way you are ready to go down memory lane while simultaneously creating new memories with your family.
Family reunions can be the bane of our existence if we allow them to get the better of us, but that doesn't mean they are.
From that one grumpy, crazy Uncle to Auntie OCD we have to juggle several balls just to spend time with these crazy people.
​And why? Why do we subject ourselves to such tortures? Because they are our family and that should be a good enough reason. ​In this day and age we all lead extremely busy lives and our family members move all over the place.
That means you see much less of each other as time goes by and family reunions rarely get planned--and no one wants that! Or maybe you do, I don't know you so who am I to say?
​But you have to see them at some point and with a family reunion you can get it all out of the way at once!

Reasons for Planning Family Reunions

No matter what your reason is, you have made it a point to see your family--so make it enjoyable.
Yeah, this could include chosen and un-chosen family, family you adore and family you don't really get along with... but nevertheless they are important people in your life.
Take this time to mend old arguments, create new arguments, or just spend some sincere quality time with your loved ones.
Before I begin to list off all of the why's and how to's of planning a family reunion here is one of the most important things to keep in mind: add humor.
Add humor often and whenever possible.
​You're there to enjoy each other! Not to have arguments, land disputes and will readings. Or maybe you are there for those things, in which case some lightheartedness will be much appreciated. Most family reunions celebrated at Four Seasons Lodge are milestone birthdays or anniversaries.
Sometimes though, they are planned to celebrate a family member's life and love while that family member is still alive or has recently passed.
​Not all family reunions are created out of happiness. Unfortunately, we all fall on hard times but those hard times are the best reason to get together as a whole. CONTACT US FOR MORE INFO📷Old Fashioned Family Reunion

The Surprising Reason Why You Must Hold A Family Reunion

Love of course! Why else would we subject ourselves to spending time with our families?
Familial love is a thing to be celebrated, cherished and enjoyed! Even with all of the crazies and loonies that we have in our families, and believe me that does not exclude yourself, we have to celebrate the love that is there!
​So get over yourself and your petty disputes and cherish one another. You only have one life to live so make it enjoyable and surround yourself with love. Speaking of loonies and crazies... the women on my mothers side of the family, including my dear mother herself, believed that everyone in the world was weird--except them. They honestly believed that they were normal. HA! Yeah right! My family is filled with just as many wackadoos as any other and that includes the women!
Now, I'm pretty sure I convinced my mother otherwise but my grandmother, God rest her soul, carried that belief straight to her grave. Don't get me wrong she was an amazing woman but that does not exclude her from being a big ol' weirdo like the rest of us.
And yes, us means you as well. Don't kid yourself like all of the loony women in my family--we're all weird!
​Besides, who wants to be normal? It sounds boring.As I mentioned before there are plenty of reasons to bring your own Army of Maniacs together to party.
We already went over the more sad or sentimental reasons so now we're on the fun ones!
One main reason to plan a family reunion is to give all of the kids a chance to get to know their more distant relatives; aunts, uncles, cousins etc. Without this type of special bonding the kids might feel estranged from their family.
Maybe they'll keep the tradition going because they'll have created such fond memories together! This could be your legacy!
The second reason is to mercilessly judge any new family members... no, no not the babies you monster!
Spouses, girlfriends, boyfriends, fiances, and maybe your third cousins yippie Pomeranian are awaiting your judgement.
It's always exciting to welcome new family members to your clan and family reunions are great opportunities to do that. They can meet and fall in love with your family or you can decide you dislike them and promptly scare them off.
Once upon a time, I had a boyfriend visit my sister with me and we ate lobster, which he never had before, and it scarred him for life.
​My sister laughs about it to this day because he was so offended. Besides, how do you grow up in New England and never eat lobster? I digress...To sum all of that up: family reunions are great for seeing relatives you never see, new relatives, potential new relatives or it's just for the kids.
​No matter what the reason is reunions make for good stories, memories and maybe a few solid migraines.
So, whether your family reunions are an annual gathering, a spontaneous venture, or to celebrate an important family members birthday or anniversary you are there because of love![PLAN YOUR REUNION](https://www.fourseasonslodge.com/)

How Do I Even Begin to Plan a Family Reunion?

Step one is complete. You have your reason... or maybe you don't.
Either way you've read all the way to step two so you are undoubtedly inspired and just like every good book character you desire something.
And true to it's word, just like every good author, life makes your desire ridiculously difficult to attain--or they kill you. Authors love killing their beloved characters and as readers we all cry and throw our books at walls.
​Planning a family reunion might make you cry and throw things too but you can do it! I promise that it isn't impossible.
Step two is figuring out how exactly to organize the chaos--and I am here to help! Now step two is really a bunch of steps tied together so hold onto your hats. 1. First and foremost start early.
Everyone and their mother, possibly including your own, will have conflicts and complaints.
The earlier you begin to plan your family reunion the easier it will be for everyone to prepare both mentally and physically. It's easier to ask for work off and which soccer games the kids might miss if you give out potential dates early on.
I suggest taking a poll and giving three options for dates to see how many people agree to which one.
  1. Some are born to lead and some are born to follow.
Find the Virgos, Leos and Aries in your group and dub them team captains!
​Try to make sure they are people who work well together because you don't want to deal with more arguments than you have to. So choose wisely and in the words of The Hunger Games, "May the odds be ever in your favor."3. Pick the right destination for your reunion.
This can be one of the more difficult decisions when it comes to planning large group getaways. You want everyone to be happy, the space/location to be enjoyable, and you want to make sure there is plenty of room for everyone.
Is your family full of outdoorsy people? Owners of RV's and state-of-the-art camping equipment? Does everyone love outdoor sports? Are they history fanatics, shoppers or foodies? Or even better, are they introverts who just want to read a book laying by the lake, sitting in a ski lodge, or just in any big comfy chair they can find? Say what you will but they are the easiest ones to accommodate.
Realistically, you'll have more than one type of person in your family--especially if you have a very large family.
​You have to find a destination that will suit the majority and you and your team captains (who should be decisive people) can work together to make the final decision. 4. Choose the right accommodations for your group.
I've said it before and I'll say it more: family reunions are like herding cats.
Even professionals get eaten! Laugh all you want but if your house cat was bigger it would've killed you already. Trust me, it's science!
Anyway, as you know, cats are impossible to herd. Just try it, I dare you! They're lone rangers, independent, and judgy creatures. Just Youtube people trying to walk their cats! You'll get sucked into a Youtube hole and be entertained for hours. Whether you waste time on Youtube or not, cats are impossible and so is your family... NOT.
You can herd your family if you're assertive and up to dealing with their BS.
Finding accommodations for large groups is difficult--but not impossible.
Once you pin down your location you have already made your job a little easier. Now you have to research and choose between the accommodations that are available in the area. You can pick camping, a hotel, motel, or a vacation rental.A great thing to weigh-in when you're choosing a spot to stay is meals.
How close do you need to be to restaurants? Who has different diets and allergies that you need to be aware of? Are you trying to cook throughout your reunion?
Plan now! Don't be lazy and wait until the last minute. Planning your food options beforehand will help you decide what type of accommodations you might need.
If you plan on cooking you'll know to get a spot with a large kitchen or grilling area.
If you plan on eating out for every meal than a hotel can easily suffice your needs.
Camping means you need solid equipment and food prepared way beforehand--and for such a large group that is a whole other step. Is that something you want to deal with?
​Who would be in charge of meals? It all needs to be weighed in while you're figuring out where you want to stay. 5. Consider childcare options.
Do you need to keep the gremlins fed well before midnight and under constant supervision? Or are their older kids and grandparents who are perfectly capable of babysitting? Although, grandparents may feed them after midnight because they're trying to spoil them... so be careful!
​Luckily, you will most likely have an adult/teenager that doesn't want to partake in an activity because they're too cool for it. If that's not the case (because they're trying to enjoy themselves too) then do preliminary research on your outside-of-the-family options.
Don't be that rude planner who just leaves the kids in the parents arms. They deserve a break!6. Be the Leslie Knope (from the brilliant show Parks and Recreation) of the trip and have color-coded binder that hold your itinerary.
Take a poll from your family or ask them what they'd like to do and give them a deadline. Or just ask the team captains! OR be a control freak, ask no one anything, and decide what the family itinerary is.
Personally, I pick control freak just because it seems the easiest. Then the others can complain and try to add stuff and you can bulldozer over them and ignore everyone.
No, I'm joking. Next-to-no-one is ever happy if you choose this option.
​Be inclusive but organized and decisive. 7. Don't ask for permission, ask for forgiveness!
Be assertive, decisive and maybe a little OCD but remember that it is of utmost importance to be mindful of others. Make decisions but remember to ask for forgiveness and forgive others.
Don't create any unnecessary hostility during your family reunion.
There's already going to be a potential for drama--rivalries, kids getting in trouble, in-laws, new boyfriends/girlfriends, you name it!
​Be forgiving. 8. How long should you be cooped up with a ton of people you don't always get to see?
What a tough question to answer. Personally, I believe the shorter the better. I mean, not less than 24 hours because you still need to enjoy each other, but don't overdue it.
Your overzealous need for some down time should not cloud your judgement. I know you want to dedicate your entire week to your family but it isn't recommended.
The best amount of time to be cooped up in "crazy-ville" is about three days.
​That's not just my own advice. Ninkovich says that "your next reunion will benefit if you leave them wanting more."📷Family Reunion Games - Bubbles!9. Last but not least, on our ninth step of step two is figuring out what to do!
Things to do during a family reunion are the toughest things to plan.
The ultimate question besides why am I related to these lovely wackos is what can we all do together to create wonderful memories for years to come?
Talk about pressure. I don't know about you put I'm a sucker for team games. It's me and my husband against the world and we love winning! Pictionary, Taboo, Cranium, Family Feud--all of these games are great options to beat your annoyingly competitive cousins from North Carolina.
A cheap, no fuss, ice breaker is to pass out small bottles of bubbles and head outside to load the air with bubbles!
​I bet you'll have tons of fun plus you'll get some great pictures too!Whenever no one wanted to play games my cousin and I would play a card game called Spit. It's a great thing to do when killing time during awkward family visits.
We could play an entire game in 2 minutes flat and leave with some red palms from slapping the cards too hard...but it was always worth it.
Spit is a great game to have a tournament for or to play while everyone else is being poopy. All you need are two decks of cards and one willing opponent.
Another great thing to do is create a family trivia game.
Send a questionnaire to all of your family members to gather intel. During the reunion split everyone into groups and play the game! Get creative and make it fun.
​You might learn something new about your beloved family members--but that doesn't mean you will like the information, so be wary![CONTACT US](https://www.fourseasonslodge.com/)
How To Get People Off Their Phones And Talking With Each Other
I'll let you in on a secret here, if you're vacationing at Four Seasons Lodge there's an easy way to have everyone looking up instead of down. Flip our hidden switch to turn off the WiFi and you'll have your kids or partner engaging in fun because they cannot get on Facebook!
​When I check the Lodge after folks check-out, the WiFi switch is usually turned off. Go figure. HA!If you've picked a gorgeous location like North Conway, NH to host your family reunion, plan ahead so you have family friendly activities planned that even the "gamers" will enjoy.Is it beautiful outside?
Put on some comfy boots or sneakers, pack a lunch, and go for a hike.
If your gang isn't in the best physical shape, plan ahead and research hikes that are on the flatter and shorter side or just go for a walk.
​Bring a camera and take lots of photos because cousin Emma may never accept a hiking invite again!Do you have some water rats on your invite list? See if there's anywhere to rent tubes or kayaks and plan a lazy day on a river somewhere.
​I'll be you'll find a rope swing along your journey - challenge grumpy Uncle Ed to try it out. Get that camera ready!
Or just rent Four Seasons Lodge and enjoy our heated, indoor pool! But I digress... Family reunioning in a winter wonderland?
Take a poll to see if folks would rather snowshoe, ski, snowmobile or ice skate.
​Usually you can get group rates with a group size starting at 10 folks. That's a great way to save money so you can all have a beverage or two after you work your flabby muscles past the point of no return.If your gang is into team sports, get out there and play ball! Kickball, dodge ball, volleyball, soccer, whatever!
Get outdoors and sweat. Burn off those calories from your moms famous brownies. If ball games aren't your favorite and you're trying way too hard to be the "cool uncle" then make a slight shift to water balloons.
A good old fashioned water balloon fight is way better when you add teams and super soakers and believe me, as the "cool aunt", I'm just speaking from experience. It's more of a water war than a water balloon fight in my family and it is worth it on a hot summer day!
​Have buckets of "ammo" on each side of the playing field and have everyone start in the middle. If you have trees and obstacles to hide behind it just elevates the fun.Another great outdoor activity to do is a scavenger hunt.
You can be an overachiever, like me, and make it super difficult but highly rewarding by stashing a hundred dollar bill somewhere and whoever finds it keeps it!
Or if only the adults are playing then you can hide little alcohol bottles (nips as we call them here in New England), or candy if it's the kids.
​You can make a scavenger hunt as basic or intricate as you wish. You can have everyone work individually or in teams but no matter what make sure there is a fun prize at the end! Incentive boosts morale.
You could even make it native to the area like having them find a type of leaf, fire wood, or wild mushrooms. And if you're like me than you can stash riddles everywhere. Just tell them their first clue and they're off!Do you have a family full of talent? Or at least a group that's overly-confident?
Put on a talent show! Your own crazy uncle can sing an inappropriate song, your cousin can dance and you can enjoy a bunch of stand up comedy full of dad jokes by you-know-who.
It doesn't matter if there is genuine talent, no talent, or a mix of both. A family talent show will create memories to last a lifetime.
Plus, maybe you'll create a tradition to embarrass the young ones for years to come.
I live for embarrassing the young ones! That's the main reason I added a Karaoke machine to my New Hampshire cabin rental called Four Seasons Lodge.
You should hear folks belting out a tune (badly) and everyone laughing! If you want more equally embarrassing, but equally fun games to play, then invest in Speak Out. You've probably seen it on Ellen. It's the game with the funny mouth pieces and it's hilarious!
Another great awkward game is one you can make at home. The Banana Game is an absolute riot!
Have the willing victims make a line, tie a string around their waist with a banana tied to it (make sure the string is long enough for it to almost touch the ground) and the players have to use the bananas to hit the ball across the finish line.
​It'll give you memories to last a lifetime!A good old fashioned egg race is another great homemade game!
Pick partners and give them two spoons and an egg. The first runner puts the egg on their spoon, puts the spoon in their mouth and runs to their teammate without dropping the egg. Once they reach their partner they have to transfer the egg to their teammates spoon before they run to the finish line. The first one across it wins!
I once played it more like a relay race but on horseback. You had to go around a barrel and, thankfully, the spoon was just in your hand. Another great way is to blindfold one person and then you have to guide them with your voice. SAVE MONEY CONTACT TEENA
3 Reasons To Host a Family Reunion In A New Hampshire Cabin Rental
I know you've been to reunions where everyone has their own hotel/motel room or cabin but I'm going to explain the benefits of renting a huge lodge or vacation rental and having the whole place to yourself.
1. Kitchen Yes, I said it. A Kitchen. You don't know me but I am a terrible cook, don't care much about food, but love to watch people cook.
When I'm part of a family reunion, I'm the one sitting there chatting with those that are sequestered to the kitchen to whip up something delicious.
I'm at the ready if they need someone to hold a strainer so they can pour in the spaghetti or chop a veggie or two so they can attend to the stir fry.
I love watching people do things they are skilled at. I could NEVER take a few veggies and a dob of meat and present my hungry family with a stir fry creation!
That's really not the most important reason to rent a venue with a kitchen. In no particular order, here are my thoughts:
  • save money on eating out
  • little tykes won't get scolded for crying at a meal at home
  • people like me can take a tiny portion and keep the conversation going at the table
  • you don't have to listen to that stupid Muzak in a restaurant
  • allergy sensitive folks won't put themselves at risk
  • bring frozen meals like lasagna or chili to heat up
2. Save Money
Yes, save money! Add up 10 or so rooms in a resort and I know you can find a great vacation rental for much less.
Book directly with the owner of that vacation rental so you don't have pay Airbnb/VRBO/TripAdvisoetc their huge Service Fees.
Eat most meals at the venue rather than dropping hundreds a day on meals.
3. More Bonding, Memories, Pictures, and Laughs
Last but certainly not least, the best memories are made at the end of the day reminiscing about the day's adventures!
​Gather round the fireplace or cuddle up on the couches and tell stories, reminisce, listen to Grandma's stories, and get to know new and old relatives!
If you all head back to a hotel room every night because there's no place where the whole family (including infants) to gather and relax, you are missing out on some special memories.
Lastly, all the awesome games I described above won't get played. I'm NOT a game person but when someone coerces me to play, I always have a fantastic time!I bought Four Seasons Lodge as the result of planning many family reunions.
I know the headaches, the joys, and the fruits of hard labor that come with getting your entire family into one place.
Look what came out of mine? I found our prime location and bought it!
But I still want to share it with others who may be struggling to find their space like me and that's how I came to have the business I have today.
​My NH cabin rental is not for sale, but it may be the perfect place for your family vacation. The showpiece of the entire Lodge is our heated INDOOR pool! It's heated to 81 degrees year-round and even grumpy old Uncle Ed will enjoy a swim after dinner.
Does everyone want their own private space? Perfect, we have 10 bedrooms with sleeping for the 20 fun relatives you plan to invite to your family reunion!
Located in North Conway, NH, Four Seasons Lodge is set in a perfect location (in my opinion anyway). It's tucked in a private spot off a scenic byway, minutes to world class outlet shopping, great restaurants, 7 awesome ski resorts, and great hiking.
We are locals and live, work, and play in the White Mountains. Hit us up if you need suggestions of things to do in North Conway or check out our blogs.
I love to say to folks that are tearing their hair out trying to please everyone in their family by choosing the BEST possible venue for their family reunion - RELAX!
Memories that last a lifetime will be made by everyone and they have you to thank for bringing all of them together!
Give me a call and I'll do all we can to make your family reunion as smooth and painless as possible!
Feel free to contact me for more information about hosting a family reunion at Four Seasons Lodge.
https://www.fourseasonslodge.com/blog/how-to-plan-a-family-reunion-the-right-way
Teena ​ Four Seasons Lodge 31 Whiskiers Lane North Conway, NH 03860 ​ 603-662-5391
https://www.FourSeasonsLodge.com
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2020.10.27 18:27 bikesboozeandbacon [Looking For] Couple looking for 1 bed apt in Bedstuy/Crown Heights area $1800 budget.

Hi all!
More info about us here: I posted yesterday with some apt questions.
Looking for 1bed apt in Bedstuy (preferred) or Crown Heights (if it's close to Atlantic/Fulton St). My BF works in Clinton Hill - that's another area we are looking but I know it's out of our budget - but we would prefer if it's about 20-30 min walking to his job (he currently lives 2 blocks away from his job). I'm on bike so I don't have any specifications, but we narrowed the intended area down to Bedstuy/Crown Heights/Clinton Hill.
We don't need to be in a trendy area, once it's safe, it's not rat infested, and the ceiling won't collapse.
I know there's lots of covid pricing happening at the moment so we are hoping to snag a deal before the year is up.
We prefer a large bedroom and separate living room (not a living room inside the kitchen). I know it's being picky with the budget but I know a true living room exists, I've seen listings on Streeteasy, I just prefer to go through reddit as I'm afraid of sketchy scammy listings.
Bonus but not important - roof access/pets ok (we don't have any pets but having the option is a bonus, but not necessary).
NO brokers please unless the landlord is paying you, we probably already have to pay for a guarantor service.
If you PM please let me know as I rarely check my messages.
Thanks :)
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2020.10.27 16:25 Throwaway_gay3 I want my sister to stop hating me for going through conversion therapy. What should I do?

When I came out of the closet at 12 years old (to my mother at the kitchen table), she the first and only thing she told me was “we are going to fix this.” This began a six year war in conversion therapy, where I was tortured and raped and mentally abused. In brief, I was forced to have sex with a middle-aged female “sexual healer” as a minor. They duct taped my hands to tables and put ice on them for long periods of times while they forced me to look at pictures of guys holding hands, to associate the pain in my hands with men touching me (side-note, this was extremely effective, I still flinch when my husband hugs me sometimes).
During this time, I was a constant and habitual liar about myself... to my family. I pretended to be straight while dating a guy. I pretended to be Christian when in reality I was an atheist. I lied about going to study when I was going to my boyfriend’s. I lied about my report card (as you can imagine, I was a pretty depressed dude and didn’t really do well in school, going to “therapy” every weekday for multiple hours). I lied about pretty much everything to make my parents believe I was “changing”. And, because I was a literal child, I was “caught” in my lies all the time, and my parents used to tell me constantly how they didn’t “trust” me and that I wasn’t “trying” hard enough to be straight. My sister began to parrot what they told me, indicating at every turn she thought I was a no-good liar.
My sister is four years older than me. She only spent two years living with me during the torture, and left for college right as it was getting really bad (ice, rape, etc). And my parents are much better at lying than I was, so they projected that life was great to everybody else, my sister included. Therefore, my sister believes that the rape from that time period wasn’t that hard and doesn’t believe I was tortured. She also believes that she was neglected due to my parents’ attention on me.
I joined the military at 18 and that was my ticket out of that situation. I served 8 years, made a lot of friends, got a few standard medals, got minorly hurt, came back to the United States. I moved far away from my parents, got married, and am living a very happy life.
Here is where I am asking for advice. When my sister got married, I went to her wedding (it was the first time I had seen her in years). One of the groomsmen was gay and in the military. We hit it off, shared some military and gay stories. He relayed those stories to my sister. She told him that she didn’t believe I served in the military, thinking my entire life was a charade and that I will do anything for attention. The guy came back to me and asked me about it. I showed my ID to him and that was that. But my sister believes that I have hoodwinked him (also, bizarrely, she thinks all my military friends from that time period are fake [even though my husband has obviously known lots of them], my pictures/ID are staged/fake, and I’ve been lying to my husband of 8 years about all this).
My BIL is... maybe?... on my side. My sister told her husband that she doesn’t believe I was raped or tortured. So my BIL went to my mother and just straight up asked. My mother confirmed that they had hired the sexual healers and showed him a copy of some of the checks they used to pay for the service. He was shocked about this and asked me about it. I told him the truth. My BIL told me that whenever he told her about it, she indicated that she doesn’t believe it was “that bad” and that even if that particular element of my childhood was true, I must now be exaggerating for effect. (Although I will note that outside of the context of this post, I have almost never mentioned this past to anyone.)
I think maybe the problem at the root of this is that my sister hasn’t known me as an honest adult. She believes that the adolescent lies I told my parents to try and diminish my torture sessions equates to who I am as an adult. Also, I think she harbors jealousy over the “attention” I received as a child.
I don’t want her to hate me anymore. It makes all family functions really awkward and I don’t want her relaying her bias to her children, my niece and nephew. Every time I am in person with her, we hug and fake smile our way through everything, but we don’t connect or click at all. My mother has suggested telephone therapy (I live on the opposite side of the country, obviously), but that’s never happened.
I am 32yo now. She is 36yo. I know we aren’t going to be best friends. We probably aren’t going to like each other. But I want her to actively stop hating me and telling random strangers that I am a hardened liar who has made a conman-level series of untruths about my career and general life. Have any of you had anything like this with your families? Any advice or just general thoughts? More pointedly: how can I have at least a neutral relationship with someone I don’t like with this kind of history?
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2020.10.27 01:27 newusercali [listing][lease assignment][short-term lease] [no fee] ~1100 Sqft 2bd 2ba in luxury high rise building in downtown BK

[listing][lease assignment][short-term lease] [no fee] ~1100 Sqft 2bd 2ba in luxury high rise building in downtown BK
Hey Reddit!
I'm looking for someone to take over my lease in a luxury doorman building in downtown Brooklyn.
Move in : Flexible around late Nov 2020/Dec 2020/Jan 2021. I am offering 1 month free but price is negotiable depending on move in date!! just ask :)
Lease ends : 7/31/2021. You have an option to renew and negotiate with building management for additional concessions. In the summer you generally have more options... Perfect for someone looking for flexibility with short term lease as most luxury buildings with concessions will lock you in for 14 or 24 month leases.
My apartment is brand new and my family was the only resident since the unit was built. As you can see from the pictures (which i took on my iphone...) the rooms are huge, has a huge walk in closet in master, and has an amazing view of the city and brooklyn. Obviously got washer and dryer in unit, with beautiful bathrooms that have great water pressure (does anyone else care about this?). Kitchen has all stainless steel appliances with movable island which comes in handy. I am in my apt for majority of the time due to the pandemic (I WFH) and I'm always in awe of the view.. the view does not get any better than this! you can even see the ocean near JFK from my apt, in addition to all of the random fireworks that happen on the east river.
As far as the building, it's a full service building with an army of front desk, maintenance, and mailroom staff members. The building figured out the operation pretty well and it's maintained very well across the giant lobby, extensive amenities space (gym,pool,dog run, outdoor lounge, movie room, indoor lounge, skylounge on 53rd floor). Hand sanitizers everywhere and perfect to live during the pandemic. Wholefoods is 1block away that has great delivery, and Trader Joe's is also 3 blocks away if you don't mind waiting in line. There are so many restaurant delivery options that you don't even have to go outside for days... If you do want to go outside, the building is within walking distance to bk bridge park and the prospect park.
If you need additional info, I've written in below link a detailed description about the building and the apartment!
https://www.leasebreak.com/short-term-rental-details/254162/333-schermerhorn-street
If anyone is interested in my post please let me know. Also i am happy to answer general questions around the area (downtown brooklyn) and high rises in NYC, as I have been living in high rises for 10+ years. I found some posts in reddit helpful so also trying to be helpful for the community here! feel free to respond via thread or DM!

https://preview.redd.it/bcs8jj018jv51.jpg?width=1000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=908d91650d24b86877142518e55a5e3b4d307771
livingroom
bathroom2
kitchen
mater bed
master bath
2nd bedroom view
2nd bedroom
bathroom (same for both 1 & 2)
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2020.10.27 00:30 Jean_des_Esseintes Deep Dive into Facedrive (FD.V) - Short Thesis, Target $0.43

Quick Data

Current Price: $11.06
Shares Outstanding: 93,729,980
Market Cap: 1.037 billion
TTM Revenue: 0.91 million
Price/Sales: 1140x

Background

Facedrive is a ridesharing company that is designed to incentivize and empower the green and socially responsible consumer through the use of its carbon neutral ridesharing platform. The company was founded in January 2016 by Imran Ali Khan and Junaid Razvi but only became operational in late 2018. In August 2019 Facedrive completed a reverse take-over with High Mountain Resources and listed on the TSX Venture Exchange. Since listing on the TSX-V Facedrive has also completed a number of small acquisitions to expand its offerings both in the rideshare market and other "Facedrive Verticals".

Value Proposition

In its IPO filing statement issued 14 months ago Facedrive outlined a number of growth initiatives including:
As of today Facedrive has only achieved one of these objectives - entering the Ottawa market. In fact Facedrive has yet to expand out of Ontario with its operations limited to the Greater Toronto Area, Ottawa, Hamilton, London, Guelph, Kitchener, Waterloo, Cambridge and Orillia. Since the beginning Facedrive has been incredibly slow in rolling out their app to targeted cities. Despite being founded in January 2016 and receiving a Toronto license in 2017 the app only became operational in late 2018.
As for 3% market penetration Facedrive's gross revenue for the first 6 months of this year was $999 thousand. The rideshare market for Canada this year (adjusted for Covid) is $1.52 billion ( https://www.statista.com/outlook/368/108/ride-hailing-taxi/canada). Since Facedrive only operates in about 20% of Canada's markets, population adjusted, the current addressable market is closer to $300 million. Extrapolating Facedrive's gross revenue out to a full year would result in $2 million of revenue or less than 1% of market penetration.
But what about Covid? In the 2nd Q Lyft and Uber reported decreases in rideshare billings of 69% and 73% respectively. Meanwhile Facedrive's gross revenue dropped from $999 thousand in Q1 to $147 thousand in Q2, a drop of 85%. This signals that their market penetration is actually decreasing quarter over quarter.
Value proposition for riders? Facedrive's green initiative? The company began with the initiative to 1) offer electric vehicles); and 2) counter emissions from gas vehicles through an offset program. As of today there is nothing to differentiate Facedrive's offerings from its competitors as both Uber and Lyft now have electric vehicle options. There is no dedicated fleet of electric vehicles driving for Facedrive. Facedrive did donate $2,105 to Forests Ontario in Q1 2019 but there has been no mention of any offset program contributions since the company went public. The main benefit of rideshare programs is still convenience. For Facedrive to compete with Uber and Lyft they need drivers. At this point there are just not enough drivers to produce reasonable wait times. Reviews of the app consistently complain about wait times of up to half an hour. And with the green initiative not being robust enough to differentiate it from its competitors it is just not worth the time.
Value proposition for drivers? Over the last year Facedrive has paid out anywhere from 75% to 83% to drivers. This is slightly higher than Uber and Lyft which average around 75%. But not enough of an incentive for a driver to use Facedrive exclusively. I expect that pretty much all of the revenue Facedrive generates comes from drivers who use multiple platforms.
Conclusion: Facedrive has consistently failed to meet growth targets. Its current market penetration is less than 1% and possibly decreasing. There is no incentive for either drivers or riders to continue using the app when Uber and Lyft are perfectly suitable.

Facedrive Verticals

After its IPO Facedrive used a combination of cash and shares to acquire stakes in a number of other ventures which they plan to incorporate into their "ecosystem". Buzz words however do not make a company. None of these ventures generate significant revenue or offer much potential for growth so I'll only cover them briefly.

HiRide
This is a carpooling app similar to Poparide except no one uses it and it doesn't generate any revenue. There is also a trivia app HiQ which claims to be a social app that you can enjoy while social distancing (in your carpool?). HiQ claims to have 2 million downloads (Facedrive press releases all of the major milestones) and yet it doesn't rank in the Trivia category for both IOS and Google. I downloaded the app and played for 15 minutes. The app is beyond basic with the most elementary social element. I tired messaging some other players based on similar interests but no one responded. After 15 minutes of answering both outdated and at times repetitive trivia questions I was ranked 794th all time and earned $1. I am also 74th on the weekly list which leads me to believe the app has less than 100 active users. Reading the reviews on Google Play it is a combination of obvious fake reviews (multiple reviews showing up the same day with similar broken English) and people complaining they didn't get their money for answering the trivia questions.

Facedrive Marketplace
This launched in May and generated $7 thousand in revenue. The only products available are apparel from Westbrook Inc. (a content company affiliated with Will Smith). Facedrive partnered with Westbrook last year by purchasing a $1 million convertible note. In return they have the right to sell exclusive Westbrook products to their ridership. Curiously Facedrive failed to disclose at the time of the transaction that Westbrook Inc owned 192,338 shares in Facedrive at the time of its IPO. This is a recurrent theme - I give you shares, you give me shares.

Facedrive Foods + Food Hwy
Facedrive Foods consists of assets purchased out of bankruptcy from Foodora Canada. The cost was $500K. The assets Facedrive received were Foodora's restaurant and customer list. Customers however had to opt in through e-mail in order for their contact details to be released to Facedrive. Facedrive can not use Foodora's name nor did they acquire any of Foodora's technology. The Facedrive Foods app was developed from scratch and going by reviews it is not that good. The restaurants available are mostly second tier chains listed on pretty much all the food apps. On IOS the app is ranked #157 in the food category currently - they have no market penetration.
Food Hwy is probably the closest thing to a real business Facedrive has acquired. It is another food delivery app, quite niche as it caters to the foreign student market. Facedrive paid $9.1 million in cash and shares for Food Hwy. It expects it to generate $10.5 million in revenue in 2020. No mention of profit, growth rate, or its revenue from prior years. Just an expectation.

Facedrive Health
Facedrive Health is pretty much an app + wearable bracelet called TraceScan. Through bluetooth technology it can determine if you have come into contact with someone who has tested positive for Covid-19. Ontario already has a contact tracing app that works through bluetooth and can be downloaded onto one's mobile phone (no need for a bracelet). The official Ontario app only has 8% market penetration despite its ease of use. Facedrive is currently running a pilot with Air Canada for their bracelets but the market for these bracelets is so limited when the free Ontario app does a perfectly fine job in 99% of interactions.

Tally Technology
Facedrive invested $3 million in cash and shares in this sports prediction company founded by Russell Wilson. Tally's main asset TraceMe was sold last year to Nike. Nike had no interest in the tech that remains under the Tally umbrella. All the top execs at Tally also left for Nike so it is unclear at this point what potential the remaining assets have. https://www.playtally.com

Steer Holdings
An electric vehicle subscription platform based out of Washington D.C. Another company on the verge of bankruptcy where Facedrive offered up $3.25 million USD worth of shares and in exchange the parent company of Steer purchased $2 million USD worth of shares - I give you shares and you buy some of them back. Again no mention of revenue, profit margins, growth rates or anything in the press release. Just a bunch of buzz words concerning the total addressable market.

Key Management

Does Facedrive have the management in place to successfully take on the behemoths of Uber and Lyft? Or to penetrate fresh verticals and successfully create a socially responsible ecosystem?

Junaid Razvi
Co-Founder and Executive Vice President of Facedrive, Razvi currently owns 8,751,930 shares or 9.3% of Facedrive. Prior to founding Facedrive Mr. Razvi was the CEO of an IT company in the Middle East https://www.panarabia.ae . Not much else is known other than they have a horrible website.

Sayan Navaratnam
Current CEO of Facedrive and owns 32,395,180 shares or 34.75% of Facedrive. He assumed the position of CEO in March 2019 just prior to Facedrive's TSX-V listing application. Mr. Navaratnam at first glance has a respectable resume. He was CEO of A.C. Technical Systems, specializing in security and surveillance systems. From 2014-1019 he was the CEO Connex Telecommunications Corporation. He has an investment arm called the Malar Group which purchased control of both A.C. Technical and Connex. Between 2017 and 2019 Mr. Navaratnam and Malar also took a substantial stake in Facedrive. I suspect Mr. Navaratnam connected with the co-founder Mr. Razvi as they both worked in the IT telecommunications sphere. It appears Malar has an impressive portfolio of companies but most of them are subsidiaries of Connex. Both Mr. Razvi and Mr. Navaratnam are telecommunication and hardware experts who are trying to create a social enterprise digital ecosystem geared towards milennials. They are not millennials.

Heung Hung Lee
Current CFO of Facedrive. Ms. Lee has been working with Mr. Navaratnam since 2004 when she was the CFO of A.C. Technical Systems. She then became the CFO of Connex before taking the position at Facedrive. Ms. Lee has never been employed by a billion dollar corporation let alone been the CFO of one. Perhaps this position is too overwhelming as Facedrive has failed to file their last 2 quarterly financials on time.

Jay Wilgar
Jay Wilgar was appointed the chief strategy officer of Facedrive earlier this year. Formerly he was CEO of Newstrike Brands (cannabis company) and prior to Newstrike he was CEO of both a pharmaceutical and a renewable energy company. He has a history of building companies and selling them at opportune times. However he has no experience in technology and again has never been responsible for growing a billion dollar company.

And that's pretty much it for the brains of the company.

Shady Dealings


Mr. Navaratnam's Cash Cow
Prior to becoming a public company, Mr. Navaratnam was generating significant revenue for his companies by billing Facedrive for his companies' services. Mr. Navaratnam's companies under the Malar Group were responsible for not only developing the Facedrive app, but also providing customer and driver support, leasing office space, and marketing the app. Talk about an ecosystem! Here are some snippets from Facedrive's filings:
As at September 30, 2019, $917,236 (December 31, 2018 - $436,626) was due to Dynalync 2000 Inc., a related company controlled by our Chairman and Chief Executive Officer. The amount owing is a result of the related company providing consulting services and product development, and the amount is included in the Company’s trade payable. The total expenses charged to the Company for the nine months ended September 30, 2019 were $1,200,300 (2018 - $397,100), which were included in research and development expenses of $702,300 (2018 - $241,300) and operational support expenses of $505,000 (2018 - $155,700).
Facedrive also engages DependableIT through Dynalync, a related company controlled by Sayanthan Navaratnam, the CEO, director and co-founder of Facedrive, to provide call center services to Facedrive.
Facedrive subleases office space in Richmond Hill, Ontario, Scarborough, Ontario, North York, Ontario, Toronto, Ontario, Hamilton, Ontario and Kanata, Ontario from Connex pursuant to a sublease agreement dated April 1, 2019 for $5,000 per month plus applicable taxes.
Since Facedrive has gone public they have moved most of their operations in house and hired their own developers cutting off the related transactions. But what this does show is that Facedrive basically began as a vehicle for its CEO to enrich himself, not only through the issuance of cheap stock (more on that later) but also through Facedrive's expense account.

Stockhouse
There is a group of posters on Stockhouse that just post the same gibberish day in and day out. Their only posts are on rideshare and big tech bullboards. These are not typical Stockhouse pumpers who own shares as they show up at the same time each day and in collaboration each cover a different talking point. No rocket emojis or "to the moon" memes - just buzz terms taken from press releases spun in a positive light. And they don't discuss any other stocks. You can find some of them here https://stockhouse.com/members/shirleyarman https://stockhouse.com/members/tylermathew https://stockhouse.com/members/xavier https://stockhouse.com/members/tianaa https://stockhouse.com/members/richardsondilam
Their grammar and erudition are also very similar to the fake reviews on the app stores.

Stock Promotion
The most egregious example of Facedrive's stock promotion is their agreement with Medtronics Online Solutions. Supposedly this is an arm lengths company and yet Google returns nothing. Pursuant to a Consulting Agreement, Medtronics provided and performed marketing and strategic consulting services for and on behalf of Facedrive. In return Medtronics received $8.2 million worth of stock or 800,000 shares.
Medtronics may be responsible for not only market making services (propping up the share price) but also various paid promotion that Facedrive has been engaged in. An example, https://oilprice.com/Energy/Energy-General/The-30-Trillion-Trend-Thats-Bigger-Than-The-Entire-US-Stock-Market.html
You may have also seen Facedrive heavily promoted on Motley Fool as the next Uber or Tesla or whatever is in vogue that week.

Misleading Press Releases
Pretty much all of Facedrive's press releases are misleading or overly promotional in one way or another. Take for example the press release announcing the appointment of Jay Wilgar. The release states,
Mr. Wilgar launched renewable development firm AIM PowerGen Corporation (“AIM”) and built it and successor companies into energy projects worth approximately $2.5 billion before AIM was acquired by global renewable power firm International Power Canada (IPR-GDF Suez) in 2009
AIM was acquired by International Power in 2009 but not for anywhere near $2.5 billion. In fact AIM was acquired for USD $109 million https://www.evwind.es/2009/10/23/international-power-canada-acquires-aim-powergen-from-renewable-energy-generation/1936
Then there are the HiQ press releases, first announcing 250K downloads, then 500K downloads, then 1 million, then 1.5 million, and then 2 million. From the July 14th press release,
The App has ranked Top 10 Trivia App in over 100 countries, and ranked Top 10 App in over 50 countries. Additionally, HiQ has ranked as the Number 1 Trivia App in Bolivia, Ecuador, Egypt, Nepal, and Pakistan.
None of this is true. The app is lucky to have 100 active users. Furthermore there is no AI algorithm involved as is claimed nor is their any matching based on interests even though this would be incredibly easy to program. The suggested friends appears completely random.

True Value of Facedrive


Is it worth $1 billion?
The market, both private and public has never valued the company anywhere near $1 billion. Since 2017 Facedrive has issued stock at the following prices (all issues are split adjusted to correspond with the current share count, and converted to CAD):
2017
2018
2019
The shares issued at $1.58 were issued in connection with the amalgamation agreement (IPO). The shares issued at 39 cents were all shares for debt transactions.
Think about this for a second. 22,480,113 shares or 24% of the outstanding shares were issued at a price of 2 cents! The price today is $11.06. What has changed since these shares were issued other than Facedrive has failed to meet any growth objectives and its market penetration along with brand power has dwindled to pretty much irrelevance.

Why is Facedrive trading at a $1 billion market cap?
As at June 30, 2020, the Company had 85,593,657 Shares subject to contractual lock-up restrictions which will be released on a rolling basis beginning March 16, 2021. 15% of the shares will come out of lock up on March 16, 2021, and for each subsequent 3 months another 15% will become free trading until September 30, 2022 when the final 10% will be released. This leaves only about 8 million shares in the current public float. It does not take much to move the share price in either direction.
Secondly, Facedrive has been promoting the stock in absolute desperation. They have enlisted an army of users to promote the stock on Stockhouse; they have posted fake reviews on both the Apple and Google app stores; they have paid for promotion in various investing publications; they have hired a mysterious marketing company to provide services in exchange for $8.2 million worth of shares. And yet they have done nothing to actually make a dent into their main competitors. Since its listing Facedrive has been more concerned with propping up its share price through stock promotion than it has been promoting its actual business to end users.

But, but intangibles!
There are none. There is no genius at the helm; there is no disruptive tech; there is no vision. Facedrive's best chance for success was to carve out a niche in the sustainable ridesharing market - capture the 1% of people that would be willing to wait 30 minutes for a ride in an EV. Not a billion dollar proposition but maybe something. Instead they opted for an endless dictionary of buzz words and delusions of grandeur.

Conclusion
So what is Facedrive's true value? The core of their operations, the ridesharing app, has made virtually no progress since it was developed in 2017. The ridesharing market is indeed a duopoly, and despite Facedrive's worst efforts to promote itself as an eco-conscious alternative it has failed to resonate with its target audience. If Uber or Lyft would be generous enough to purchase Facedrive's customer base (the tech is worthless to them) they might pay 20x net revenue or $20 million.
Given that management has done nothing to grow the business and its business plan is non-existent at worst and schizophrenic at best, it is hard to ascribe any value beyond what Facedrive has paid for the distressed assets they have purchased this year. So maybe another $15 million here (being extremely generous).
Then there is cash on the balance sheet which as of today given the recent acquisitions and burn rate is maybe $5 million.
So $40 million total. This actually sounds like way too much money for what one is getting but it still only equals 43 cents/share. Facedrive is currently trading at $11.06. Even throwing in another $50 million margin of error would still result in a 90% return from a short position.


submitted by Jean_des_Esseintes to CanadianInvestor [link] [comments]


2020.10.26 16:26 Dr_Morrigan Dr. Morrigan's Case Files: Tobie's Bug Bite

Previous Case Files: Adelaide, Hannah, Anson, Ryan, Ryan's Addendum, Carrie
AUTHORITIES HAVE IDENTIFIED ALL 32 BODIES FOUND ON SALT CREEK PROPERTY! the headline read.
I pushed the paper away from me, not wanting to think about that night. It had been almost a month since it happened, but it still felt like yesterday to me. That is why I was currently sitting in a diner, eating breakfast on my way to Camp Curiosity. Paige, the owner of the camp is one of my oldest friends, and every year she tries to get me to come out and join them. When she called and asked if I could fill in for the current camp doctor, who had to leave unexpectedly, I agreed to help, happy to have something to do to distract me from my thoughts.
When I pulled up to the camp’s office an hour later, Paige stepped out with a huge smile on her face, waving her hand in greeting,
“How was the drive?” she asked, walking over to the car as I got out.
“Not too bad,” I replied, returning the smile as best I could.
“I can’t believe you’re finally here after all these years,” she declared, wrapping her arms around me.
“You know how work is,” I started to explain after she released me from the hug, but she cut me off with a wave of your hand.
“It doesn’t matter,” Paige said, “You’re here now.” I could tell she was excited to have me there.
I felt bad that I wasn’t able to share her enthusiasm.
“Grab your stuff,” she pointed at the car, “And I’ll show you where you’re staying.”
After taking my bags out of the trunk, I followed Paige to a small cabin situated at the back of the camp, not far from the lake. A large sign hung above the door, its faded red letters spelling out the word INFIRMARY.
Paige pulled out a set of keys and unlocked the door. “After you,” she said, gesturing for me to enter first.
The room I walked into was set up like an out of date hospital exam room, minus the sterile white walls. Everything in the place looked like it had been pulled out of a time capsule from the ’80s. The only modern thing I saw was the portable AED mounted on the wall by the door.
“Your room is through that door,” she pointed at the door across the infirmary, “Once you get situated, come back to the office and I’ll give you the official tour.” She handed me the set of keys she had used to open the door. “These keys unlock all of the doors in the camp,” she said before releasing the keys, “You and I are the only ones with a set, don’t let them out of your sigh.”
“I won’t,” I promised, closing my hand around the keys.
As Paige was about to walk out of the infirmary, she stopped and turned around, “Thanks again for doing this on such short notice,” she said.
“Anytime,” I replied with a smile.
“See you soon,” she said, closing the door as she left.
My room was about half the size of the infirmary. It reminded me of my dorm room from when I was in college with the exception that my dorm room didn’t smell like mothballs. The thought of moths and other bugs invading my privacy made me decide to leave my clothes packed in the suitcase instead of using the provided dresser.
The only things I removed from the suitcase were a plastic bag full of toiletries and a cloth-wrapped bundle. I tossed the toiletries into the bathroom sink and then carried the bundle over to the dresser where I set it down and unwrapped it, revealing the gimcrack in all its hideous glory.
I don’t know why I brought it with me. I suppose some part of me might have been refusing to let go of what happened that night and bringing the gimcrack was my way of punishing myself.
After I placed the gimcrack on the dresser I sat on the end of the bed and stared at it, recalling the phone call I had made to Father Cooke and Magister Alexander, the priests from opposing doctrines who had warned me about Ryan’s grandmother.
If they hadn’t come out that night and taken charge of the situation, I would have been sitting in the middle of the drive, cradling Carrie’s body in my lap until the sun came up.
Snap out of it, I chided myself, getting up and leaving the room. Being alone was the last thing I needed.
When I went back to the office, I found Paige outside talking to her camp counselors who were spread out across several picnic tables. The kids would be arriving soon and she was handing out their assignments.
“Ellie,” Paige said, waving me over when she saw me approaching the group, “You’re just in time.”
She waited until I had walked over to stand next to her before introducing me to the group of college-age young men and women. I smiled and gave them a quick wave.
“I’ve known Ellie since we were your age,” she gestured at the group, “And I trust her with my life,” she placed her hand on my shoulder. “I expect all of you to show her the same respect you’d show me. If you need something and can’t find me, talk to her.”
“Alright,” Paige clapped her hands together, “You all have your assignments. Hop to it!” she shooed them away. “You ready for that tour?” she asked, turning to face me as the counselors dispersed.
Paige showed me around the grounds, pointing out the various buildings along the way. Everything seemed to be built around a large outdoor amphitheater situated in the center of the camp. The infirmary, mess hall, recreation center, and office were all located on one side of the structure while the boys’ and girls’ cabins were on the opposite side.
“This place is huge,” I remarked as we made our way down to the boathouse.
“It used to be much larger,” Paige said, leading me out onto the dock.
“Seriously?”
She pointed out across the lake, “See those poles sticking out of the water?”
I squinted my eyes, scanning the opposite shore of the lake until I saw what she was referring to, “Yeah,” I said.
“When my great grandfather built this place, the boys and girls had separate camps. Camp Curiosity was for the boys and Camp Confection was for the girls. Those poles are all that remains of Camp Confection’s boathouse.”
“What happened?”
“The eighties,” she laughed.
“All the horror movies?” I asked, mostly joking.
“I’m sure that was part of it,” she replied, “But I think it had more to do with the increase in specialty camps that started popping up at the time. Kids had lost interest in the traditional camp structure and wanted to go to computer camp or sports camp. My grandfather owned the place back then and tried his best to keep up with the changing times, but he was out of touch with what the kids wanted and ended up failing miserably. He wound up having to close Camp Confection, deciding to consolidate all of the girl’s programs into Camp Curiosity in a last-ditch effort to save the camp. As you can see,” she looked back at the camp, “It worked.”
“Is the old camp still over there?” I gestured across the lake with my chin.
“Most of the old buildings are, but they were gutted when my grandfather combined the camp curriculums.”
I stared off into the woods on the other side of the lake, looking for signs of the old camp, but couldn’t see anything beyond the thick wall of trees.
“You ready to head back?” Paige asked.
“Yeah,” I said, following her off the dock and back towards camp. “Do you think you’ll ever reopen the camp?” I asked.
Paige shook her head, “I seriously doubt it. I barely make enough to keep this place running,” she gestured at the surrounding buildings. “I would have sold off that part of the property years ago if I could have.”
“What stopped you?”
“I don’t own it. I just own the camp. The property it sits on is part of a family trust. To sell it, I’d have to get permission from the trustees and they’d never allow it. My great grandfather was adamant that the land stays in the family.”
“Maybe I can lease the land from you,” I blurted out as a crazy idea suddenly sprang into my mind.
The entire time we’d been talking, we were also walking towards the camp office, but Paige stopped and stared at me after processing what I had just said, “Seriously?”
I nodded.
“What would you do with it?” she asked.
“I’d reopen the camp,” I replied.
“Why the hell would you want to do that?” Paige looked at me like I was crazy, “You’d just be throwing your money away fixing that place up and it would be years before you started turning a profit if you turned one at all. I can’t let you do something like that.”
“Well, it wouldn’t be a camp,” I clarified, “It’d be more like a retreat. A place I can bring patients to get them out of the city.”
And I place I can escape from the city, I thought to myself.
“That’s actually not a bad idea,” Paige said, “But…we’ll have to talk about it later,” she pointed to the entrance of the camp where the loud rumbling of several diesel engines announced the arrival of the school buses carrying the campers.
Once the kids arrived things got a little crazy and the days flew by. I spent most of my time patching up the occasional skinned elbows and knees or applying anti-itch ointment to mosquito bites. The worst things I had to deal with, besides a few cases of separation anxiety, were a sprained ankle and a mild case of food poisoning.
Paige and I never discussed the retreat during that time, which I was thankful for. It was a half-baked idea that I needed to give more consideration to before I committed to anything.
Before I knew it, the two weeks were almost up and I was feeling more like my old self.
I could get used to this, I thought one evening, jinxing myself and ruining the experience of the previous week and a half.
“Doctor Morrigan! Doctor Morrigan!” I heard someone yell as I was walking past the boathouse on my way back to the infirmary.
Mark, one of the lead counselors came running up to me, “Something’s wrong with Tobie,” he said, trying to catch his breath between words. As he spoke, he pointed at the dock where several campers and Jamie, another camp counselor, were standing around looking at the prone form of a teenage boy lying in the bottom of a canoe.
I ran down to the dock, pushing my way through the group of gawkers, “Jamie,” I said, snapping my fingers in front of the counselor’s face to get her attention. “Get these kids back to their cabins.” When she turned and looked at me, I pointed towards the group of buildings in the distance. “Now,” I demanded.
As Jamie herded the kids off the dock, I stepped into the canoe and began checking Tobie’s vitals, I turned and looked back at Mark who was watching me from the dock, “What happened to him?” I asked.
“I don’t know,” Mark shrugged, “We were on our way back to the dock when he said he felt sick and then suddenly passed out.”
Tobie’s pulse was strong, and he was breathing normally. As far as I could tell he wasn’t in any immediate danger.
“Help me get him to the infirmary,” I said, leaning down to grab Tobie under his arms while Mark grabbed his ankles.
As I lifted the teenager, he stirred a little, mumbled something, and then burped right into my face.
“Did you give him alcohol?” I asked, glaring at Mark. The smell that came out of Tobie’s mouth was unmistakable.
“No!” Mark declared, “Of course not!” He was offended by the suggestion.
I let the matter drop for the time being and instead focused on getting Tobie back to the infirmary without being seen. If word got out that one of the campers was drunk it could be the beginning of the end for Camp Curiosity and I wasn’t about to let that happen to Paige.
“Tell me everything you know,” I said to Mark after we had gotten Tobie into one of the infirmary’s beds. “Starting with what you were doing out on the lake so late with a canoe full of campers.”
Mark hesitated for a moment. I could tell he was trying to come up with a plausible lie to keep himself out of trouble.
“Don’t lie to me,” I said, “I’ll find out the truth one way or another.” That was both a promise and a threat.
Mark looked at me, reading my face, knowing that lying to me wasn’t in his best interest.
He slumped his shoulders and sighed, “They wanted to see what was on the other side of the lake,” he finally admitted.
“You took them to Camp Confection?” It was the perfect place for a group of teenagers to hang out and drink.
He nodded. “We weren’t there very long,” he explained, “We just explored a few buildings and then came right back.”
“Where did Tobie get the alcohol?”
“I don’t know,” Mark replied, raising his hand as if he were taking a pledge. “I swear.”
“Could one of the other campers have given it to him?” I asked.
“Not without Jamie or I noticing,” Mark replied. “We never let them out of our sight.”
How does a teenage boy, surrounded by people, get drunk without anyone noticing? That was the question I needed to answer, and unfortunately, the only person who could answer it right now was passed out.
Not knowing what else to do, I patted Tobie down, looking to see if he might have a flask hidden somewhere on his person. I didn’t think he did, I just wanted to be thorough and didn’t know what else to do at the moment.
As I was rolling him to the side to check his back pockets, I noticed a large red welt on the side of his ankle. It looked like a nasty bug bite.
“Do you know how he got this?” I asked, pointing at the bump.
“No,” Mark replied, “He never mentioned anything about it.”
Inside the infirmary was a desk where I was required to fill out incident reports for every camper who came to see me. I walked over to that desk and began searching through the drawers, looking for the magnifying glass I had seen earlier in the week. When I found it, I sat down on the bed next to Tobie and held it over the bite mark.
“That’s odd,” I whispered.
There were marks around the circumference of the bite that looked like tiny teeth impressions. I’ve seen enough bite marks and been bitten enough times in my line of work to know what a human bite mark looks like. The marks on Tobie’s ankle looked exactly like that. The problem was the size of the marks. The person who made them couldn’t have been more than six inches tall.
There was only one kind of creature I knew of that could make a bite mark like that. A faerie.
“I need you to stay here with Tobie,” I said to Mark, getting up and heading out of the infirmary before he could protest. “Don’t give him anything to eat or drink while I’m gone,” I added before shutting the door.
I was originally going to take a canoe across the lake but then I decided it would be a lot quicker and less of a hassle to just drive over there.
When I approached the gates to Camp Confection, I was happy to see they were exactly like the ones at the entrance to Camp Curiosity which meant they weren’t locked. I just had to unlatch them and push them open before I could continue on my way.
The old road that led into the camp was covered in pine straw and full of potholes, but still functional. When I pulled into the parking lot, I parked my car and turned on the high beams so that my headlights illuminated what was left of the camp’s buildings. From what I could tell, everything was laid out exactly like it was at Camp Curiosity.
I got out of the car and began walking towards what was left of the cabins, thinking that would be a great place to start my search.
“If I were a faerie, where would I hide?” I said to myself, looking from one dilapidated building to the next, but they didn’t look like they had housed anything in decades.
Turning around, I made my way to the other side of the camp where all of the service buildings were located. All of those structures were in similar disrepair except one, the mess hall. Considering how old it was, and the state of the other buildings in the camp, the mess hall looked pretty. A fresh coat of paint and some new windows and it’d look almost as good as the one over at Camp Curiosity. That wasn’t natural. It should be in the same sad state as the rest of the buildings.
Faeries are inherently magical. They exude the stuff which tends to have several beneficial side-effects on their immediate surroundings. One of those side-effects is a deceleration of the aging process. I was sure that is why the mess hall was in much better shape than the rest of the camp.
When I entered the mess hall, I could see several tracks of footprints in the dust. Further proof that I was in the right place.
I began searching the interior of the building, looking for anything out of the ordinary. Everything looked as I expected it would. It wasn’t until I got to the kitchen that I found what I was looking for.
While searching through the empty cabinets, I noticed that one of the units on the floor wasn’t secured to the wall very well. It wobbled when I pulled open the doors. Wanting to see if there was anything behind it, I grabbed hold of it and tugged it off the wall.
I didn’t have to pull very hard before it fell forward and collapsed in on itself.
“Found you,” I said, kneeling to get a closer look at the faerie hovel built into the wall where the cabinet was.
“You shouldn’t be in here,” a small voice squeaked behind me, “It’s not safe.”
I jumped, at the unexpected sound. “You just scared the shit out of me,” I said, turning to face the diminutive woman standing in the doorway of the kitchen.
She was wearing a simple green dress with a white apron over it. On her head was a matching bonnet.
“You’re a Chaun, aren’t you?” I asked.
Chauns are a type of house fairy that tended to live hidden among humans, usually in rural locations. Having one living inside your house was believed to bring good fortune to the family.
“I am,” she replied, “And you’re a Fay.”
Fay was a faerie term used to denote someone who could see and interact with the fae folk. A side effect of those who’ve been scarred by something supernatural.
“You said it’s not safe in here, what did you mean by that?” I asked, crossing my legs and taking a seat on the floor.
“Do you know what happens when a Chaun goes mad?” she asked, walking over to stand in front of me.
“Sort of,” I admitted, “They change depending on the type of madness inflicting them. I know that a Leprechaun is a Chaun that’s gone insane with greed, right?”
“Everyone knows about the Leprechauns, but have you ever heard of a Clurichaun?”
I shook my head. My faery lore was very limited.
“A Clurichaun is a Chaun that’s become addicted to spirits.”
“Spirits?” I was confused for a second but then I realized that she meant alcohol. “Tobie must have had a run-in with the Clurichaun.”
“Is that the boy that was in here earlier?” the faery asked.
“Yeah,” I nodded my head, “I think the Clurichaun bit him and affected him somehow.”
“He did,” the faery agreed, “That bite cursed the boy to drink like a Clurichaun. He’ll curse you too once he sees what you’ve done to his home.” She pointed at the hovel I had uncovered.
“What does it mean to ‘drink like a Clurichaun’?”
“It means that whatever the boy drinks will turn into spirits.”
That explained why Tobie was drunk. He must have taken a drink from one of the water bottles when they were returning to Camp Curiosity.
“Where is he now?” I asked, looking over at the disheveled hovel then back at the faery. From what I knew about Faeries, I needed the Clurichaun’s help if I was going to remove the curse he put on Tobie.
“There’s a moonshine still hidden at the bottom of the hill behind the camp. Last time I saw him he was heading down there to refill his jug.”
“How long ago was that?” Right after I spoke, I remembered that faeries didn’t measure time the way we did, so she wouldn’t be able to answer the question in a way that would help me. “Forget I asked that,” I said, waving it off with my hand as I tried to think of how best to help Tobie.
“The Clurichaun can’t help you. Not willingly,” the faery said, guessing my thoughts. “If you want to cure the boy, you’ll have to free the Clurichaun from his own curse.”
“How do I do that?” I was prepared to do whatever it took to help Tobie.
“You have to get him to drink something other than the spirits he craves.”
That sounded simple enough. The hard part was going to be catching the Clurichaun, but I already had a plan for that forming in the back of my mind.
“I’ll be right back,” I said, getting up and walking out of the mess hall, being careful to walk around the little Chaun as I left.
While I was walking through the camp, I remembered passing what looked like an old bonfire, around which were a bunch of discarded beer bottles. I was going to need a few of them for my plan to work.
As I gathered the bottles, it was easy to guess how the other Chaun had succumbed to the intoxicating call of the spirits. The abandoned camp was the perfect spot for young people to hide out and get drunk. The Chaun wouldn’t have been able to resist the lure of those gatherings. At some point, someone must have left some alcohol behind and that is all it took to start him on the path to becoming a Clurichaun.
After I had collected a few bottles, I went down to the lake to clean them out and fill them up with water. Once I was done, I returned to the kitchen and waited for the Clurichaun to return.
“You should probably go,” I said to the Chaun, “I don’t want to cause any more trouble for you.”
Faeries were bound by various pacts, and if they broke those pacts, they could be cast out from Fae society, or worse, they could be stripped of their magic. There was a limit to how much help the Chaun was allowed to give me. I just hoped she hadn’t already crossed that line by telling me how to cure the Clurichaun.
“I appreciate your concern and acknowledge your respect for our ways, kind Fay” she replied turning and walking out of the kitchen. “Be careful,” she added and then vanished.
I didn’t have to wait long for the Clurichaun to return. From the noise he was making, he didn’t seem to be concerned about hiding his presence.
Before he entered the kitchen, I positioned myself among the ruins of the broken cabinet and grabbed one of the bottles.
“What have you done to my home?” he demanded, setting the large ceramic jug he was carrying on the floor beside him before pointing an accusing finger at me.
“I must have had too much to drink,” I slurred, pretending to be drunk. “I’m starting to see little people.”
The Clurichaun stopped and cocked his head to the side at the mention of me being drunk. “What’s that you’re drinking,” he said, eyeing the bottle in my hand.
“This,” I pointed at the bottle, moving my hand as if I couldn’t hold it steady. “It’s Beer.”
“Can I have some?” he asked, reaching his hands out to me.
I pulled the bottle closer to myself. “You already have some,” I said, pointing at his jug.
“How about we trade?” he suggested. “I’ll give you some of mine,” he gestured back at his jug, “if you give me some of yours.” Then he gestured at my bottle.
I pretended to think about it for a moment, “Okay,” I shrugged.
“Excellent,” he said, rubbing his hands together. “I’ll get us some cups.”
I watched as he walked over to the cabinets on the opposite wall and retrieved an old tin cup that was almost as big as he was. He dragged it next to my foot then ran into his hovel and returned with a much smaller cup for himself.
“Me first,” he said, holding out his cup and licking his lips in anticipation.
I held out the bottle and poured a drop of the lake water into his cup.
I had hoped in his eagerness to have the beer that he would just chug it down, but he wasn’t that easily fooled. He brought the cup to his nose, sniffed it, and then dumped it out. “That isn’t beer,” he yelled at me.
“And I’m not drunk,” I said, reaching out and grabbing the Clurichaun with my free hand. It was time to go to plan B.
“What? How?” He squirmed in my grasp, trying to escape but unable to. That’s when he bit me.
The bite didn’t hurt as I expected it to. Instead, I felt a kind of tingling sensation where his teeth punctured the skin of my finger.
And now I have the curse, I thought to myself.
Keeping the Clurichaun in my hand, I refilled his cup with my other hand, then held it up to his lips, “Drink!” I demanded.
“Uh-uh,” he said through pursed lips, turning his head to the side.
“We can do this the easy way or the hard way,” I said.
He didn’t reply. He just kept his head turned to the side.
“Fine, have it your way,” I grabbed the cup he had given me and filled it full of water. “Last chance,” I warned, holding him upside down above the cup.
What I was about to do would break one of the faery pacts I was bound by as a Fay, but I didn’t have the time to sit there and wait him out. I would deal with the consequences later.
I began lowering the Clurichaun’s head towards the cup. When his hair touched the water, I heard him take a deep breath.
“It didn’t have to be this way,” I said, dunking his head beneath the surface of the water and holding him there. I counted to thirty seconds before I pulled him out.
Water was flying from his nostrils as he began breathing heavily through his nose, refusing to open his mouth.
“You ready to take that drink?” I asked.
He narrowed his eyes and glared at me. I took that as a no.
I dunked him again, holding him under for a full minute.
That process continued for several minutes until I finally said “Fuck it,” intending to end this one way or another. “I’m not lifting you out until you drink,” I said, raising my voice to make sure he could hear me. “Drink or die. That’s your only option.” I meant what I said.
I wasn’t in the mood to be charitable, not after losing Carrie. I know I was projecting my anger, taking it out on the Clurichaun, but I didn’t care. He was going to suffer the same way she suffered.
I must have zoned out because I didn’t notice the little Chaun until she had climbed up my leg and stood on my knee. “Let him go!” she yelled at me, “He took a drink!”
I looked down at the cup and noticed the torrent of bubbles coming from the drowning Clurichaun’s mouth. “Sorry,” I said, quickly lifting him up and gently laying him on the ground.
He lay there coughing and sputtering.
The Chaun slid down my leg and ran over to him.
Did it work? I asked myself, reaching down and picking up the cup of water. I took a sip and immediately spat it out. It didn’t taste like alcohol, it tasted like the dirty lake water it was supposed to be. I’m glad that’s over.
“This isn’t over,” the cured Clurichaun sputtered between coughing fits, “The Court of Seasons is going to hear about this.”
“I’m sorry. I truly am,” I apologized, “But I didn’t know what else to do,” I didn’t want to cry, but the tears came anyway. There was no excuse for what I had done. I deserved the shame I was feeling.
The two faeries sat there, huddled together on the floor. It never occurred to me that the two of them could be a couple but it was obvious to me now, seeing the way little Chaun cared for him.
“I’m not asking you to forgive me,” I said, “I don’t even forgive myself.” I stood up. “I will not plead my case to the Court of Seasons and will accept whatever judgment they pass down on me.”
Neither one of them spoke as I got up and left the mess hall, but I could feel their eyes drilling holes into the back of my head until I was out of sight.
I drove back to Camp Curiosity. When I got back to the infirmary, I found Mark sitting on the bed next to Tobie holding a trash bucket under his head.
“How is he?” I asked.
“Okay, I guess,” Mark replied. “He puked his guts out for about fifteen minutes, but he seems fine now. He’s been asking for water, but you told me not to give him anything to eat or drink.”
I walked over to the sink and filled a glass with water, carrying it over to Tobie.
“You can go, Mark,” I gestured towards the door, “Thanks for watching him.”
Mark got up and started to leave, “Do you know what happened to him?” he asked.
“I do,” I said, sitting down next to Tobie and handing him the glass of water. “Someone hid some liquor in one of the mess hall cabinets. I think Tobie helped himself to a little of it.”
“Sorry,” Mark apologized, “I guess I should have kept a better eye on him.”
Tobie started to shake his head and was about to protest my explanation, but I cut him off by pushing the cup against his lips.
“Drink,” I said to him. To Mark, I said, “Don’t beat yourself up over it. It wasn’t your fault. Go get some rest, its been a long day.”
“Yes, it has,” he agreed, walking out of the infirmary.
When I pressed the glass to Tobie’s lips, he took a hesitant sip and then grabbed the glass out of my hand and started chugging it. “More please,” he said, handing the glass back to me.
His thirst was enough to tell me that he was going to be fine.
I let him stay the night in the infirmary, sleeping off the effects of all the alcohol he had unknowingly ingested because of the curse. Before I tucked him in, I explained what had happened to him, and that he needed to keep it to himself. Talking about it would only cause more trouble for himself.
When I went to check on him in the morning, I found him hiding under his blanket.
“You okay, Tobie?” I asked.
“Is she gone?” he replied, keeping the blanket over his head.
“Is who gone?”
“The ghost lady,” he said reluctantly, thinking I would laugh at him.
Anyone else might have laughed at him, but not me. I knew what he was going through. I went through the same thing.
“She’s not here,” I reassured him, “She only appears at night.”
“You’ve seen her too?” He slid the blanket off his head.
I nodded, “She scared the shit out of me one night when I got up to use the bathroom, but she’s harmless.”
“Who is she?”
I shrugged, “I don’t know,” I sat down on the bed beside him. “I suppose she’s just the remnant of someone who used to work here.”
“What’s a remnant?”
“A remnant is the spiritual energy left behind by someone who has died unexpectedly,” I explained. “It’s a residual presence. Sort of like a psychic imprint.”
“Like a ghost?” he interrupted.
“Not quite,” I said, “A remnant isn’t really a ghost, it’s more like a character in a movie that keeps repeating the same scene over and over again.”
“Oh,” was all he could think of to say in reply.
“You’re going to start seeing a lot more things like that,” I warned him, “But most of them will be harmless.”
“But I don’t want to see them,” he blurted out.
“Sorry kiddo, but you don’t have a choice in the matter,” I replied,
“Why?”
“It’s because of that bite,” I pointed at his ankle. “Anyone who becomes scarred by something supernatural gains a special kind of sense, one that allows them to see and interact with things that most people don’t know or don’t believe exists.”
“Well, how will I know if they’re harmless or not?” he asked.
“You’ll know,” I said, getting up and walking over to the desk so I could grab a pen and a piece of paper, “When that happens,” I wrote my phone number on the paper and handed it to him, “I want you to call me as soon as you can.”
I felt bad for Tobie, knowing how drastically his life was going to change now that the veil had been lifted from his eyes. But at least he had someone to talk to if things got out of hand. I didn’t have anyone to talk to when I received my scar.
submitted by Dr_Morrigan to nosleep [link] [comments]


2020.10.26 16:11 JohnnyDarko216 Tenant trying to get out of apartment

So I have lived in Morrisville PA for 2 yrs with me and my wife in a 1 bed and 1 bath. when we came here we new it wasnt the best apartment but it was what we could afford and was in a good location close to stores and schools. About 6 months ago we had a major leak come in from the upstairs. It was explained to me from maintenance that the toilet overflowed for almost an entire day. The result was that the ceiling in my bathroom finally gave way bc of the complete saturation. The effects were so far reaching water damage could be seen in the door was to the kitchen and the floor moldings, the ceiling of dining area, the hall, bathroom doorjams, and even into my bedroom wey spots forming near over my bed and in the corners. The pathway of carpet from the kitchen to bedroom was completely soaked. Luckily my wife who was with child at the time was not there. It was like pulling teeth to get the problem taken care of. My biggest concern was mold it took a very long time to get preliminary work done and even after they were " done" there were still noticable stains on the walls, ceilings, and moldings. All documented and pictures taken I took my concerns to the manager say they need to redo an come back and fix these problem areas. I had to put the rent in escro till they did. It was apparent to me that stuff was growing and she denied that there wasnt anything to be concerned about. Even though what might e or look notmalnon one side of the sheetrock it could be a different story and mold cold be on the other side. I asked her if she want to prove and make sure there is no mold then to bring in someone to teat it. Another week went by and they finally went back over everything. Basically they just painted and speckled over everything with minimal sanding then painted it and called it done. They couldnt even replaced the molding for door was and again I have photos looked disgusting. After this I felt like they were never going to do what saw really needed i explained to her that the repair were a joke, I could have done it better myself and that i have worked in my father's ho.e repair service for most of my life if not repairing other homes but our own as well. Not getting anywhere with a baby due very soon I could not go through the process then to get out of my lease.
Flash forward now we have had 2 major issues one sub issue. 1. We have mice: we finally got visual conformation one night and sent in a request. About the mice, in a reply to my request the manager stated her language almost verbatum "that our appartment would be added to the list". My reaction was that of we have a pest rodent problem y wasnt I notified. In the same email thread she said my apartment was serviced on such and such date. When I got here on the phone when all these other issues came up o said well you told me you sprayed my apartment on this date and that was treatment for the rodents. She basically retracted that statement and said " we dont spay for mice". I told her if I had new then or had any idea that the building had rodent issues regardless of what the spray was for even though u said in the email that it was spraying for rodents I would have left a long time ago. 2. Surface mold mold had started to grow out of now where we had just had a lot of storm and we had a wet spot under our window air conditioner unit, but it had dried somewhat quickly. This is a sub floor apartment so when we moved in here we signed a mold clause, so basically we had no grounds to complain bc they said it was out of there responsibly bc we didnt report the leak prior and the wet carpet. This is where I'm pretty sure shortly after moving into the apartment or getting ready for my son to be born we notice that the windows are severely substandard. They are aluminum frame 50 year old windows so I have recollections off submitting a work order to get the sealed. After the deep clean we gave the place I noticed again that in 2 of the windows the "glass" was detached from the frame. Also my wife notice a gap in the cut out frame for the air conditioner. So I also then remade my claims and asked for them to reseal all these points. In my email and or maintenance request I stated that they really need to look into there building and consider replacing windows all together. Back to the topic of mold she basically said it's our fault even though we have no control over the heat. It all base board heat with no controls, so they turn it on and off, the air conditioner doesn't or really isn't capable of even cooling a one bed apartment. We have the ceiling fan going all the time. And we have two other fans that we use also. Also other minor issue, our current upstairs neighbor is really inconsiderate he plays music with the sound up to 11 staring from the time I get home at 630 - 7 to sometime 12am I was in the process of looking for house or another living situation. We could not get approval or lock anything else down so we could not give notice to vacate. We had to give notice on Sept 30 our lease is over Nov 30. Since we didnt give notice by that time they auto resign us up for the next year. But I did not physically sign anything or have been given new lease. I have tried calling multiple places but with the cov e everyone is workI g from home and I have left lost of message but no reponce. I was going to put their rent in escro again but by the time they asked for proff and trying to adress my concerns I did was not able to get the money onto an account. They really dont care. I am a veteran, I have a child where his health is at risk, and I feel stuck.
submitted by JohnnyDarko216 to legaladvice [link] [comments]


2020.10.26 03:37 Minimum-Translator87 Tetanus Booster, no frills...

Any idea where in or near Hamp I could get a tetanus booster for a reasonable cash price?
In theory I have insurance via an ACA plan... in practice, the deductible is insane.
What exists in terms of options for a simple fee-for-reasonable service?
eg, no checkup, physical, wellness visit, just draw that stuff up and stick it in my arm because every once in a while some oops or another happens which makes being up to date a good idea?
(not looking for charity care... I'll pay, I just want to pay for what I need, and not the kitchen sink)

submitted by Minimum-Translator87 to northampton [link] [comments]


2020.10.25 02:37 500scnds [Table] I'm Jeff Galak, Professor of Marketing & Social and Decision Science at Carnegie Mellon University. I have published dozens of academic papers on decision making, consumer behavior, and more. I have also recently launched a new YouTube channel called Data Demystified. AMA! (pt 2/3)

Source Previous table
Questions Answers
the below has been split into three
Hi Jeff, thanks for doing this AMA! 1. As you said, studies have shown that relationships show the strongest correlation to happiness. Do you think people can be happy from “one” good relationship, maybe one with a loved one - or do we need multiple relationships to be happy? Or does this depend on the person? Yes. The evidence is clear here. Few amazing relationship are far more beneficial than many shallow ones.
2. I’m a lawyer - how do you think data can benefit the legal profession, and how can it benefit me (as an individual)? An understanding of statistics and probability has a huge role in the legal profession. I don't know what type of law you practice, but plenty of civil litigation between firms relies on data to support expert testimony. Lawyers, juries and judges largely lack the intuition and knowledge they need to interpret results of such expert testimony. You personally...think of every time you ever see a data point (political polls, stock prices, product prices/attributes, weather forecasts, etc...). Those all have some form of data and/or statistics in them whether you realize or not. Understanding data very broadly would help you engage with all of that more richly.
3. What’s the one thing we should consider when making decisions, that we don’t consider too much? Most decisions don't matter all that much. We spend a lot of time worrying about mundane decisions and shouldn't!
the below is a reply to the above
Haha I love the answer to Q3. :) It’s honestly refreshing to know that, thank you. Are there any decisions that do matter? Thanks! And, of course. Who you date/marry matters a LOT. Where you live matters a lot. Whether to have children or not matters a lot. I think you get the idea. What doesn't matter is which smartphone you buy, whether you get Italian or Chinese for dinner, or whether you watch this terrible Netflix movie or that one :)
Might be a little late but worth a try. Someone asked about loot boxes in video games, I'm fascinated by the psychology and marketing ploys that manages to constantly get people to buy the product despite the lack of positive reinforcement in the end result (as you know the items that are mostly desired tend to have a 1% or less chance). Right now a game I frequent has discovered through their research that losing increases more playing. They've used this information to artificially alter a player's matches to increase the likelihood of defeat. Despite the amount of frustration this causes a player, when presented with this information and proof (the official patent practically verbatim says this in the abstract itself), it doesn't seem to change their desire to play. Are habitual behaviors that much stronger than removing frustration? This is not something like having a messy room where the mess may not bother the self, thus the cleaning doesn't really remove any undesired feelings. My real question though is what are some concepts, theories, etc. that are employed by this gaming companies to play on the psychology of their players especially with monetization? I know of concepts like anchoring, conditioning, sunk cost fallacy, loss aversion to name a few but have no idea where I could find more. Another thing that's pretty fascinating, games these days are designed where at least 5 years worth of basic content is stripped from the base game and drip fed for years to come at a price. Even with evidence from predecessor games that had these features in their base game, players rejoice at a company releasing it two years later in the new game for a price. That's fascinating! The idea of forcing a loss is really intersting. Would you mind posting which game that is and where the patent filing is? I'm quite curious. The idea does make sense though...if the game can get people hooked on the mechanics and winning is the ultimate goal, then by increasing the odds of losing, they keep you hooked for longer. As in, if you win, you're done and more on to something else. But if you keep loosing, there's reason to stick around.
And I think you've covered the bulk of the "tricks" they use. The biggest one, by far, is the constant reinforcement in the form of points, awards, achievements, etc... all that have no real value. People like getting positive reinforcement and it motivates them to stick around. Imagine the alternative: a game where you never get feedback on your progress...that's a hard game to stay engaged with.
the below has been split into four
Hello sir. Hope you and your family is doing well in this pandemic. (1) I have a couple of questions. How does it feel to be a long term professor at a prestigious institution as Carnegie Mellon? How do you think this has prepared you for being an optimal source of knowledge in your field? Thanks for your questions!
Like with any job, there are ups and downs. I LOVE academia. I have the freedom to ask questions of the world that interest me and the tools and resources to answer those questions. That's truly amazing. CMU has provided many opportunities in the form of research support and access to resources. I also have amazing colleagues in the Center for Behavioral and Decision Research who motivate me to do great work. But like anything, there are cons. There is a lot of politics within academia and I can't stand any of it. It's impossible to avoid and makes some days unenjoyable. On the whole, I love my job.
(2) According to you how would companies which are currently surviving this crisis be able to focus on making a sustainable income as well as providing it's workers a pension to work? A purely subjective opinion. Wow, that's a big question and the answer greatly depends on the company. If you're Apple, I'm sure the employees will be fine. If you're a small business like a restaurant, that's a whole other issue. I hope that governments around the world will provide aid to businesses that are struggling, but with the current administration in the US, I'm skeptical much will happen.
(3) How would this crisis as whole impact students from around the globe i.e. Students(domestic and international) who are both in the process of applying as well as those who are going to apply in the next year or two?
(4) What according to you is the key to happiness and Do you consider gift-giving for moral relief(giving gifts to atone for guilt) as not counting as much as giving for the sake of giving? Thank you so much. Have a great day!! All research points to relationships being the key to happiness. Strong and close relationships are the number one predictor of overall happiness and well being. Cultivate them.
Gift giving has MANY motives. Sometimes it's just to make someone else happy, sometimes it's to fulfill an obligation. Sometimes it's to make yourself feel good about yourself. Those motives influence the types of gifts you give and the utility they provide the recipient (and giver). They are all, however, gifts.
the below is a reply to the above
Well...I agree with you there! A gift is a gift! No matter the cause of giving. I couldn't help but notice that you didn't answer the third question(probably because of my awful formatting). As a future applicant I'd really appreciate it. Thank you! Sorry, let me try again. When you say "not counting as much" that can be from the giver's or recipients' perspective. For the giver, if they internalize the gift as some kind of penance for a bad act, then sure, it counts. For the recipient, they probably have no idea what drives the giver and as long as the gift is minimally acceptable, they will be happy with it. Does that help?
the below is a reply to the above
Sorry I meant the third question. Autocorrect 😅. THIRD. My apologies Sorry, totally missed that one somehow! For ugrad and MBA int'l students (I'm at the business school) the biggest hurdle will be visas for entry to the US. I have absolutely no idea how that will play out. The current administration is making it very difficult for int'l students to get entry visas, so unless they change their policies (or are voted out in Nov), that's going to be a real challenge. For domestic students, if anything, they'll have an easier time getting into programs because of the decrease in int'l applicants (less competition).
For PhD students, there is a different and bigger problem: what happens when they graduate. Right now, many (most) universities have hiring freezes. That means that the students who are graduating now are completely screwed. But that also means that next year (assuming the pandemic is gone and schools are hiring again), there will be double competition for academic jobs (those who are graduating on time and those who couldn't get a job this year b/c no one is hiring). That will then cascade into the next year. I suspect it'll take 5 or so years before the academic job market will be back to some sense of normal
[deleted] Oh god, if you want to have impact, DO NOT go into academia. Go be a social worker. Or a teacher. Or work for a non-profit. Academics, with very few exceptions, actually change the world in any way. Most just sit in their offices thinking highly of themselves. The way to actually have impact is to apply your research somehow. That could be consulting, educating others, or writing for a wide audience (i.e. not academic journals).
More generally, you are right to be worried. The academic job market is going to be a disaster for the next few years. There is almost nothing to be done about that. Even the start PhD students are going to struggle. It sucks.
So what can you do? If you really want to do research (which, to be clear, is awesome and can be really rewarding), look for companies like Google that have "People analytics" (that's their version of HR) and do research internally. Or find a boutique consulting firm that focuses on behavioral science (BEESY is one, Ipsos has a Behavioral Science dept, etc...)
the below has been split into two
Hi Jeff! I’ve always been interested in data analysis as a career but always feel lost whenever trying to path out an appropriate direction to become something like a data scientist or a researcher. I have 2 questions around data that I was hoping you could provide some insight on. 1) I would imagine that research papers require an extensive amount of data (at least I hope they do) to make inferences. My question is what is involved in gathering all of this data to test a theory/hypothesis? Highly varied. Almost all the work I do involves primary data collection. As in, I conduct experiments with human subjects. Other research uses archival data like sales of products or behavior on a website. Depending on what you want to answer, you will follow different approaches.
2) I see that your YouTube Channel is about the intuition of data but will you also have videos regarding those fundamentals behind the analysis (regression analysis, etc.)? If not do you have any helpful resources where one could develop these analytical fundamentals? I will, but the goal is intuition first. Other resources: coursera has fantastic data science courses. I recommend them quite a bit!
Why don't you use your powers for good? I try to! I sit on the board of a large local non-profit and give them as much advice on this stuff as I can. I also do some pro bono consulting for non-profits. It's not enough, but I try.
the below is a reply to the above
Good Job, I'm currently watching Century Of the Self, and it's put a bit of bad taste in my mouth for "marketing" "Marketing" can be very evil. No doubt about it. I try to stay far away from that side of things as possible.
If you had a grand message to the world In The interest of happiness, young and old poor or rich what would you relay? Wow...way to be me on the spot! JK
I'd probably say that we should spend more time focusing on developing strong relationships than we do right now. We're all very caught up in getting better at something or getting more stuff, but research tells us time and time again that enduring happiness comes from the people we care about.
Have you done any research on consumer profiles based on political leanings? Do conservatives or liberals have different buying habits? In general, what are some of the best insights you’ve found in your research? I haven't looked at purchasing behavior based on political ideology. One that I have looked at is how political partisans respond to political lies. In short, Republicans and Democrats are fast to excuse lies from politicians within their own political party...but mostly if those lies are policy oriented. If they are personal lies (e.g. I'm awesome because I can bench press 10000lbs), most people tend to find those lies unacceptable. And I'm sure people will be quick to say that Republicans are more willing to excuse lies than Democrats and that's MOSTLY not true based on the data I have.
the below is a reply to the above
That seems to contradict the most prominent Republican: Donald Trump who famously started his presidency by lying about his inauguration attendance. Not trying to pick a political fight mind you, but the whole “personal lies” thing doesn’t seem to apply there. Of course, you're right. Trump is the exception to everything, this research likely as well. Our work tries hard to avoid anything to do with Trump b/c he really is an exception in many ways. But even for Trump, our work suggests that Republican voters are more likely to excuse lies of his that support policy position than just prop him up somehow. Ultimately, though, yes, Trump break a lot of research...and a lot of other things too!
Hello, and thanks for doing this. I just have one question: ¿What would you say is the best way to make a costumer profile on young internet users? Like for a company that sells educational textbooks transforming into a company that has an educational streaming plataform where students receive the information true a videogame format. Sorry if I'm not clear enough, english is not my first language. I teach Marketing Research and get this type of question a lot. The truth is that without resources (e.g. money), doing something like this is hard. If you have a budget, I would hire a reputable consulting firm that specializes in online marketing and they will guide you with your specific application. Good luck!
What are your thoughts on the field of behavioral economics and how it relates to decision making? Are you looking to get me in trouble, b/c that's what's gonna happen here. Behavioral economics has its place, for sure. Let's decompose that a bit, though. There's behavioral and there's experimental.
Experimental I will admit, I am not a huge fan of. The experiments they run tend to be incredibly artificial, making their insights less than a great reflection of reality. The concepts are often just rehashes of social psychology for decades past, but with econ'y terms tagged on. And there is very much a holier-than-thou attitude about the discipline.
Behavioral, on the other hand, uses concepts in economics to explain behavioral phenomena more generally. Sometimes that's with experiments, but more often it's with real world data. I'm a big fan of when this is done well. Plenty of synergies between what they do and what decision making researchers and psychological researchers like me do.
Hi Jeff! Have you ever found in your research, results that were opposite to your initial hypothesis? If so, what was the most interesting time? Thanks! Not quite opposite, but we'll go with it. A while back a very famous psychologist published a paper "proving" ESP existed. I don't believe in ESP, but I thought it would be awesome if this psychologist were right. As in, it would be pretty cool if ESP were real. So I bet a colleague that we could replicate that original results. About a year later that colleague and I (and two other colleagues) published a paper that basically shut down all belief that the original finding of ESP was true. I happily lost that bet.
As a food service employee I am trying to figure out what’s next in the business post COVID-19. Do you have any thoughts on creative ways to grow business right now beyond offering curbside and delivery? Ditch the restaurant entirely. It's not a new model, but it should be bigger than it is. If I'm going to order deliver, why do I care what your restaurant looks like. Go rent some space in a commercial kitchen and make me a yummy meal that arrives at my door. There's definitely more of this these days, but I'm still amazed at the persistence of physical restaurants in so many cases. There's an amazing Chinese food place near me that doesn't even have seating, just a counter. The issue is that they are paying top dollar for rent on that space (it's in a high cost area) when all their business is takeout/delivery. Why not ditch the high rent and keep most of the business? Anyway, that's where I see this going.
Where do you think the culture is heading to? And, as the amount of people with depression increases and the majority of jobs get automated, would this have an impact on the economy? people without jobs become unhappy. Wow, that is WAY outside my expertise. Culture is highly fluid and we basically have no idea what will come next. (as an aside, if you can predict the next cultural change, let me know and we'll make billions!). So I have no clue where culture is going.
As for depression, that's a big issue and could be on the rise due to pandemic loneliness. Clinical psychologists will have their hands full for a while. I just hope people seek the help they need.
And as for automation, yes, that will change the economy as it has for decades now. How will gov'ts respond? I don't know. I hope we consider things like a universal basic income to help people avoid poverty. After that, it's anyone's guess.
Hi Professor, Thanks for doing this Ama! I'm currently getting an MBA in marketing and have been working on a few research papers focusing on the change of buying habits and the permanence of covid related purchasing behavior. Do you think consumers will continue to buy as they have over the past 6 months or is the uptick in online and delivery services temperary, particularly grocery delivery? 95% temporary. People like to go out and do things. Once the pandemic ends we'll be back to business as usual.
How do you feel about the way research papers are published? How has your school accommodated international students during the pandemic? Papers: lots of ways to answer this. I'll focus on open-access. I can't stand that papers that I work on, which are reviewed by referrees who don't get paid, edited by editors who don't get paid, are then profitted off of by private publishers who keep science from the public. That is insane. I strongly support open-access journals like PLOS ONE (where I am an editor). That said, the "private" journals are still the most prestigious in my field and if I want to advance in my career and make sure that my PhD students advance as well, I'm stuck submitting papers to them. It sucks.
Intl Students: I believe all classes must be accessible via remote learning. Even if they are held in person (few are), they need to stream the class to students who can't physically attend.
Hey Professor Galak! Thank you so much for doing this. I have always been fascinated by every topic that you just mentioned and in fact I have just recently presented my master thesis entitled "The Hedonic Stigma: How the consumer’s memory seeks shelter from hedonism in utilitarianism". Since I am still curious about a lot of things regarding the research I did and consumer behavior in general... Do you recommend any book that really made an impact in you or changed the way you see these complex topics? Thank you so much in advance. P.S. : By the way I just subscribed to your channel, best of luck! First, thank you! There is one book I have in mind and I can't think of the title at all. It's in my office on campus which I can't currently access thanks to Covid. It's a short book with a blue cover (not helpful, I know). It's about social psychology and had a lengthy discussion on pluralistic ignorance (one of my all time favorite topics in psychology). I remember that was the first book my advisor in grad school had me read and it changed the way I looked at people. Maybe someone on here knows what I'm talking about. The book was profound to me because it made me realize the interconnection between people and how others influence our decisions and preferences.
I don't actually plan to set foot on campus this semester so I can't even promise to get the book and tell you anytime soon. But if you can remember, ping me in like 3 months and I'll get it for you!
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Thank you so much for your time! Hope I remember to talk to you again so that I can find that misterious book! Stay safe! If I think of it, I promise to send you a PM!
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This sounds like it might be "How We Know What isn't So" by Thomas Gilovich. It's not, but great book and Tom is awesome. I've known him for years and aside from being an amazing psychologist he's just a super nice guy.
Hi Jeff! I think I’m too late but had one question. Without giving away my identity, my father is a long time professor of marketing and consumer behavior at a university. I’m sure you know each other or of each other in what is a relatively small field. What do you think about this crisis around replicating results? My father (as he nears retirement from teaching) recently has questioned so many of the studies he taught his students for years. Feels like so many of the surprising results that are taught are surprising because they’re not actually accurate. How can the field (and many other social science fields) fight the urge to look for surprising, counterintuitive results and still remain interesting and relevant? Your father is right to be concerned. I've been part of the Open Science movement as well as took part in a major replication effort showing that most studies don't replicate. It's a huge problem, but it's getting better. Journals are starting requiring authors to submit materials, data, code, and make statements declaring use of good research practices...universities are being much more careful in their promotion processes when evaluating faculty...and the tide is starting to shift away from sloppy and sexy research towards more rigorous work. So yes, a lot of the really flashy stuff is questionable, but almost all research isn't that flashy. I worry a lot, but I do think things are improving. Say hi to your dad if he knows me :)
Hi Jeff, Economics undergraduate here, I feel like in a lot of ways your work is very intertwined with what research has been coming out of the "behavioral econ" field in the past few decades. In your view, can controlled experiments in researching human psychology/preferences/interaction provide researchers with meaningful data? If so, what needs to be done to make sure that those research environments are not too "sterile", in that they no longer reflect outcomes in the real world? Yup. Almost all of the new "findings" in behavioral econ are just psychology findings from decades ago. Economists put their own flavor on it, but it's almost all a rehash (with some exceptions, to be sure). Often you find something like this: psychologist learned something 30 years ago, but the studies were pretty low powered and didn't incentivize participants. So a behavioral economist redoes the experiments with more power (bigger sample), incentivized participants, and then claims that they discovered something new. In reality, they often just re-discovered something that was already known, but tested the idea within the economics paradigms of research. Yes, I'm being cynical, but that's been my experience by and large.
As for sterility, you can learn a lot from the lab, but generalizing to larger more representative populations, with more realistic stimuli is important to verity what is learned in a lab.
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Thank you for answering! If I may ask another question, what are some questions on the cutting edge of the psychology of decision making? What are big topics that haven't yet been answered? I don't know, but I hope what happens is we actually have some direction. Right now, everyone just studies whatever they want, regardless of importance or value. That's fun, for sure, but doesn't move a field forward. What we need is to come together and define the 10-20 BIG questions that need to be answered and then all agree to work on those questions. Other fields have done this (see Math: https://www.claymath.org/millennium-problems), so there's some hope for us too.
Hey Jeff! I've started learning and gaining more interest in how data is involved in making decisions and the benefits of continously learning organizations. Even today, I was watching a video by a CMU PhD candidate (Jabe Bloom). I don't have a Masters in anything yet, but I have wondered if I would enjoy going to grad school and learning more. Do you have an experience to share or advice about when going back would or wouldn't be a good idea? I think you would have interesting thoughts based on being a Professor and having researched Design Science. Thanks! Really hard question to answer and it depends on the type of graduate work you want to do. If you just love learning, getting a masters in something like psychology or decision science is a no brainer. Masters programs let you dig in to topics that you find interesting and might even use for your career. Go for it.
On the other hand, if you are thinking about a PhD, that's a different story. Being an academic has less do with learning, and more to do with creating knowledge. A lot of students who are straight-A students fail in a PhD because they can't make the leap from learning to creating. So if your passion is to create knowledge, a PhD is for you. If you just want to learn (nothing wrong with that!!!), a masters program makes sense.
Professer Galak, thank you for doing this. I don't know much about Marketing, so I got some perhaps basic questions that I have been curious about for you: As we are still in the middle of the pandamic, many of us are doing more (even more than before) online shopping. What do you think are some of the major consumer decision making difference when it comes to online shopping vs inperson shopping. Do you think different factors can affect consumer happiness for the same product purchased through different channel? Definitely not a basic question! There's a lot here, but I'll focus on one thing: transaction friction. With inperson shopping, to buy something, you have to actually get off your butt, go to a store, and find what you want. With online shopping, you can just click "buy now". That means you'll have way more impulse purchases and way more wasted spending. We already saw that before the pandemic as Amazon and the like took over retail. Now we'll see more of it. It doesn't help that pandemics bring anxiety and fear...two things that are known to increase desire to shop (think "retail therapy")
We all tend towards anthropocentrism and exceptionalism, and rationalise our own behaviour. In your experience, is human behaviour more complex or less complex than we often imagine? Is free will often an illusion and are we more predictable than we imagine? I remember watching a tongue-in-cheek BBC documentary from back in the day, where people suffering relationship difficulties were offered advice from a relationship therapist, who was actually a dog trainer. It was quite interesting how much a few biscuits and cups of tea seemingly improved troubled relationships, as they taught partners to use what amounted to classical conditioning instead of berating each other. Both. We are easily manipulated and influenced by our environment. Much more so than most people realize. On the other hand, humans have the capacity to really surprise even themselves. Just look at what humanity has accomplished despite all our shortcomings. It's kind of amazing when you really reflect on this.
I've been reading that decision-making depends critically on the emotional parts of the brain. For example, a truly Spock-like person would be indecisive to the point of paralysis. Unfortunately, emotion also pushes us toward confirmation bias and in-group vs out-group bias, which is not optimal. Are there tricks/brainhacks for preventing emotion-based bias? For example, in the case of a yes/no decision, could we flip a coin and inhabit the "yes" emotional world for a day, then switch to the "no" side and inhabit it for a day? After that, an emotion-based decision might be less biased? Great question with a lot to unpack. First, biases don't require emotionality. Most biases are purely cognitive in nature...meaning you they don't involve emotions at all. Things like confirmation bias, in-out group bias etc all don't involve emotions (they can certainly be emotional, but they don't need emotions to operate). So I think what you're thinking of is what is known as System 1 vs 2 processes. System 1 are the automatic behaviors that happen quickly and often result in biases. System 2 is the more deliberative way of thinking that can have other biases, but not the kind you're thinking of.
Now to emotions, yes, they matter a lot and emotional decision making is its own sub-field in psychology. Strong emotions CAN push people to act quickly (system 1), but that's not always the case.
So how do you prevent some of these errors in judgments? First, pre-defining how you plan to make a decision is important. Come up with rules that you plan to follow and stick to those. Don't let emotions or circumstances change that. Second, if you find yourself highly emotional for whatever reason, DON'T MAKE IMPORTANT DECISIONS! It's less about bias and more about tunnel vision...you just can't focus on all the things that matter. Finally, sometimes, emotions HELP decision making. Fight-or-flight responses are a real thing and they are typically triggered by extreme fear. You don't want a slow deliberation if someone is about to punch you. You need to react. Right away. So in those cases, emotions can actually be very beneficial.
Hey! Ive got a question! Why even though we all know that companies put price tags like 4.99€ on products to trick us in believing they are cheaper than they are, they keep on doing it. In fact lately ive noticed that they started putting 4.98€ instead, can you explain why do they keep doing what we already know why its done? Does it really trick us? In short, it works. People are what we call "cognitive misers". They are lazy (me too, by the way...all of us). Sure if you focus carefully you'll see that 4.99 is just 5, but most of the time we don't have the mental energy/capacity to do so. So we see 4.99 as 4. That might make the difference between you buying something and not...so firms keep doing it. 4.98, is the same basic idea, but it also helps with online searches. If you sort by lowest price, 4.98 will come before 4.99.
I work in the tourism marketing field - do you have any insights on how to convince people to visit other places in their own country rather than travelling abroad? Obviously COVID has made this aspect fairly important as most of us can’t travel internationally. Until people feel safe, they won't travel anywhere. Once some level of safety is reached, perhaps focusing on the fact that some local tourism doesn't require air travel, which may still be perceived as a risk. Once we have a vaccine and it is well distributed, you'll be back to the normal operations of tourism. Some will go domestic and some will go abroad. I suspect that in the initial recovery there will be much more int'l travel. People will want to get as far from the home they've been cooped up in as possible. Good luck!
Do you fit your theories into ACT-R? If so, how do you reconcile its decay model with real life? I am much more a social psychologist than a cognitive psychologists, so I honestly don't ever think about ACT-R or other cognitive models like it.
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I'll redo my original question then. How do you account for decision changes over time? E.g., A person doesn't buy a car initially, but buys it later after one week. I don't understand what you mean by "account"? My research is almost entirely experimental in nature, where I randomly assign participants to various conditions and observe the causal consequences of doing so. People can change their minds all they want, so long as they don't do so differently across conditions (which is where random assignment comes in).
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My question is what is you explanation (theoey/hypothesis) for why people change their minds? Sorry I wasn't being clear. Got it. Preferences are largely constructed based on context (see work by John Payne). That largely explains most changes of opinions/choices.
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Sounds magical. What contexts change decisions and how? This is getting confrontational, and I'm sorry if I contributed to that. Constructed preferences refers to the fact that decisions are highly influenced by contextual factors, most prominently other options. Things like the compromise effect, decoy effect, default effect, etc... all demonstrate that people's preferences can change very easily just by virtue of the environment that those decisions are made in. In other words, preferences are very malleable. For a great review of this, I suggest this: https://www.decisionresearch.org/publication/the-construction-of-preference/
Be safe.
if your so smart why didn't you buy tsla at $200 per share? Who said I was smart?
Is it really correct to have two ands in your title? Sadly, it is. "Marketing" is one area and "Social and Decision Science" is another area. So I'm both "Marketing" and "Social and Decision Science". It's ugly, I know.
Hi Jeff! Im curious about gift giving from a marketing perspective. Do people value physical gifts more than a “free webinar” or downloadable booklet? And do they only value those later free things if they consume them or if they just sign up for them? Gifts from firms are very different than gifts from people. For the latter, we understand that the motive is USUALLY to do something nice. For the former, we undrestand that the motive is get me to do something (e.g. buy a future webinar). That said, gifts from firms to increase participation, but I don't think they are any more effective than, say, a price discount or a "free intro" promotion.
How can I, a finance student, develop more of my marketer side? Thank you for the hard work professor The easy answer is take marketing courses. Short of that, consider a Coursera course like this one:https://www.coursera.org/learn/wharton-marketing?utm_source=gg&utm_medium=sem&utm_content=01-CourseraCatalog-DSA-US&campaignid=9918777773&adgroupid=102058276958&device=c&keyword=&matchtype=b&network=g&devicemodel=&adpostion=&creativeid=434544785640&hide_mobile_promo&gclid=CjwKCAjw4rf6BRAvEiwAn2Q76pMC6znD88ijC2vBI1HD2oRnG6s3TDglhhANO3QYuqiuUdjgW8r01RoCC_EQAvD_BwE
(I have no affiliation with Coursera or that course...just seems reasonable).
Can your studies be replicated? Have you tried? I sure hope so! I've replicated plenty myself and other labs have replicated lots of my work, but not all of it. Across all my published papers, there are more than 100 experiments. The reality is that some are just not interesting enough to others to bother replicating...that's just part of doing science...some of it is big and important and some proves not be...though it's often hard to tell in advance which projects will be impactful and which won't. For those that have been replicated, I believe all have confirmed my original work.
Besides online shopping, what other big shifts in consumer behavior are you seeing, or theorizing will change dramatically, through this pandemic? I think you'll see a split among people in terms of digital engagement. Some will just dig in all the way and live on Netflix. But some will go the other route and explore nature for the first time, or play more board games, or read more books.
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Thanks for the reply. What of deep-seated attitudes like those that seem to be present in those from the Great Depression, e.g. thriftiness? The Great Depression lasted for a decade and, as much as this pandemic sucks, it is nowhere near as devastating financially as the 1930s were. So no, I don't think you'll see that level of thriftiness. I'm hopeful that we'll have a vaccine in a year or so and in 2-3 years we'll have largely recovered financially. Maybe I'm being too optimistic, but that's all I have to keep me going :)
Are you a cat person or a dog person? Why? I have a cat, but I want a dog. my cat doesn't do anything and just takes up space. A dog would be fun to play with and bond with, but I have two young children, a career, and a pandemic to deal with. I just don't have capacity for a dog.
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I see. Thanks for answering. Can you give out your top 10 TO READ BEFORE YOU DIE books? It can be a mix of fiction, non fiction, self-help, depressing, life changing books. :D I appreciate the spirit of the question, but books are so individualized. What I find amazing won't be what others do. That said, just off the top of my head:
1. How to lie with statistics.
2. Ender's game
3. Predictably Irrational
4. Night
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Thank you for the answer again! Last but not the least. I'm failing community college. During the summer break, I got help with a therapist as well as my girlfriend supporting my focusing on mental health. Anyway, do you think it's still a wise decision to go to a UC when I transfer? Because right now, I could prolly go to SJSU after some time mending my failures but I want to achieve more. Do you think I can go to like say...UC B? If so, what is one advice you'll give to a student who's failing but wants to succeed? The process for getting a psych eval for adhd/clinical depression is in the works. I might get medicine after some months. i wish I could give you a direct answer, but I really can't. I strongly suggest speaking to an advisor or counselor at your CC or at SJSU to find out what your best course of action is.
As for advice, consider if higher education is the right path for you. It well might be! but for some, it's just not the way to go. People have amazing lives working in trades or working for themselves. If you love learning and want to use the knowledge you gain for a career, go for it. If you're just doing it because "that's what people do," maybe consider what other options you have.
Good luck with whatever you do!
Do you think of Big Data as a natural and/or renewable resource? Would you support regulating Big Data as a public utility or public good alongside ailand/water? Honestly, I have never considered big data as a resource that way. I'd love to learn more about that idea...is there something you can recommend as a resource/reading?
What kind of melon is your favorite? Watermelon, easily.
submitted by 500scnds to tabled [link] [comments]


2020.10.24 23:04 FCatDennys A weekend in the life of firearm retail! 10/24/2020

Hello friends! Welcome to the week in the life thread! These are the stories of the crap I've had to endure this year. Enjoy!
Thursday: I have everyone picking up guns from the gun show after their waiting period has elapsed. The big dealer paid me a fat stack of cash to transfer all the guns to people. Three fail the background check.
I scan the stack of guns that they have sent me, a total of 50 guns here. 10 PSA lowers, 20 hi points, 15 Taurus G2/G3's and a few guns I would actually buy for myself - Sig 320's, Glock 26/19/17/43s, that sort of thing.
If anyone wanted the play by play:
NOT A SINGLE PERSON BUYING A TAURUS G2 OR G3 FILLED OUT THE FORM CORRECTLY!
Folks buying Sigs and Glocks were very pleasant to deal with and super friendly.
Two non US citizens - passed no problem
Five denials
Three people without current ID. Two were super cool and came back with an updated ID. One guy tried to have a conversation with me that went like this.
FC: You still on Fox Drive?
1: Yeah
FC: Okay you need to update your license or bring me documentation you live on Fox Drive. Your ID has you on 95th Street.
1: What kind of documentation?
FC: Government docs, ID, anything like that, fishing license, hunting license....
1: I just moved here for work. Give me a break.
FC:: I am giving you a break, I'm not losing my license because you don't have current ID.
1: I got mail, can you take mail?
FC: I need GOVERNMENT DOCUMENTATION.
1: I made a mistake, let me do the form again I'll put my 95th street address on there.
FC: No. I asked you if you lived on Fox Drive, you said you lived on Fox.
1: I have two residences, I'm living at this one while I'm here for work.
FC: Okay, that's fine I just need you to document the new one.
1: Why you gotta give me such a hard time?
FC: Do you own the new place?
1: No I'm renting.
FC: Then I need current ID with the new address.
1: It is current! It's not expired!
FC: If it does not have your current address on it, I can't use it.
1: Man, I've been waiting three days to get this gun!
FC: And you'll wait as many more as it takes until you bring me current ID.
1: I've spent the past three days on my friends couch since the gun show waiting to pick this up!
FC: Let me get this straight. We went from I just moved here for work to I'm renting to I have two residences to you're on your friends couch. Which is it?
1: This is some bullshit!
FC: I'm not losing my license over this. Come back with current ID.
(Editors note: To his credit, he came back a week later with a current ID. Then promptly flunked the background check)
One lady just moved and purchased a fishing license from Walmart and came back.
Another guy went and updated his drivers license but the DL office PUT THE WRONG CITY on his ID since he lives on the edge of a city and they couldn't get it right. Eventually he got a new fishing licenses and picked up his stuff on the third trip. He lived 45 minutes away and was super frustrated at the paperwork nightmare.
The only thing worse than a know it all local cop is a know it all federal cop. I had an ICE agent come by to pick up his Taurus G3.
I hand him the clipboard.
ICE: I forgot my glasses
FC: You need to fill this out.
ICE: I forgot my glasses.
FC: Then take out your phone, magnify it and answer the questions and I'll run your stuff as soon as you are done.
He hands me the clipboard. County is blank. 10A is blank. 12D2 is blank. I hand him back the form for corrections. He marks 10A, he fills out county he marks NO on 12d2. I tell him to re-read 12d2.
ICE: I read it. That's my answer.
FC: No is your answer?
ICE: That's what I said isn't it?
FC: Form has to be done right for me to do your transaction. Re-read 12D2 and look at all the possible answers. Correct it and I'll get your stuff rolling.
ICE: Stop giving me a hard time. I'm not a child.
FC: I'm giving you a hard time?
ICE: You're giving me a hard time.
FC: Okay.
I remove the form from the clipboard, grab my red sharpie and on the top of it write NO SALE on the top. I pull out a fresh form and a pen and clip it to the clipboard.
FC: That's going in my no sale folder. Start over and do a new one.
ICE: Are you fucking with me?
FC: No. You told me to stop giving you a hard time. I wasn't giving you a hard time when I asked you to correct your form. Now I'm making you do a new form without corrections and you're not getting your gun until I get a 100% correct form. Now, I'm giving you a hard time. Sign on 14 date on 15.
ICE: This is fucking bullshit!
FC: This is the law. Deal with it.
Now he's pissed at his poor choice of career and taking it out on me. He screams and yells and the other people have taken note of his attitude problem.
By the way, if anyone wants to chime in with "Transfers are free money! They don't take any work! Dealers should do them all day long for $10" anytime, I'd love to know how much verbal abuse you'd take for $10 and 35 minutes of work. It's just not worth it. The only reason I did it was to pay it forward.
The day cannot close quick enough. I stop at the local italian joint on the way home, grab a calzone and head home for some much needed rest.
Friday: Show prep day!
I get my loadout worked out at home and I know what I'm bringing. I have three tables lined up for this new show IN THE MIDDLE OF FUCKING NOWHERE. 2 hours there from my house, 2 hours back and again the next day. Before hitting the road, I check my tire pressure and my spare is low. I put air in it and notice that my valve stem is leaking. I run over to Lenny and Sven and they get my spare on the rim clamp and put a new valve stem in for me on the house. It's good to be a regular customer. As I'm waiting I work on some emails! I know you've been missing these!
Emails
FC (outbound from Armslist): Hey, I saw you have a Glock 19 Gen 5. I'd like to pick it up, can we find some time to meet today before 8PM? Happy to give you asking price.
1: I don't sell guns to dealers.
FC: Any reason why not?
(No response)
Subject: $700 Glock 42
Message: Serious? 499 new in store! What’s your real price
FC: Who has them for that price? I just sold a bunch over the weekend at 700. As my stock depletes the price will be going up. Let me know who's got them and I'll send you a finders fee.
A place in Lafayette, I see the mainly go for 600, but good for you if you can sell at 7+. I am trying to find for a friend, and trying to understand what this thing should cost high and low. 499 is the lowest I’ve seen but it was sold when we went. Thank you
FC: So if it was 499 and sold, you want me to price match that? Sure. No problem. I'll do you one better, I'll match the price and the availability. $499 with zero to sell.
Subject: S&W M&P
Message: S&W M&P do you have stock?
FC: The rifles or the pistols?
The Smith and Weston M&P
Subject: Glock 26
Message: what's the best we can do on one?
FC: Picked up or shipped?
I'm three hours away would need to be shipped. I am old and disabled.
FC: Here's the deal with shipping all in you're looking at 700
Can we do any better than that?
FC: Drive over here with cash and you won't have to pay shipping. If you want me to ship I need to get their license.
(img of the local gun store business card)
FC: I need their license not a business card. I can take your credit card if you want but you're not going to get that $700 price.
Can you do paypal? 725.00 all with shipping? Im sure they fit in large prepaid usps priority boxes at 14 bucks each My number is in your text or caller ID
FC: PayPal? Lol. Why would I do that? That’s is a terrible idea.
Ok then what? I need to pay before you ship dont i?
(Sven and Lenny wave me over to the rim clamp)
My phone rings. It's glock guy. Send to VM. It rings again. Send to VM.
Lenny: This bead is being a real bitch to get back on, I lubed it twice couldn't get it.
Sven: This fucking shit we gonna need some starting fluid and I wanted to warn you beforehand
FC: Do what you got to do!
Phone rings again. I pick it up. It's glock guy.
FC: go for FC
1: Yeah I was talking to you about the glocks
(lenny and sven are banging away and setting fire to some starting fluid to seat the bead. They are successful. The shop air compressor kicks on)
FC: I'm having my tire fixed right now I can't hear you can you speak up?
1: About the glock
FC: Yeah what about it? I can barely hear you. I'm having a tire fixed and it's real loud in the garage, can you speak up or email me?
(1 hangs up on me)
Emaiil from 1:
Subject: Glock
Message: This is complicated and seems like a scam ffl people communicate direct. Real people speak on the phone. Goodbye. Were done
Sigh. This will be a long fucking week.
I get the show loadout packed up. Here's the rest of the friday.
Ordered in a Sig 229 Legion SAO for a customer. Asked the dealer that had it to DOUBLE CHECK to make sure it's a 229 Legion SAO. He says its absolutely a 229 Legion SAO. I have it overnighted. Fedex guaranteed overnight by 1030AM.
FedEx rolls in at 3PM. I call and ask them for a refund. Service guarantees have been suspended. I could have saved myself a bunch of money by getting standard overnight. Booooo fedex. Boooo.
I crack open the box.
https://imgur.com/h3gVh6e
CLETUS YOU SLACK JAWED YOKEL YOU HAD ONE JOB
Fuck. I call the customer and tell him the bad news. I call Cletus and tell him to take it back and he sends over a Fedex return label. God fucking damnit.
The USPS is refusing to deliver or return to sender a pistol that I dropped off and are demanding that I go over there and pick it up because it's illegal to send a handgun through the mail. They tell me if I don't comply they will call the postal inspector and have me arrested. I tell them go call them and have me arrested. This will be fun.
Saturday: 445AM. I drive to the new gun show. Never been there before. I am shoehorned between the dunkin donuts guy and the TRUMP TRAIN 2020 hat and shirt table. I get set up and start checking emails.
Subject: Looking for a SW gun. Thanks
Message: SMITH & WESSON Smith & Wesson S&W SHIELD M2.0 M&P 9MM EZ BLACKENED SS/BLK THUMB SAFETY PRODUCT CODE : 022188879209 $427.99 Mfg Item #: 12436
FC: When do you need it and where did you see this price?
Could be in a week or before I need the gun, additional magazine and a box of 9mm ammo Just let me know Thanks
FC: Can do it all but not at that price
(Name of gun store down the way I've never heard of. I google the address. It's a unit in a mini storage)
SMDH.
I sell two guns all day. One guy is ADAMANT that buying a silencer gives ATF the right to search your house at any given time. I pull out a wad of cash and make a wager with him and tell him if he's so right, the $3000 cash that I have here should make it pretty easy for him to find the law and regulation. He calls me a Richard Cranium.
Fucking hell. Two hour drive back home through the Bayou. Nothing but country roads taking me home today. I leave the show at 510PM and get home around 730 after tanking up at the flying J.
I crash on the couch. It can't be any worse tomorrow. Can it?
Sunday:
The show opens at 10. 2 hour ride down means I can leave at 8AM. I grab a sandwich and hit the highway and arrive at 955AM. I walk in, set my tables up and grab a donut from the dunkin donuts guy. Super cool fella. One of his employees bought a gun yesterday. I make a new friend, Phil the security guard. He was a former cop now working armed security and does towing and repo. I've been thinking about changing jobs and morphing into the worlds best repo operator hooking cars, making bank and giving zero fucks.
I sell nothing the rest of the day. I pack. I go home.
Monday:
The USPS has lost another pistol in transit and has no idea where it is. Customer is screaming mad at me for sending it USPS. What did you expect for $25? Jesus fuck.
I head down to the postmaster and talk and we're trying to see what's what. I am hoping that a wayward label just fell off or got torn off in processing and it's not a problem. First problem in a decade. Fucking hell.
Over lunch my Puerto Rican Fire Marshal buddy comes by and we hang out and chat for a bit. He talks government work, I talk dealing with shitheads. We're in the same business. I ask how his kid is doing and his girl and babydaddy are wreaking havoc at his house. LONG story short, it should have been a defensive gun use. I sold them the rifle and it's a good thing that they bought a gun BEFORE the whole world went stupid.
I get told the best fire department story. They ran a fire and they needed to get into the adjacent unit of a duplex to cut power. A lt and two firefighters are banging on the front door trying to get the occupants to open up so they can cut the power. They are greeted with 80 year old man BUCK FUCKING NAKED WITH BALLS HANGING 8 INCHES DOWN.
The crew goes in, turns off the power and the homeowner asks them to wait a minute. He turns at the end of the hall and is PEEING WITH THE DOOR OPEN. LT calls for the fire marshal on the radio. FM goes in.
FM: You called me in here just to watch an 80 year old man take a piss?
LT: No. That's just a bonus.
I tell him he needs to open a workers comp claim with the city. PTSD. He can't get the sight of old man balls out of his memory. He laughs.
(Editors note: See the end of this post for more details!)
I get a call from a lady. She wants 9mm bullets. I ask her bullets or ammo. She has no idea what the difference is. I sigh. Time to go home.
Tuesday is therapy day. I head into work early so I can leave work early to get therapy. From all the pain in the ass customers. I get a call from this lady that asked me to help her out on fixing some ATF NFA paperwork. She had the WORST FORMS EVER that needed to be fixed ASAP. It's a fucking disaster. Her situation is bad and she's yelling at me screaming that it's all my fault. It's not my fault and my therapist gets a earful from me about that.
(Editors note: See the end of this post for more details!)
Wednesday is hump day. Whatcha gonna do with all that junk. All that junk inside your trunk. I get a firearm trace FIRST THING IN THE MORNING. What firearm is it? A GLOCK .40. Why? BECAUSE IT'S ALWAYS A GLOCK .40. Bangers LOVE Glock .40's for banging around and street cred. Not 9mm. Not 45. FO-TAY. I get the email from a police department asking for the 4473 and the email signature is "Officer J. Smith, Career Police Officer" as if that's a job title now. For fucks sake.
I sell a gun and a guy cannot remember where he was born. He calls his mom to ask. I LOL.
Phone rings.
FC: Go for FC
1: I'm from Ohio can I buy an gun?
FC: As long as it's legal in Ohio. What city are you from?
1: Shaker Heights
FC: Come on down I'll have an answer for you in 15.
I call ATF and get some guidance and pull Shaker Heighs and Ohio laws. Guy comes in TOTALLY STOKED that I can sell him a gun because every other place in town refused him.
FC: What would you like?
1: I want an M4
FC: I'm out of Colts but I have Bushmaster XM15's and M&P 15's.
1: That's not what I want
FC: You want an M4 pattern rifle right?
1: Yeah
FC: That's the same thing.
1: Oh okay none of the stores in Cleveland have anything left.
FC: Well what do you want to stay in price wise?
1: Under $1000
FC: I have two M&P's under $1000 left. Here they are. If we start paperwork today you can pick up Monday.
1: Monday?
FC: Monday.
1: On a rifle?
FC On a rifle.
1: But it's not a handgun.
FC: Three day wait.
1: But our softball tournament is running and if we win we stay for another week but if we lose tonight it's back to Cleveland!
FC: Are you shitting me?
1: Thanks anyways!
FC: I need more therapy. I call my therapist and book Thursday.
I check my ammo delivery. It was delivered last week and I didn't sign for it. 6 phone calls to Fedex and Jane the new Fedex girl left it with a neighbor and didn't tell me. Fucking hell.
By 330 I've had enough and I call it a day. I decide to surprise Megan at home with some chocolate and her brother lets me in and we chat a bit. Wayne is a bit younger than me and also works a lot. Megan isn't at home so we chill for a bit. He's getting a jump start on dinner and is doing some prep work.
Since 'ol FC spent the formative years in the back of a restaurant kitchen and wants Megan to have an awesome dinner, I offer to help and throw on an apron. He's making homemade ravioli and needs help watching the sauce and getting some vegetables chopped. Two sets of hands make short order of dinner and meal prep for the week. Meatballs, roasted veg and lasagna are all in the oven.
Megan is still nowhere to be found. Wayne cracks open a bottle of wine and offers me a glass. He does not know I'm a recovering alcoholic and I tell him that my AA sponsor wouldn't like that very much. To break the awkwardness, we turn on Pandora and the dulcet tones of Harry Styles begin to permeate the air.
Sign of the Times is absolutely sublime, his range is exquisite and I can see how the ladies love to get down with his music. It's quite peaceful and well thought out. We chat about music and the arts and sports. I joke with him and tell him the closest thing I've gotten to sports is watching Moneyball. He'd never seen it.
I tell him WTF are you waiting for, you got netflix. The smart TV fires up Moneyball and we are greeted with Brad Pitt (he's so dreamy) and the story of the Oakland A's right at the turn of the millennium and their transformation from small market small budget ball club into a surprisingly competitive playoff contender.
We kick back and enjoy the movie for a while and I get hungry. Wayne tells me there's some popcorn in the kitchen, I throw it in the microwave and three minutes later we've got popcorn. I bring it back and on more than one occasion we both go to grab popcorn at the same time and inadvertently brush hands. Awkwardness but nothing too too bad. We watch the beginings of the Oakland 2002 season turn out spectacularly bad. Then out of left field....
Wayne: Megan tells me you used to be a firefighter.
FC: Yeah it's a long story.
Wayne: Meet anyone that liked the uniform?
FC: LOL. I was not drowning in pussy. I only met your sister after I left the department. Nobody liked me at all, I ha the worlds worst luck. I didn't think I looked that bad.
Wayne: Have a photo? Show me.
(I pull out my phone and load up facebook and pull up my in uniform looking like a badass pictures)
Wayne: Oh my god that's amazing, you look like a totally different person!
FC: The uniform changes some people but in my case it hid a lot of sins.
Wayne: You know, they say everyone loves a fireman....
And just as he said that, I hadn't noticed his arm had crept around my shoulder. He grabbed my neck and pulled me in for a kiss. It was different. Not bad, not great, just different.
On a seminal level, I can't say I was surprised. The most shocking thing about being kissed by a man was how much harder everything was. The firmness of the cheekbones, the lips, the forcefulness of the tongue, all entirely the same fundamentally but in a very subtle fashion different than when I was kissing someone like - his sister.
His tongue darted between my lips. I didn't know what to say, or do, I just sat there stunned. He saw the shock and amazement on my face. That's when he did it again, and I don't know why I didn't stop him. It just felt so good in the moment that I told myself - what's the harm?
I returned the favor and kissed him back, pushing him down on the couch and kissing his neck and nibbling his earlobe. The moans and heavy breathing were familiar, since his sister liked being kissed in the very same spots. I sat up for some air and he took his shirt off and pulled me in for another kiss.
"I want you" he said, as he undid his belt and pulled it off the loops of his pants, handing it to me.
"I've been bad, I deserve a spanking" he mumbled, holding the leather belt between his teeth.
Who am I to deny?
I took the belt, looped it around his neck and used it as a leash as I pulled down my pants and entered him from behind. He felt so tight as if he had not been used in months. As I railed him, the screen flickered back and forth between Jonah Hill and Brad Pitt.
Wayne screamed in pleasure just as I watched Billy Beane make a trade for Rincon on the screen. My rhythm increased as the trade for Rincon just increased my lust for power and desire. I slapped Waynes ass firmly as Billy Beane raised a clenched fist. As Jonah Hill locked up the deal with the owner, my face tightened into a smile like his as my orgasm began to build.
Just as Jonah Hill was closing in, so was I. My breathing intensified. My face clenched. I saw the open palm of the Peter Brand character clench as I felt my own orgasm break free.
And then, the garage door opener started. It was Megan. She just got home. We quickly put clothes back on and pretended like nothing happened in 15 seconds flat. Sitting back on the couch with Wayne running to the bathroom to clean all my jizz out of him, I welcomed her home and told her I helped cook her dinner. She smiled and gave me a kiss. We all sat down to a very awkward dinner.
Man.
What a week!
Reddit Reader Poll. What do you want to hear next?
A: NFA Form Fail
B: "It should have been a defensive gun use"
C: More stories of my developing bisexuality
Let me know in the comments!
submitted by FCatDennys to guns [link] [comments]


2020.10.24 19:37 mrsdovi Reddit Black Friday 2020

Reddit Black friday 2020 Best Black Friday Deals Reddit.
WOMEN'S EQUALITY ENTERTAINMENT CULTURE TECH SCIENCE SOCIAL GOOD AMPLIFY
Black Friday is going to be weird this year — and that’s a good thing https://techbylight.com/
Challenges always present an opportunity for innovation, and we’ve seen plenty of them since COVID-19 hit. And while Black Friday has certainly changed a lot over the years, it’s going to look extra different this November as we try to navigate a world where it’s not safe to crowd a bunch of people into an enclosed store.
Black Friday is officially on Nov. 27 (it's always the day after Thanksgiving), but there's still a lot that's up in the air. Namely? Whether or not people will even be allowed to shop in person. Merchants are slowly releasing their plans for 2020, and we'll be tracking the latest updates right here.
Black Friday 2020: Latest news and updates Walmart: Leading the way, Walmart was early to put out a statement about remaining closed on Thanksgiving this year. This is big because Walmart is basically synonymous with Thanksgiving evening shopping madness. Walmart hosted a Prime Day-esque shopping event called "Big Save" Oct. 11 through Oct. 15, which acted as a taste of what's to come for Black Friday. The retail giant also announced two Black Friday shopping days ahead of the actual holiday — with one on Nov. 4 and the other on Nov. 11 with another coming between those dates and actual Black Friday that hasn't been announced yet. These events will feature deals on all the stuff you want: 4K TVs, Instant Pot and other small kitchen appliances, toys, laptops, and more. Walmart will also focus on the stuff we've all been buying the most for the last seven months — like athleisure and loungewear, exercise equipment, WFH electronics, and all the other pandemic purchases we've been making.
Amazon: Amazon Prime Day took place Oct. 13 through Oct. 14 this year after months of delays because of the pandemic, and Prime Day deals are basically running right into Black Friday deals. Black Friday could even "start" Monday, Oct. 26 at Amazon, with early deals running through Nov. 19, according to reports from Tamebay, an Amazon seller news site. (Take that with a grain of salt though, as there's no official announcement from the retailer to back this up. At the very least, we do feel confident saying that Amazon will be running Black Friday-worthy deals well before Cyber Week begins.) Amazon will still honor actual Black Friday and Cyber Monday on their true dates of Nov. 27 and Nov. 30. These Black Friday deals are for all customers, not just Prime members. (Prime Day was for Prime members only.)
Target: Starting holiday deals in October has been a huge trend this year. Target also rode the coattails of Prime Day by hosting its own "Deals Day" Oct. 13 and 14, and the low prices seem like they'll be sticking around until Black Friday. Target's doors will be closed on Thanksgiving, but we suspect they'll be open Black Friday — for curbside pickup at the very least. The retailer has also made 20,000 more of its products available for pickup or delivery, giving customers more flexibility during the holiday season.
Best Buy: While Amazon had Prime Day on Oct. 13 and 14, Best Buy ran a two-day Black Friday shopping event. This was the first official "Black Friday" deals event announcement, as other retailers have been sharing deals under the guise of Prime Day and similar events. Best Buy also offered a flexible price match guarantee where if you bought something with a “Black Friday Price Guaranteed” label on Oct. 13 or 14 and the price drops lower before Nov. 28, you'll get refunded for the difference.
Home Depot: While some retailers have toyed with the idea of ditching Black Friday, Home Depot actually bit the bullet. Instead of a weekend-long shopping event, the retailer will host two whole months of holiday deals online and in stores starting in November. Home Depot also announced that no stores will be open on Thanksgiving.
Macy's: Macy's joined the pack of retailers that announced closures on Thanksgiving — this is even more noteworthy because this also means the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade is taking a hit this year. The event will be viewable via TV/streaming only and in-person attendance won't be permitted. As for the shopping, Macy's will be releasing its holiday sales information earlier than usual this year to allow customers to spread out their purchasing so it's not a mad dash on Black Friday. We already know that the retailer will be running Black Friday specials online, in stores, and on the Macy's app Nov. 24 through 28.
For a full list of stores closed on Thanksgiving, check out our partners at BestBlackFriday.com. We predict this list will continue to grow as we get closer to the holiday, so retailers can reduce lines and overcrowding in their stores as they try to comply with social distancing regulations.
The future of Black Friday — getting creative with technology https://techbylight.com/ While we're still learning about what Black Friday will look like in 2020, we have a slew of predictions for what this and future Black Fridays could look like.
Hunting for deals via AR? Personal shoppers? The triumphant return of QR codes? We've reviewed our notes from years past with an eye on the future to come up with this list of possibilities — let's see how many we get right.
Say goodbye to in-store shopping Black Friday is going to be weird this year — and that’s a good thing IMAGE: PEXELS Some stores (like Target, Kohl's, and Walmart) have already decided to keep their doors closed on Thanksgiving, so it’s hard to imagine in-store shopping as we know it getting the green light on Black Friday. Don’t bank on getting to go into brick and mortar stores and browse deals — we’re predicting they’ll all be closed and online shopping will reign supreme.
Curbside pickup is here to stay Black Friday is going to be weird this year — and that’s a good thing IMAGE: PEXELS One of the biggest shopping changes to come about during the COVID-19 pandemic is the surge of curbside pickup options. Black Friday will be no different. Gone are the days when having someone deliver a bag of goodies to your car was just reserved for your Friday night trips to Chili's. Taking advantage of curbside pickup will also let you get your loot the same day instead of having to wait for it to be shipped to your house.
Say hello to a possible lottery system Black Friday is going to be weird this year — and that’s a good thing IMAGE: PIXABAY Despite in-store restrictions, merchants may still try to find a work around. A lottery system could be put into place where you could win (or even purchase) a time slot to get to do your shopping without a crowd of other shoppers. It could be set up so that 10 or so people get to come inside to shop within a designated half hour or hour timeframe.
This would be a nice contrast to previous years where lines to get into the store would often wind around the building or down the block. You have your specific shopping time and you get right in.
Get ready to hit that refresh button Black Friday is going to be weird this year — and that’s a good thing IMAGE: PEXELS Because there will be such an influx of traffic for retailers’ online shops, you can fully expect to run into technical issues. Be prepared for sites to be slower or just crash altogether because of higher traffic.
We’ll also likely see challenges with items remaining in stock. This is something we already experience in normal years, but with an online-only Black Friday, you’ll have to do that fighting over the last item on the shelf virtually. It’ll be like you’re really at the store! But for real, plan ahead and make a list of the big ticket items you want and be quick to add them to your cart and check out to make sure they don’t go out of stock before you can buy them.
The deals may actually be better this year Black Friday is going to be weird this year — and that’s a good thing IMAGE: PEXELS The year 2020 sucks and we all know it. We anticipate that retailers will try to make up for it by running extra/better deals and "doorbusters," especially since we won’t get to shop in-store sales. As such, we’re not expecting to see any “in-store only” deals, which means all of those typical doorbusters will be available online to encourage people to shop safely from their homes.
An online Black Friday is sounding better and better — you get bonus deals and you don’t even have to leave your couch after your post-turkey day food coma.
Black Friday won’t be limited to just a weekend Black Friday is going to be weird this year — and that’s a good thing IMAGE: PEXELS Black Friday has already become a month-long event, so we’re expecting it to feel even longer this year. Get your wallet ready in October (Prime Day is also rumored to start this month) because there will most definitely be some early Black Friday deals. Online shopping has no physical limitations, so retailers will probably have a heyday with running deals.
Keep an eye out for QR codes Black Friday is going to be weird this year — and that’s a good thing IMAGE: PIXABAY As holiday season approaches, your mailbox starts getting flooded with ad scans for all the upcoming deals. The Black Fridays of the future will probably turn toward tech to make this a more immersive experience. We wouldn’t be surprised to see AR ad circulars where you can scan QR codes and see special deals and product information on your phone.
For example, say you are a dedicated magazine reader — you could see special QR codes within the pages that take you to the products advertised at a retailer like Amazon, Best Buy, or Walmart. We’re guessing that readers will have access to special Black Friday deals that they can scan from print publications (or social feeds) as the shopping holiday turns more virtual.
VR could be big Black Friday is going to be weird this year — and that’s a good thing IMAGE: PEXELS If you truly love shopping in stores on Black Friday, VR might be in your future. There are already some companies, like Youcan, that are creating virtual retail spaces that let you feel like you’re actually shopping at your favorite stores. This allows for gamification and the act of hunting for deals without having to leave your home — whether that’s to avoid a deadly virus or annoyingly large crowds of people.
Voice-activated shopping finally takes off Black Friday is going to be weird this year — and that’s a good thing IMAGE: AMAZON Alexa is our go-to pal when we have a question or want to know the weather, but the voice assistant might also become a key player in Black Friday shopping. There are already some shopping commands integrated into Alexa’s programming, so using your voice to shop Black Friday deals would come naturally. Plus, maybe we’ll see some exclusive Amazon deals for Alexa device users.
Turn to the ‘Gram Black Friday is going to be weird this year — and that’s a good thing IMAGE: INSTAGRAM / SCREENSHOT Instagram has entered the chat. If you’re an avid user of the platform, you’ve probably already bought something from a post or ad you’ve seen. Black Friday deals could litter your Explore page and the feeds of all the brands and influencers you follow. There could even be some exclusive deals you won’t see anywhere else. Being a loyal follower has its perks.
Welcome new technology Black Friday is going to be weird this year — and that’s a good thing IMAGE: AMAZON While we can’t say for certain all of the cool new ways we’ll be able to shop in the future, one innovation we’re interested in come Black Friday is the Amazon Dash Cart. The cart knows what you put in it and displays everything and your total on its screen, and you can even opt for cashier-less checkout, which is great for limiting contact during COVID-19 times.
This comes on the heels of other types of shopping changes, including personal shopping programs like Instacart. You could use a service to have someone do your Black Friday shopping for you and get your items delivered to you the same day.
Black Friday 2020 is going to be weird, but we are here for it. We’re expecting big things to come out of this from the tech sector, with some truly innovative changes to the shopping world. Whatever happens, we'll continue to scope out the best deals — so keep those credit cards warm.
TOPICS: BLACK FRIDAY, MASHABLE DEALS, E-COMMERCE, TECH RECOMMENDED FOR YOU Dell dropped its 2020 Black Friday ad and some deals are already live TECH Dell dropped its 2020 Black Friday ad and some deals are already live Shop these Prime Day deals while there's still time — sales end tonight TECH Shop these Prime Day deals while there's still time — sales end tonight
Apple's all-new iPad Air is already on sale on Amazon — save $40 TECH Apple's all-new iPad Air is already on sale on Amazon — save $40
Alert: The Amazon Echo Dot is $18.99 and comes with a free smart bulb TECH Alert: The Amazon Echo Dot is $18.99 and comes with a free smart bulb
We're seeing massive AirPods discounts thanks to Prime Day TECH We're seeing massive AirPods discounts thanks to Prime Day
All products featured here are independently selected by our editors and writers. If you buy something through links on our site, Mashable may earn an affiliate commission. Here's how to check if your mail-in ballot has been received and counted TECH Here's how to check if your mail-in ballot has been received and counted 7 DIY Halloween candy delivery systems for socially distant trick-or-treating CULTURE 7 DIY Halloween candy delivery systems for socially distant trick-or-treating Watch early testers try Tesla's Full Self-Driving mode for the first time TECH Watch early testers try Tesla's Full Self-Driving mode is a global, multi-platform media and entertainment company. Powered by its own proprietary technology, Mashable is the go-to source for tech, digital culture and entertainment content for its dedicated and influential audience around the globe. ©2020 Mashable, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Mashable, MashBash and Mashable House are among the federally registered trademarks of Ziff Davis, LLC and may not be used by third parties without explicit permission.
submitted by mrsdovi to BlackFridayReddit [link] [comments]


2020.10.24 17:52 Jesuslover34 Oh? You hate Scarlet? Name every war crime she has done.

ARTICLE 1. — The High Contracting Parties undertake to respect and to ensure respect for the present Convention in all circumstances.
ART. 2. — In addition to the provisions which shall be implemented in peacetime, the present Convention shall apply to all cases of declared war or of any other armed conflict which may arise between two or more of the High Contracting Parties, even if the state of war is not recognized by one of them. The Convention shall also apply to all cases of partial or total occupation of the territory of a High Contracting Party, even if the said occupation meets with no armed resistance. Although one of the Powers in conflict may not be a party to the present Convention, the Powers who are parties thereto shall remain bound by it in their mutual relations. They shall furthermore be bound by the Convention in relation to the said Power, if the latter accepts and applies the provisions thereof.
ART. 3. — In the case of armed conflict not of an international character occurring in the territory of one of the High Contracting Parties, each Party to the conflict shall be bound to apply, as a minimum, the following provisions: 1) Persons taking no active part in the hostilities, including members of armed forces who have laid down their arms and those placed hors de combat by sickness, wounds, detention, or any other cause, shall in all circumstances be treated humanely, without any adverse distinction founded on race, colour, religion or faith, sex, birth or wealth, or any other similar criteria. To this end, the following acts are and shall remain prohib- ited at any time and in any place whatsoever with respect to the above-mentioned persons: a) violence to life and person, in particular murder of all kinds, mutilation, cruel treatment and torture; b) taking of hostages; c) outrages upon personal dignity, in particular, humiliating and degrading treatment; d) the passing of sentences and the carrying out of executions without previous judgment pronounced by a regularly constituted court affording all the judicial guarantees which are recognized as indispensable by civilized peoples. 2) The wounded and sick shall be collected and cared for. An impartial humanitarian body, such as the International Committee of the Red Cross, may offer its services to the Parties to the conflict. The Parties to the conflict should further endeavour to bring into force, by means of special agreements, all or part of the other provisions of the present Convention. The application of the preceding provisions shall not affect the legal status of the Parties to the conflict.
ART. 4. — A. Prisoners of war, in the sense of the present Convention, are persons belonging to one of the following categories, who have fallen into the power of the enemy: 1) Members of the armed forces of a Party to the conflict as well as members of militias or volunteer corps forming part of such armed forces. 2) Members of other militias and members of other volunteer corps, including those of organized resistance movements, belonging to a Party to the conflict and operating in or outside their own territory, even if this territory is occupied, provided that such militias or volunteer corps, including such organized resistance movements, fulfil the following conditions: a) that of being commanded by a person responsible for his subordinates; b) that of having a fixed distinctive sign recognizable at a distance; c) that of carrying arms openly; d) that of conducting their operations in accordance with the laws and customs of war. 3) Members of regular armed forces who profess allegiance to a government or an authority not recognized by the Detaining Power. 4) Persons who accompany the armed forces without actually being members thereof, such as civilian members of military aircraft crews, war correspondents, supply contractors, members of labour units or of services responsible for the welfare of the armed forces, provided that they have received authorization from the armed forces which they accompany, who shall provide them for that purpose with an identity card similar to the annexed model. 5) Members of crews, including masters, pilots and apprentices of the merchant marine and the crews of civil aircraft of the Parties to the conflict, who do not benefit by more favourable treatment under any other provisions of international law. 6) Inhabitants of a non-occupied territory who, on the approach of the enemy, spontaneously take up arms to resist the invading forces, without having had time to form themselves into regular armed units, provided they carry arms openly and respect the laws and customs of war. B. The following shall likewise be treated as prisoners of war under the present Convention: 1) Persons belonging, or having belonged, to the armed forces of the occupied country, if the occupying Power considers it necessary by reason of such allegiance to intern them, even though it has originally liberated them while hostilities were going on outside the territory it occupies, in particular where such persons have made an unsuccessful attempt to rejoin the armed forces to which they belong and which are engaged in combat, or where they fail to comply with a summons made to them with a view to internment. 2) The persons belonging to one of the categories enumerated in the present Article, who have been received by neutral or non- belligerent Powers on their territory and whom these Powers are required to intern under international law, without prejudice to any more favourable treatment which these Powers may choose to give and with the exception of Articles 8, 10, 15, 30, fifth paragraph, 58-67, 92, 126 and, where diplomatic relations exist between the Parties to the conflict and the neutral or non-belligerent Power concerned, those Articles concerning the Protecting Power. Where such diplomatic relations exist, the Parties to a conflict on whom these persons depend shall be allowed to perform towards them the functions of a Protecting Power as provided in the present Convention, without prejudice to the functions which these Parties normally exercise in conformity with diplomatic and consular usage and treaties. C. This Article shall in no way affect the status of medical personnel and chaplains as provided for in Article 33 of the present Convention.
ART. 5. — The present Convention shall apply to the persons referred to in Article 4 from the time they fall into the power of the enemy and until their final release and repatriation. Should any doubt arise as to whether persons having committed a belligerent act and having fallen into the hands of the enemy belong to any of the categories enumerated in Article 4, such persons shall enjoy the protection of the present Convention until such time as their status has been determined by a competent tribunal.
ART. 6. — In addition to the agreements expressly provided for in Articles 10, 23, 28, 33, 60, 65, 66, 67, 72, 73, 75, 109, 110, 118, 119, 122 and 132, the High Contracting Parties may conclude other special agreements for all matters concerning which they may deem it suitable to make separate provision. No special agreement shall adversely affect the situation of prisoners of war, as defined by the present Convention, nor restrict the rights which it confers upon them. Prisoners of war shall continue to have the benefit of such agreements as long as the Convention is applicable to them, except where express provisions to the contrary are contained in the aforesaid or in subsequent agreements, or where more favourable measures have been taken with regard to them by one or other of the Parties to the conflict.
ART. 7. — Prisoners of war may in no circumstances renounce in part or in entirety the rights secured to them by the present Convention, and by the special agreements referred.
ART. 8. — The present Convention shall be applied with the co- operation and under the scrutiny of the Protecting Powers whose duty it is to safeguard the interests of the Parties to the conflict. For this purpose, the Protecting Powers may appoint, apart from their diplomatic or consular staff, delegates from amongst their own nationals or the nationals of other neutral Powers. The said delegates shall be subject to the approval of the Power with which they are to carry out their duties. The Parties to the conflict shall facilitate to the greatest extent possible the task of the representatives or delegates of the Protecting Powers. The representatives or delegates of the Protecting Powers shall not in any case exceed their mission under the present Convention. They shall, in particular, take account of the imperative necessities of security of the State wherein they carry out their duties.
ART. 9. — The provisions of the present Convention constitute no obstacle to the humanitarian activities which the International Committee of the Red Cross or any other impartial humanitarian organization may, subject to the consent of the Parties to the conflict concerned, undertake for the protection of prisoners of war and for their relief.
ART. 10. — The High Contracting Parties may at any time agree to entrust to an organization which offers all guarantees of impartiality and efficacy the duties incumbent on the Protecting Powers by virtue of the present Convention. When prisoners of war do not benefit or cease to benefit, no matter for what reason, by the activities of a Protecting Power or of an organization provided for in the first paragraph above, the Detaining Power shall request a neutral State, or such an organization, to undertake the functions performed under the present Convention by a Protecting Power designated by the Parties to a conflict. If protection cannot be arranged accordingly, the Detaining Power shall request or shall accept, subject to the provisions of this Article, the offer of the services of a humanitarian organization, such as the International Committee of the Red Cross, to assume the humanitarian functions performed by Protecting Powers under the present Convention. Any neutral Power or any organizatione invited by the Power concerned or offering itself for these purposes, shall be required to act with a sense of responsibility towards the Party to the conflict on which persons protected by the present Convention depend, and shall be required to furnish sufficient assurances that it is in a position to undertake the appropriate functions and to discharge them impartially. No derogation from the preceding provisions shall be made by special agreements between Powers one of which is restricted, even temporarily, in its freedom to negotiate with the other Power or its allies by reason of military events, more particularly where the whole, or a substantial part, of the territory of the said Power is occupied. Whenever in the present Convention mention is made of a Protecting Power, such mention applies to substitute organizations in the sense of the present Article.
ART. 11. — In cases where they deem it advisable in the interest of protected persons, particularly in cases of disagreement between the Parties to the conflict as to the application or interpretation of the provisions of the present Convention, the Protecting Powers shall lend their good offices with a view to settling the disagreement. For this purpose, each of the Protecting Powers may, either at the invitation of one Party or on its own initiative, propose to the Parties to the conflict a meeting of their representatives, and in particular of the authorities responsible for prisoners of war, possibly on neutral territory suitably chosen. The Parties to the conflict shall be bound to give effect to the proposals made to them for this purpose. The Protecting Powers may, if necessary, propose for approval by the Parties to the conflict a person belonging to a neutral Power, or delegated by the International Committee of the Red Cross, who shall be invited to take part in such a meeting.
ART. 12. — Prisoners of war are in the hands of the enemy Power, but not of the individuals or military units who have captured them. Irrespective of the individual responsibilities that may exist, the Detaining Power is responsible for the treatment given them. Prisoners of war may only be transferred by the Detaining Power to a Power which is a party to the Convention and after the Detaining Power has satisfied itself of the willingness and ability of such transferee Power to apply the Convention. When prisoners of war are transferred under such circumstances, responsibility for the application of the Convention rests on the Power accepting them while they are in its custody. Nevertheless if that Power fails to carry out the provisions of the Convention in any important respect, the Power by whom the prisoners of war were transferred shall, upon being notified by the Protecting Power, take effective measures to correct the situation or shall request the return of the prisoners of war. Such requests must be complied with.
ART. 13. — Prisoners of war must at all times be humanely treated. Any unlawful act or omission by the Detaining Power causing death or seriously endangering the health of a prisoner of war in its custody is prohibited, and will be regarded as a serious breach of the present Convention. In particular, no prisoner of war may be subjected to physical mutilation or to medical or scientific experiments of any kind which are not justified by the medical, dental or hospital treatment of the prisoner concerned and carried out in his interest. Likewise, prisoners of war must at all times be protected, particularly against acts of violence or intimidation and against insults and public curiosity. Measures of reprisal against prisoners of war are prohibited.
ART. 14. — Prisoners of war are entitled in all circumstances to respect for their persons and their honour. Women shall be treated with all the regard due to their sex and shall in all cases benefit by treatment as favourable as that granted to men. Prisoners of war shall retain the full civil capacity which they enjoyed at the time of their capture. The Detaining Power may not restrict the exercise, either within or without its own territory, of the rights such capacity confers except in so far as the captivity requires.
ART. 15. — The Power detaining prisoners of war shall be bound to provide free of charge for their maintenance and for the medical attention required by their state of health.
ART. 16. — Taking into consideration the provisions of the present Convention relating to rank and sex, and subject to any privileged treatment which may be accorded to them by reason of their state of health, age or professional qualifications, all prisoners of war shall be treated alike by the Detaining Power, without any adverse distinction based on race, nationality, religious belief or political opinions, or any other distinction founded on similar criteria.
ART. 17. — Every prisoner of war, when questioned on the subject, is bound to give only his surname, first names and rank, date of birth, and army, regimental, personal or serial number, or failing this, equivalent information. If he wilfully infringes this rule, he may render himself liable to a restriction of the privileges accorded to his rank or status. Each Party to a conflict is required to furnish the persons under its jurisdiction who are liable to become prisoners of war, with an identity card showing the owner’s surname, first names, rank, army, regimental, personal or serial number or equivalent information, and date of birth. The identity card may, furthermore, bear the signature or the finger-prints, or both, of the owner, and may bear, as well, any other information the Party to the conflict may wish to add concerning persons belonging to its armed forces. As far as possible the card shall measure 6.5 x 10 cm and shall be issued in duplicate. The identity card shall be shown by the prisoner of war upon demand, but may in no case be taken away from him. No physical or mental torture, nor any other form of coercion, may be inflicted on prisoners of war to secure from them information of any kind whatever. Prisoners of war who refuse to answer may not be threatened, insulted, or exposed to any unpleasant or disadvantageous treatment of any kind. Prisoners of war who, owing to their physical or mental condition, are unable to state their identity, shall be handed over to the medical service. The identity of such prisoners shall be established by all possible means, subject to the provisions of the preceding paragraph. The questioning of prisoners of war shall be carried out in a language which they understand.
ART. 18. — All effects and articles of personal use, except arms, horses, military equipment and military documents, shall remain in the possession of prisoners of war, likewise their metal helmets and gas masks and like articles issued for personal protection. Effects and articles used for their clothing or feeding shall likewise remain in their possession, even if such effects and articles belong to their regulation military equipment. At no time should prisoners of war be without identity documents. The Detaining Power shall supply such documents to prisoners of war who possess none. Badges of rank and nationality, decorations and articles having above all a personal or sentimental value may not be taken from prisoners of war. Sums of money carried by prisoners of war may not be taken away from them except by order of an officer, and after the amount and particulars of the owner have been recorded in a special register and an itemized receipt has been given, legibly inscribed with the name, rank and unit of the person issuing the said receipt. Sums in the currency of the Detaining Power, or which are changed into such currency at the prisoner’s request, shall be placed to the credit of the prisoner’s account as provided in Article 64. The Detaining Power may withdraw articles of value from prisoners of war only for reasons of security; when such articles are withdrawn, the procedure laid down for sums of money impounded shall apply. Such objects, likewise the sums taken away in any currency other than that of the Detaining Power and the conversion of which has not been asked for by the owners, shall be kept in the custody of the Detaining Power and shall be returned in their initial shape to prisoners of war at the end of their captivity.
ART. 19. — Prisoners of war shall be evacuated, as soon as possible after their capture, to camps situated in an area far enough from the combat zone for them to be out of danger. Only those prisoners of war who, owing to wounds or sickness, would run greater risks by being evacuated than by remaining where they are, may be temporarily kept back in a danger zone. Prisoners of war shall not be unnecessarily exposed to danger while awaiting evacuation from a fighting zone.
ART. 20. — The evacuation of prisoners of war shall always be effected humanely and in conditions similar to those for the forces of the Detaining Power in their changes of station. The Detaining Power shall supply prisoners of war who are being evacuated with sufficient food and potable water, and with the necessary clothing and medical attention. The Detaining Power shall take all suitable precautions to ensure their safety during evacuation, and shall establish as soon as possible a list of the prisoners of war who are evacuated. If prisoners of war must, during evacuation, pass through transit camps, their stay in such camps shall be as brief as possible.
ART. 21. — The Detaining Power may subject prisoners of war to internment. It may impose on them the obligation of not leaving, beyond certain limits, the camp where they are interned, or if the said camp is fenced in, of not going outside its perimeter. Subject to the provisions of the present Convention relative to penal and disciplinary sanctions, prisoners of war may not be held in close confinement except where necessary to safeguard their health and then only during the continuation of the circumstances which make such confinement necessary. Prisoners of war may be partially or wholly released on parole or promise, in so far as is allowed by the laws of the Power on which they depend. Such measures shall be taken particularly in cases where this may contribute to the improvement of their state of health. No prisoner of war shall be compelled to accept liberty on parole or promise. Upon the outbreak of hostilities, each Party to the conflict shall notify the adverse Party of the laws and regulations allowing or forbidding its own nationals to accept liberty on parole or promise. Prisoners of war who are paroled or who have given their promise in conformity with the laws and regulations so notified, are bound on their personal honour scrupulously to fulfil, both towards the Power on which they depend and towards the Power which has captured them, the engagements of their paroles or promises. In such cases, the Power on which they depend is bound neither to require nor to accept from them any service incompatible with the parole or promise given.
ART. 22. — Prisoners of war may be interned only in premises located on land and affording every guarantee of hygiene and healthfulness. Except in particular cases which are justified by the interest of the prisoners themselves, they shall not be interned in penitentiaries. Prisoners of war interned in unhealthy areas, or where the climate is injurious for them, shall be removed as soon as possible to a more favourable climate. The Detaining Power shall assemble prisoners of war in camps or camp compounds according to their nationality, language and customs, provided that such prisoners shall not be separated from prisoners of war belonging to the armed forces with which they were serving at the time of their capture, except with their consent.
ART. 23. — No prisoner of war may at any time be sent to, or detained in areas where he may be exposed to the fire of the combat zone, nor may his presence be used to render certain points or areas immune from military operations. Prisoners of war shall have shelters against air bombardment and other hazards of war, to the same extent as the local civilian population. With the exception of those engaged in the protection of their quarters against the aforesaid hazards, they may enter such shelters as soon as possible after the giving of the alarm. Any other protective measure taken in favour of the population shall also apply to them. Detaining Powers shall give the Powers concerned, through the intermediary of the Protecting Powers, all useful information regarding the geographical location of prisoner of war camps. Whenever military considerations permit, prisoner of war camps shall be indicated in the day-time by the letters PW or PG, placed so as to be clearly visible from the air. The Powers concerned may, however, agree upon any other system of marking. Only prisoner of war camps shall be marked as such.
ART. 24. — Transit or screening camps of a permanent kind shall be fitted out under conditions similar to those described in the present Section, and the prisoners therein shall have the same treatment as in other camps.
ART. 25. — Prisoners of war shall be quartered under conditions as favourable as those for the forces of the Detaining Power who are billeted in the same area. The said conditions shall make allowance for the habits and customs of the prisoners and shall in no case be prejudicial to their health. The foregoing provisions shall apply in particular to the dormitories of prisoners of war as regards both total surface and minimum cubic space, and the general installations, bedding and blankets. The premises provided for the use of prisoners of war individually or collectively, shall be entirely protected from dampness and adequately heated and lighted, in particular between dusk and lights out. All precautions must be taken against the danger of fire. In any camps in which women prisoners of war, as well as men, are accommodated, separate dormitories shall be provided for them.
ART. 26. — The basic daily food rations shall be sufficient in quantity, quality and variety to keep prisoners of war in good health and to prevent loss of weight or the development of nutritional deficiencies. Account shall also be taken of the habitual diet of the prisoners. The Detaining Power shall supply prisoners of war who work with such additional rations as are necessary for the labour on which they are employed. Sufficient drinking water shall be supplied to prisoners of war. The use of tobacco shall be permitted. Prisoners of war shall, as far as possible, be associated with the preparation of their meals; they may be employed for that purpose in the kitchens. Furthermore, they shall be given the means of preparing, themselves, the additional food in their possession. Adequate premises shall be provided for messing. Collective disciplinary measures affecting food are prohibited.
ART. 27. — Clothing, underwear and footwear shall be supplied to prisoners of war in sufficient quantities by the Detaining Power, which shall make allowance for the climate of the region where the prisoners are detained. Uniforms of enemy armed forces captured by the Detaining Power should, if suitable for the climate, be made available to clothe prisoners of war. The regular replacement and repair of the above articles shall be assured by the Detaining Power. In addition, prisoners of war who work shall receive appropriate clothing, wherever the nature of the work demands.
ART. 28. — Canteens shall be installed in all camps, where prisoners of war may procure foodstuffs, soap and tobacco and ordinary articles in daily use. The tariff shall never be in excess of local market prices. The profits made by camp canteens shall be used for the benefit of the prisoners; a special fund shall be created for this purpose. The prisoners’ representative shall have the right to collaborate in the management of the canteen and of this fund. When a camp is closed down, the credit balance of the special fund shall be handed to an international welfare organization, to be employed for the benefit of prisoners of war of the same nationality as those who have contributed to the fund. In case of a general repatriation, such profits shall be kept by the Detaining Power, subject to any agreement to the contrary between the Powers concerned. CHAPTER III Hygiene and Medical Attention
ART. 29. — The Detaining Power shall be bound to take all sanitary measures necessary to ensure the cleanliness and healthfulness of camps, and to prevent epidemics. Prisoners of war shall have for their use, day and night, conveniences which conform to the rules of hygiene and are maintained in a constant state of cleanliness. In any camps in which women prisoners of war are accommodated, separate conveniences shall be provided for them. Also, apart from the baths and showers with which the camps shall be furnished, prisoners of war shall be provided with sufficient water and soap for their personal toilet and for washing their personal laundry; the necessary installations, facilities and time shall be granted them for that purpose.
ART. 30. — Every camp shall have an adequate infirmary where prisoners of war may have the attention they require, as well as appropriate diet. Isolation wards shall, if necessary, be set aside for cases of contagious or mental disease. Prisoners of war suffering from serious disease, or whose condition necessitates special treatment, a surgical operation or hospital care, must be admitted to any military or civilian medical unit where such treatment can be given, even if their repatriation is contemplated in the near future. Special facilities shall be afforded for the care to be given to the disabled, in particular to the blind, and for their rehabilitation, pending repatriation. Prisoners of war shall have the attention, preferably, of medical personnel of the Power on which they depend and, if possible, of their nationality. Prisoners of war may not be prevented from presenting themselves to the medical authorities for examination. The detaining authorities shall, upon request, issue to every prisoner who has undergone treatment, an official certificate indicating the nature of his illness or injury, and the duration and kind of treatment received. A duplicate of this certificate shall be forwarded to the Central Prisoners of War Agency The costs of treatment, including those of any apparatus necessary for the maintenance of prisoners of war in good health, particularly dentures and other artificial appliances, and spectacles, shall be borne by the Detaining Power.
ART. 31. — Medical inspections of prisoners of war shall be held at least once a month. They shall include the checking and the recording of the weight of each prisoner of war. Their purpose shall be, in particular, to supervise the general state of health, nutrition and cleanliness of prisoners and to detect contagious diseases, especially tuberculosis, malaria and venereal disease. For this purpose the most efficient methods available shall be employed, e.g. periodic mass miniature radiography for the early detection of tuberculosis.
ART. 32. — Prisoners of war who, though not attached to the medical service of their armed forces, are physicians, surgeons, dentists, nurses or medical orderlies, may be required by the Detaining Power to exercise their medical functions in the interests of prisoners of war dependent on the same Power. In that case they shall continue to be prisoners of war, but shall receive the same treatment as corresponding medical personnel retained by the Detaining Power. They shall be exempted from any other work under Article 49.
ART. 33. — Members of the medical personnel and chaplains while retained by the Detaining Power with a view to assisting prisoners of war, shall not be considered as prisoners of war. They shall, however, receive as a minimum the benefits and protection of the present Convention, and shall also be granted all facilities necessary to provide for the medical care of, and religious ministration to prisoners of war. They shall continue to exercise their medical and spiritual functions for the benefit of prisoners of war, preferably those belonging to the armed forces upon which they depend, within the scope of the military laws and regulations of the Detaining Power and under the control of its competent services, in accordance with their professional etiquette. They shall also benefit by the following facilities in the exercise of their medical or spiritual functions: a) They shall be authorized to visit periodically prisoners of war situated in working detachments or in hospitals outside the camp. For this purpose, the Detaining Power shall place at their disposal the necessary means of transport. b) The senior medical officer in each camp shall be responsible to the camp military authorities for everything connected with the activities of retained medical personnel. For this purpose, Parties to the conflict shall agree at the outbreak of hostilities on the subject of the corresponding ranks of the medical personnel, including that of societies mentioned in Article 26 of the Geneva Convention for the Amelioration of the Condition of the Wounded and Sick in Armed Forces in the Field of August 12, 1949. This senior medical officer, as well as chaplains, shall have the right to deal with the competent authorities of the camp on all questions relating to their duties. Such authorities shall afford them all necessary facilities for correspondence relating to these questions. c) Although they shall be subject to the internal discipline of the camp in which they are retained, such personnel may not be compelled to carry out any work other than that concerned with their medical or religious duties. During hostilities, the Parties to the conflict shall agree concerning the possible relief of retained personnel and shall settle the procedure to be followed.
ART. 34. — Prisoners of war shall enjoy complete latitude in the exercise of their religious duties, including attendance at the service of their faith, on condition that they comply with the disciplinary routine prescribed by the military authorities. Adequate premises shall be provided where religious services may be held.
ART. 35. — Chaplains who fall into the hands of the enemy Power and who remain or are retained with a view to assisting prisoners of war, shall be allowed to minister to them and to exercise freely their ministry amongst prisoners of war of the same religion, in accordance with their religious conscience. They shall be allocated among the various camps and labour detachments containing prisoners of war belonging to the same forces, speaking the same language or practising the same religion. They shall enjoy the necessary facilities, including the means of transport provided for in Article 33, for visiting the prisoners of war outside their camp. They shall be free to correspond, subject to censorship, on matters concerning their religious duties with the ecclesiastical authorities in the country of detention and with international religious organizations. Letters and cards which they may send for this purpose shall be in addition to the quota provided for in Article 71.
ART. 36. — Prisoners of war who are ministers of religion, without having officiated as chaplains to their own forces, shall be at liberty, whatever their denomination, to minister freely to the members of their community. For this purpose, they shall receive the same treatment as the chaplains retained by the Detaining Power. They shall not be obliged to do any other work.
ART. 37. — When prisoners of war have not the assistance of a retained chaplain or of a prisoner of war minister of their faith, a minister belonging to the prisoners’ or a similar denomination, or in his absence a qualified layman, if such a course is feasible from a confessional point of view, shall be appointed, at the request of the prisoners concerned, to fill this office. This appointment, subject to the approval of the Detaining Power, shall take place with the agreement of the community of prisoners concerned and, wherever necessary, with the approval of the local religious authorities of the same faith. The person thus appointed shall comply with all regulations established by the Detaining Power in the interests of discipline and military security.
ART. 38. — While respecting the individual preferences of every prisoner, the Detaining Power shall encourage the practice of intellectual, educational, and recreational pursuits, sports and games amongst prisoners, and shall take the measures necessary to ensure the exercise thereof by providing them with adequate premises and necessary equipment. Prisoners shall have opportunities for taking physical exercise, including sports and games and for being out of doors. Sufficient open spaces shall be provided for this purpose in all camps. CHAPTER VI Discipline
ART. 39. — Every prisoner of war camp shall be put under the immediate authority of a responsible commissioned officer belonging to the regular armed forces of the Detaining Power. Such officer shall have in his possession a copy of the present Convention; he shall ensure that its provisions are known to the camp staff and the guard and shall be responsible, under the direction of his government, for its application. Prisoners of war, with the exception of officers, must salute and show to all officers of the Detaining Power the external marks of respect provided for by the regulations applying in their own forces. Officer prisoners of war are bound to salute only officers of a higher rank of the Detaining Power; they must, however, salute the camp commander regardless of his rank.
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2020.10.24 14:22 readingrachelx Housewife highlights/Daily shit talk - October 24th, 2020

NEW YORK
"The “Real Housewives of New York City” are back to work after they were forced to take a break from filming after someone on set tested positive for COVID.
We’re told filming was severely cut back after the scary result two weeks ago — but spies tell Page Six that Ramona Singer, Leah McSweeney, Sonja Morgan and new cast member Eboni K. Williams were all filming together Thursday at American Beech in Greenport, NY. We’re told the group was cordial and kidding around.
A different spy told us they were also shooting at nearby Croteaux Vineyards, where Singer and McSweeney were loudly fighting over — appropriately enough — McSweeney’s recent tweets in which she criticized Singer for being careless about COVID. (McSweeney had tweeted in June — fairly obviously about Singer, “I am so disgusted by some of my castmates and their families who spent the entire f - - king quarantine in Florida, living it up, showing everyone how they’re living it up.”)
We’re told the group were supposed to be filming out East in early October, but it got pushed back and has only just got underway. We’re told the delay has created problems because producers had been hoping to make it appear as if the Hamptons scenes happened during the summer, which is trickier now that they’re shooting well into October."
“The Real Housewives of New York” are COVID-19 free despite a crew member testing positive for the virus.
Multiple sources confirmed to Page Six on Friday that Luann de Lesseps, Ramona Singer, Leah McSweeney, Sonja Morgan and newbie Eboni K. Williams are all healthy despite a Daily Mail report that one of the women tested positive two weeks ago.
An insider noted that production was “limited” and “not completely shut down” after the staffer tested positive, but everyone’s safety remained a priority.
Another insider previously told us that the network is taking extensive precautions to keep everyone safe and even requires the women to be tested before filming any scenes.
The ladies were just together in the Hamptons, where we’re sure more drama ensued.
ORANGE COUNTY
"Following the news that she and her husband, Sean Burke, have decided to live in separate homes for the time being, Braunwyn Windham-Burke opened up about what inspired the couple's new living arrangement.
Braunwyn shared during her October 21 appearance on Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen that she had been doing a lot of reflecting on her life amid the coronavirus (COVID-19) pandemic. "Honestly, a lot of it happened during quarantine," Braunwyn explained in the above clip. "It had to do with Glennon [Doyle]'s book. When I say that Glennon's book changed my life, I don't mean it flippantly. I mean reading her book made me realize a lot of things about myself that I hadn't recognized before."
Though Doyle, who appeared as Braunwyn's fellow WWHL guest, is the author of multiple books, we imagine Braunwyn was referring to her latest, Untamed, which the OC Housewife has noted on social media she is a fan of.
Braunwyn went on to say on WWHL that she still loves Sean "dearly" and that they "get along great."
"We're getting along better than we ever had, but we are redefining our marriage right now," she said. "There's some things that I am going through that I'm giving myself the time and the space to acknowledge, and Sean's been very supportive in all of this."
"The Real Housewives of Orange County star, 42, shared a sweet snapshot of herself and her husband on Instagram on Monday, October 19. The pair, who tied the knot in 2000, were dressed to the nines and stared lovingly into each other’s eyes. Braunwyn captioned the photo with a simple red heart emoji.
Despite hundreds of celebratory comments, one negative remark stood out. “And he’s gay,” one Instagram user wrote. The Bravo star fired back with a coy response, replying, “No sweetie, that’s me. He’s straight.”
"Tamra Judge may not be featured on season 15 of The Real Housewives of Orange County, but she’s certainly still an important part of the story line.
During the Wednesday, October 21, episode of the Bravo series, Braunwyn Windham-Burke revealed Tamra, 53, spoke to her mother, Dr. Deb, on the phone. According to Braunwyn, 42, Dr. Deb told the CUT Fitness owner about her daughter’s substance abuse issues. As a result, Braunwyn felt like she had to share her battle with alcoholism on camera and she subsequently confided in Shannon Beador.
While Tamra wrote via Instagram that she hasn’t watched the episode, she heard she’s “getting blamed” for drama.
“The absolute truth is Dr. Deb sent me a DM (in Feb) on Instagram asking me how my ex husband was doing,” Tamra wrote, referring to her ex Simon Barney’s battle with cancer. “I told her that it’s hard but it’s brought our family back tighter. Then I asked how her and B were doing. She simply said better now that she isn’t drinking … that’s it!!!! First week of filming when Shannon and I were still kind [of] talking, Shannon called me and said she thinks B is pregnant and she’s gonna buy her a pregnancy test and give it to her on camera.”
During Wednesday’s episode, fans saw Shannon, 56, show up for a night out with Braunwyn, who shares seven kids with husband Sean Burke, with a pregnancy test.
“I told her don’t bother, I don’t think she’s pregnant, her mom told me that she isn’t drinking anymore,” Tamra continued. “Shannon then contacts production and makes this big deal out of it saying, ‘We are filming a reality show she needs to drink.’ … No Shannon, not everyone needs to drink!”
While Shannon has yet to publicly respond to Tamra’s claims, Braunwyn told Us Weekly earlier this month that Shannon is the only cast member that she’s currently on speaking terms with.
“Shannon did reach out to me [recently] and wrote something very, very sweet that I appreciated a lot because I did feel ostracized,” she told Us.
Braunwyn added that she misses having Tamra, who starred on RHOC from season 3 to 14, on the show.
“Tamra and I get along. We still talk, we went to lunch like a week ago. I miss Tamra. I think she’s a great Housewife,” Braunwyn explained. “I like having her in my life. She’s always been a good friend to me whenever I’ve needed her.”
Idiotsivan (aka Rick's ex wife, I assume commenting on her former stepdaughter's photo): "You may have a new stepmom but I'll forever tell people I had you as a teen. come back soon not_topanga (& will.i.stan)"
Kelly: "That's funny because not_topanga told me and Rick she hated you as a teenager tore your face our of every picture... too bad you didn't have your own."
DALLAS
"There's another little pumpkin joining Brandi Redmond's patch.
The Real Housewives of Dallas star seemingly announced she and husband Bryan Redmond are expecting baby No. 4 on Friday, Oct. 23. Brandi, 42, took to Instagram with a snapshot of three pumpkins painted with her kids' birth years, in addition to one more with "2021" across it.
"God works in mysterious ways and we are so thankful for his grace and glory," she shared. "You never know what his plan is but we know he's got us in the palm of his hand. We have much to be thankful for this holiday season and want to thank all of you for your prayers, love and out pouring support."
NEW JERSEY
"Maimonides Medical Center hosted its annual “Pink Runway” fashion show virtually on Oct. 21. It was privately filmed at New York City’s iconic 1 OAK dance club, then streamed onto the internet.
All proceeds from the event will benefit breast cancer awareness, treatment and research at the renowned Maimonides Breast Center – Brooklyn’s first free-standing, full-service, nationally-recognized breast care facility.
All of the models are patients of Maimonides Breast Center, walking the 2020 runway to tell women not to put their health on hold and that mammograms and check-ups can save lives.
The evening paid tribute to a distinguished slate of honorees including Dr. Donna-Marie Manasseh, director of Breast Surgery at Maimonides and recipient of the Pink Hope Award; Paul Walsh and the Walsh Family Charities, recipients of the Pink Warrior Award; and Dolores Catania, cast member of Bravo’s Real Housewives of New Jersey and this year’s recipient of the Pink Ambassador ofHope Award.
Special guest appearances included singer-songwriter Robin Thicke and actors Robert Davi and Chazz Palminteri."
POTOMAC
"Robyn Dixon discussed Michael’s antics during a recent interview with Heather McDonald for the Juicy Scoop With Heather McDonald podcast. "So. honestly, to me. that [talk of threesomes] felt like a deflection from the real topic. I didn’t see what one had to do with the other.”
“She’s saying they’ve had experiences together in the past. OK, but we’re not talking about the past? She was almost taking responsibility for his behavior and, you know, why.”
“Who knows if maybe she didn’t want to deal with it in front of cameras and she was doing her best to kind of make it go away. Or, you know, maybe she’s in denial or maybe she’s not ready to end her marriage. I don’t know.”
“I really don’t know the reasons for why she would kind of said what she said about their relationship. It just felt like an excuse for me. It was just making excuses for his behavior, which didn’t make it any better, in my opinion."
BEVERLY HILLS
"Delilah Belle Hamlin is considering making big moves. On October 23, The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills daughter revealed that she is open to relocating to be closer to her London-based boyfriend, Eyal Booker.
"We definitely talk about it but I'm happy with how we do it now where I'm in [Los Angeles] half the time and London half the time," Delilah wrote in response to an Instagram user who asked if she would make a permanent move to the U.K. "But with everything going on in the world right now we're talking about it."
"I'm not sure," she continued. "[L.A.] is my home but so is Eyal."
As she has been temporarily living with Eyal in London recently, Delilah has been sharing peeks into their daily life, which seems to include her love whipping up impressive meals. "Date night," Delilah captioned a photo of a mouthwatering dinner. "[Eyal] is the perfect housewife and I'm here for it."
In a separate Story, Delilah shared that the couple has been together for "a year and a half" and her family approves of her beau. She proudly declared, "They LOVE him."
Back in L.A., Delilah recently moved into a new home with her sister, Amelia Gray Hamlin. The abode, which Amelia previously described as the "perfect lil house," boasts a chic kitchen, dreamy bedrooms, and private outdoor space.
As RHOBH viewers will remember, Amelia previously lived in a one-bedroom Los Angeles apartment that came with a $5,700 per month price tag. On a Season 10 episode of the show, Lisa Rinna reflected on the stark difference between Amelia's apartment and her own first apartment, explaining, "I was lucky to have an apartment with hand-me-down furniture and a door that locked."
ATLANTA
submitted by readingrachelx to RHDiscussion [link] [comments]


2020.10.24 10:28 BlueDaisy62 Am I The Asshole Roommate? (My roommate from hell) (Grab some snackkies this is kinda long)

Back in July of 2019 I started a new job. I was in a long term 4 year relationship, and living with his mom (we had our own house but moved in with his mom to 1)save money to buy a house but 2) his dad and little sister needed a place to live so we let them have that place)
when I started this new job i met a group of people who basically helped me realize how toxic of a relationship I was in and the potential happiness I could have else wise. I also met another guy who, in all honesty, I fell in love with.
No I didn't cheat or anything, but I knew for a long time that I wasn't in love with the high-school sweetheart and that there were so many warning signs that I should have left sooner (he constantly screamed at me and made me feel worthless, I felt like I was there just for him to say he had a girlfriend and have sex, he gamed 24/7 and constantly chose his games over hanging out with me or even taking care of his health)
these friends (let's call them friend A and friend B) gave me what I needed most in that time: a place to stay if I broke up with him.
I took that opportunity and broke it off, staying at their place for a day and then deciding with them the next day that I would sublet from them, splitting ret and utilities 5 ways. (It was a three bedroom house, and it was friend As sister and her that lived there, but her mom eventually moved in and for some reason friend A and friend B decided even though they were not living there , they would continue to pay 2/5 of rent to try to help out their family.)
I had 4 dogs and 3 guinea pigs with my ex. I only took the two dogs that were technically mine.
Moving in i didn't have a bed or any furniture besides my desk pc and TV, they allowed me to use their bed. The people in the house didn't particularly like dogs either so they would be stuck in my room 24/7 unless I took them out for walks. ( the back yard was occupied by friend As dog and wasn't dog friendly so I couldn't put my pups out there) I work 12 hour night shifts 3-4 days a week.
Anyways, because it wasn't my bed and the housemates didn't like dogs, I ultimately had to crate my pups 24/7 except for 2 walks a day (one before I left for work one after I got home.) This was an extremely stressful situation for the dogs and ultimately they started having explosive and bloody diarrhea 2-3 times a day.
The only solution I could think of at the time was to keep them in the bathroom some days so that I didn't have to keep steam cleaning the carpet around the crate as well as easier clean up (the bathroom was tile) and not having to get even more shit on the carpet having to take them to the bathtub. (I have a bordercollie and a jack chi)
This living situation was pretty shit and was even worse for friend As mom who had to share a bathroom with me and would often express how upset she was about the dogs being in there. I made a decision in January 2020 to try to find better living arrangements, as nice as it was having lower rent costs.
Which brings me to the actual "Am I the shit roomate?" Story.
There was another coworker who I ultimately befriended. Looking back it was a fairly toxic friendship. I made a few bad jokes/said things that she took out of context and we joked about, but then she would introduce me to new coworkers like that: " oh hey! Have you met (me) yet? Yeah she called me a *****" it eventually got to the point where people i hadn't even met would say oh right! You're the one who said "xyz"
Anyhow, I had vented alot of my frustrations to her about my ex and current living situation. we became, in her mind, best friends; and in a way I just accepted that. Though I don't think I ever felt as strongly connected to her as she did to me. I was really more interested in being best friends with Friend A because they had helped me so much and I was so grateful, but I appreciated this coworker and trusted her (well just call her roomie for the sake of later)
Roomie was new here and moved from Guam to live with her sister about 2 years back. During DecembeJanuary she started fighting with said sister and was looking for a place to move to.
I originally denied the idea because I was content with living at Friend A and Friend Bs place, however when the dogs conditions started to degrade I knew I needed to find a new place asap, so I ultimately said sure, let's find a place together.
We found a nice 2 bed 2 bath apartment, 3rd floor. My only condition with living with her was that the dogs were allowed to be out and about and not locked in the cage. She agreed 100%. We moved in end of February 2020 signing a 14 month lease.
For the first few weeks I kept the dogs caged while I was at work because they were having issues pooping and peeing on the carpet. I invested in one of those porch potties so that they could just go out and do their business on the porch instead of having to hold it for 12 hours and three flights of stairs. (This would ultimately become a problem)
Move in costs were a bit higher than I had excepted and I hadn't exactly been planning on moving out so soon so I only had maybe 2 weeks worth of paychecks saved and my tax return. I used all of it on downpayment and first months rent and still ended up owing her around 600$ which she said was fine and to just pay her back when I could, but not to worry.
We moved in and the first... I'm going to say 2 weeks, were okay. We didn't have any furniture but I did have a lot of kitchen stuff from when I used to live with my ex, so we bought bean bags and used those for a bit. Eventually within those two weeks we went to the store together and found a papasan chair that we both liked, I ended up buying it. We also found a nice little TV stand, I also bought.
About a month in is when COVID 19 lock downs started to get really serious in our state. The guy that I had fallen in love with before when I was with my ex? Me and him started dating about a week after that break up (thats a whole other story tbh) so at this point we where together for about 4 months.
Originally he had been coming over in the first week or two and then leaving to go home, were he lived with his grandparents, after I fell asleep. He didn't have a key so roomie got mad when the door was left unlocked all night.
And here is our first issue.
Me, I thought okay well I guess let's get him a key? So I went and made a spare and was honestly kind of nervous because this would be a big step in our relationship, so I told roomie on the way to work that I had made a spare and was thinking about giving it to my bf.
She flipped out and said I had gone behind her back and that I should have talked to her about it, but ultimately that yeah it was fine to give him the key. I waited a week to give it to him after that.
About a week after that is when COVID really kicked in and to make a long story short, he asked if he could temporarily move in with me because his grandparents where high risk. I said of course, and we brought it up to roomie.
She was upset at first (honestly I don't remeber why) but said yeah it was fine and she thought it was really sweet that he was looking out for his grandparents.
Let me go back real quick and fill yall in on one or two other back storys that I promise will make sense and this whole thing will come full circle.
Roomie and the bf are no strangers. We are all coworkers, tho bf does work in a different department (he also gets payed more which will come into play later) and we all would go out drinking and partying together.
In January, we threw a group bday party because we had so many friends with January bdays including, me and the bf. To make a long story short, it was a weird time of our relationship. We were technically "open" and we got very drunk that night. Leading to a 5 way make out session between me, roomie, bf, friend A and friend B.
(We had also joked quite often with friend A and friend B about orgies etc) when the party started dying down (this was when I lived at friend As house and the party was held there) me and bf headed back to my room. We came back out and invited roomie in if she wanted (wink winks included) and instead got her and another guy.
To skip the details. Basically the guy was not welcome but we were too drunk to really say or realize how uncomfortable we were with the situation. And ultimately the next day after discussing it, both me, bf, and roomie were very uncomfortable with the whole situation and bf honestly felt as tho he'd been violated if not raped
This night would also prove to cause more than one issue. But basically you can see now that roomie, me and bf all knew eachother fairly well and it wasn't like I was just letting a random guy move in.
Back to the roomie situation. We agreed when he moved in that because he would be sharing a room with me he wouldn't pay rent and instead would buy all the groceries. (Which would usually be around 2-300$ a week in all honesty but would eventually calm down to about 300 every two weeks unless we ate something special)
We very soon found that me and roomie had very different living styles. I didn't mind if dishes were left for a day or two or if the house was a little messy as long as it got cleaned on the weekends.
She however likes things spotless and always clean. She did express this once or twice, saying hey just make sure ur cleaning it up within the day. So I said okay and did just that. Then it went on to hey can you make sure they are cleaned up right after you are done. So I said sure, and did that.
Then months pass and she kept getting more and more bitter toward us and more angry, stomping around the apartment and completely avoiding us. Within these months a few other things happened.
One, I got very drunk, black out drunk, with her and bf one night and accidently told bf roomie had been fucking someone (she had just told him she sucked him off so my drunk mind was like oh shes being open about it I can talk about her and her fuck buddy in front of him now) then later that same night, I called her boy toy and told him he should fuck her basically.
I was drunk out of my mind, and he realized that. However she appearently did not. I truly barely remember the actual events of that call.
What I do remeber is that i was so so happy with my bf and that I thought the boy toy could be that to her and just wanted her to feel the way I did. I thought she was holding herself back.
Obviously I went about it in the compete wrong way and in her words made her feel like a hoe and that she couldn't get someone without being whored out. I apologized profusely and constantly but I don't think she ever actually forgave me.
During the beginning weeks of us moving in she had also invited me out to drink and go bar hopping and the group of friends we had, invited me to a housewarming party, however I was so tired of drinking and partying and was dead broke and still owed her $600 and it was also around the time bf had gotten violated and was therefore distancing himself from the group, so i said no. i didnt want to go out.
She begged me and often asked why bf didn't want to hang out too and I eventually told her its because he's trying to distance and doesn't want to be around the group rn, and that I personally just didn't want to go out. I wanted to stay in with the dogs. She offered to buy me drinks etc and I just didn't want to. I was tired and just wanted to relax. (Again I promise this plays in)
Jumping back to living in the apt with roomie, when covid seemed to be letting up we decided to have a small get together to catch up and celebrate missed bdays. Immediately after inviting, Friend A (who I used to be closest with) just said No. It was really weird and kinda abrasive and my first clue that something was wrong.
So I said okay what if we do another date, most people agreed and we ended up having it the day before the original day.
For this party let me add that roomie didn't offer to help clean before or after, or even offer to buy any of the party supplies or food or even just 20$.
In fact she did the exact opposite and asked us to by specific stuff so she could try certain shots and if we could buy a beer pong table. We couldn't afford the beer pong but we did our best and got 2 cheap tables from ikea instead.
She would later confess that when we asked her if the original date of the party was a good date, that she lied and said yeah when she knew 100% that it wasn't and that they had already had another party planned. But that "we ended up having back to back partys and both were successful so it worked out" (we were not told or invited or even aware of the other party. And at that time we didn't even realize we were appearantly on bad terms with everyone?)
There was also the time where she came home high asf (which she did often tbh). Me and bf were sitting on the couch watching TV and she comes in and starts asking us questions.
Basically all I really remember from that is having this conversation: she was pissed off because I had told friend A and friend B what had happened the night of the January bdays, and that we had made her feel bad for telling her best friend (which btw, just happened to be bfs boss.)
(To this day she doesn't understand why telling bfs boss that her, me, bf, and another coworker directly in bfs area, that bf felt he'd gotten raped, was a BAD idea and something we didn't want)
but at the same time she kept saying she wasn't mad and actually glad she had someone to talk to about it all now an that she just didn't understand why she couldn't tell her BFF (bfs boss)
Then there was a singular moment where I said something like "well when we were friends" or something that implied we arnt friends with the coworker friend group anymore i guess, she said "Oooooohhh so your not friends with them anymore??"
And I was like no that's not what I said. I just mean we havnt hung out for a while or talked because of the whole covid thing. And she kinda just took that whole "oh you're not friends any more hmm?" And questioned more and then went back in her room leaving me heated asf.
Fast forward maybe 4 months or so, and finally we have the outburst.
She sends this extremely long text about how we need to keep the house cleaner and wipe everything down after cooking more and that she thinks bf should pay rent and be put on the lease.
That's shes been forced to keep stuff in her own closet because the pantry is too full and that we need to keep the fridge more organized so she can put stuff in there.
That she didn't feel comfortable being out in the common areas because it was practically our place and because we occasionally would walk around "half naked" and that she felt like she was walking on egg shells and had anxiety about being out in the common areas. (Ditto)
and that she wanted documentation stating that the porch stains were my fault and that she had nothing to do with them
(that relates back to the fact that I had invested in the porch potty, and while the dogs would poop on it, they often would pee on the door or barriers instead and since we lived on the 3rd floor when they peed on the barriers it once accidently got down to the neighbors porch which we immediately where like omg im so sorry and started just walking them more, but the stains from them peeing next to the door were there since I hadn't gotten around to cleaning it (it was like a 105 degree summer and honestly just didn't cross my mind all that often once we started walking them) )
Originally bf was just going to move out. I didn't want him on the lease especially if it were to extend our stay, but we understood from a legal stand point she was probably right.
I also didn't agree with him paying rent. Or at least not the full 3 way split. She has the master bedroom with a private bathroom, walk in closet and other storage/pantry closet.
We share the smaller bedroom with a extremely small closet and do have our own bathroom however its far from private.
Yes she claims that if she has guests over they would use her bathroom but at the same time even if the stuff we keep in the bathroom is private, its not the same.
For example the times shes caught us "half naked" around the house look like this: bf with a robe on or pants and no shirt, me with a big shirt on and underwear. Once maybe with a blanket or towel around myself trying to get to the bathroom to clean up after sex.
And honestly I didn't see the problem with it with her given our history and that she's pretty much seen us both naked multiple times.
When she sent that text, I told her give us a few days to figure out our options. (Because bf wanted to move out) and she got pissed saying that it was always on my schedual and things always revolve around when I want to do things. I just didn't want to make any rash decisions and was trying to stay calm.
I'd never realized how upset she was at us because everytime we'd ask her if she was okay or whats up she said "its good" or "its fine" in a sing-song voice. I knew there was tension and I knew she was upset but not about what.
She was also the one who decided to stop using the groceries bf bought, which was his "rent" we often bought in bulk, causing the fridge and pantry to be pretty full, and the fee times we bought her specific stuff we knew she liked she didn't eat them and went to waste.
We would ask her what she wanted from the grocery store and she's say nothing. The only time we ever got upset (but never told her tbh) was that we used to also cook for her aswell, which was fine. But we made a really expensive dinner for our 6 month anniversary and she ended up eating all of it without even asking.
She also told me she thought I was jealous of her and that I thought she wanted my bf because whenever she was in the kitchen alone with him, id be in there too.
Honestly I laughed and told her God no, I didn't even realize I was doing that and that it was probably because 1)me and bf had just had a huge fight and I was being clingy in general and 2) I had hella anxiety when she was in there because I knew we had just cooked and were in the middle of eating and hadn't cleaned them yet, and I didn't want to put that all on him or have her chew him out.
Anyhow, i finally responded to her long text and told her I agreed with pretty much everything, that we would do better to leave her space and clean up and that all we asked of her was that she didn't use metal on our pots and was careful not to put rustable things in the dishwasher since we'd been having that problem with things like the can opener, certain knifes and baking sheets.
Also that I would clean the porch but not write her a note since there is a 500$ non refundable pet deposited anyhow and when the time came I would take ownership, plus the dogs are in my name.
I did tell her that we would agree to do a 40 30 30 split on rent, even 3 way on utilities, as we thought that was fair since she had the master and we shared a room. She didn't like that at all and said we should pay more because we used the common areas more and she didn't feel comfortable using them.
She proposed a 40 40 20, then realized that was the same as 40 30 30 (which its not really, we arnt joint income) and instead said she'd only agree to a 35 35 30.
I hated it i didn't even agree with the 40 30 30, I wanted to do a 45 27.5 27.5 (because according to online rent calculators that was considered fair given the living situation). But bf said he'd rather just take the loss and have us pay the extra x amount if it'll get her to leave us alone. So we agreed to that.
Real quick let me explain the furniture and why she perhaps feels like it's mostly our apartment. In the beginning we were constantly talking about how we wanted to furnish and design ideas.
We knew it would take a while but it was fun to plan. When we moved in, like I said, I owed her $600. I would still ask her if she liked this or that and she started to say "what, did you win the lottery" or "are you planning on winning the lottery?" In a smart ass kinda hostile tone. And I was like no I'm just curious if you liked this style that way when we can or if we find something on sale we don't just buy stuff the other person hates.
She proceeded to constantly ask me if I had gotten the 3k that my ex owed me (honestly even b4 we moved in together she constantly asked me if I got it) and when the stimulus checks got release would ask me about that too. Then started demanding I pay her back as soon as it seemed like I was in any way financially stable. I wasn't.
I was trying to balance making sure I had enough for rent and food and dog bills as well as trying to save to furnish the house a little bit (it was obvious she wasn't going to), and considering she said to take as long as I needed to pay her back I thought she would appreciate the fact I wanted to buy furniture and make it nice.
I ended up over draftng my account to pay her back but she was pissed because I took put the 14 months of renters insurance (like 8 or 9$ a month each) so that we didn't have to deal with it later and she decided to be petty and tell me I owed her back taxes for the last 3 months rent because she payed it (it was like 40$).
I ultimately furnished all of the common areas, bought us a couch a coffee table a bookshelf a giant gate so the dogs no longer had access to the carpeted area, everything. And I never ever once told her she couldn't use it.
In fact I often encouraged it and she'd claim she just preferred being in her room.
In that text she had also mentioned that the dogs had the whole dining area to themselves so that also made her uncomfortable (she also mentioned in person that my little dog should be in his cage all day because he peed on her door) keep in mind that I have fairly well behaved dogs and I pay a $60 pet rent everyone for them.
They don't bark unless there is someone at the door or kids running and screaming right outside it. We even sent the border collie to a board and train program to polish up his obedience and is CGC certified.
They don't chew. The worst they've done is had accidents in the house because they were either sick or I slept in and forgot to take them out.
Pretty much after that things were okay. We weren't friends and we weren't talking to eachother but we were civil.
Btw huge side note, she had admitted to venting to all our mutual friends and that she basically told them we were shit. Those friends no longer talk to us and avoid us like the plague when they see us at work.
One has even gone as far to tell a new coworker that he hates me. (I over heard him say it). Basically, that whole friend group that saved me from a toxic relationship and here the greatest? Disappeared without even questioning it or telling us what we did to upset them.
Anyways. Like I said things were okay for a month or 2, minus the fact that she had "stolen" all my friends. But I figure fuck it, they obviously didn't care enough about me to even ask for the other side of the story. That doesn't mean it didn't hurt though.
There was some aggravating parts. Remarks on her side concerning my personal life that I thought where inappropriately given our current state of things.
In that time we only really had one issue with her, and it was that she had ordered food on a work day and the delivery service knocked, causing the dogs to bark and us to get up, get fully dressed, and then try to go back to bed with only 1-2 hours left before we actually had to be up.
we told her when we woke up, hey please if u order on a work night just make sure they don't knock or that you ask them not to knock.
She said she told them to leave it at the door. She didn't know why they knocked. I told her you had to put in the notes to not knock, to which she responded that she felt like she was being attacked and that she did. I told her not trying to lecture or attack. Just tired and wanted to make sure that you had, that we understand its out of her control after that.
She then went on to say that we made noise on the weekends and were super loud when we were happy/drunk/being goofy, and i basically told her that she can make all the noise she wants on the weekends because we can sleep in, and that if she had an issue with how loud we are ever, to tell us.
She continued to say that she felt like things were delicate and that we were all trying too hard to act a way that used to come so naturally between us.
I told her I wasn't acting and I was just being me. That if my ignoring her at work and not asking her about her day bugged her im sorry but I'm not going to make small talk and that I didn't see the point in trying to small talk with someone who has clearly shown they no longer want to be friends. That she should just be herself and don't pretend or force something if it makes her uncomfortable, otherwise things will always be delicate..
She then switched her whole attitude saying that "i thought YOU said we weren't friends anymore" and that she was just being courteous and she's never been fake. And that since we arnt friends any more she has infinitely more patience for friends and therefore for none with us.
Which brings us to yesterday.
Yesterday was her last day of the current position she was in and was taking off x amount of time till she started her new position.
It also just happened that I had bought a Furbo the day before to help aid with my dogs training and to keep an eye on them while I was at work. It came and I told roomie about it and she said it was really cool and seemed really excited and interested about it. I then set it up.
The next day when we went to work, she stayed home because she would be starting a new position soon. She ended up texting that she didn't feel comfortable with it and because of body issues she would be turning it towards the wall and that me setting up the camera felt like when I had given bf the key without consulting her.
To which I reminded her that I had told her, I had only made it without telling her; that I would have made the key anyways in case one of us lost ours.
Likewise i told her I didn't feel the need to inform her about buying the Furbo because I would have bought it whether or not she agreed to put it up (it was on sale) further I told her I didn't install it till she gave me the okay at which point she said she never agreed, just said It was cool.
(She said it was awesome and "pretty dope" and had like 2 questions about it (the scope as well as how long it has been up, which like I told her it wasn't up until she said it was awesome) )
I stupidly decided to argue and get upset. She definitely caught me at a bad time. But basically I told her I understand why she wants to turn in away but that I was upset she said it was okay to put up and then the next day she wasn't okay with it. And that though I don't think she would but I couldn't help but have mama bear instincts kick in and think what if she wants to turn the camera away because she's hurting the dogs.
She's definitely expressed enough disdain for them and hates me and is mad at me enough.
She took that comment and ran with it. Saying she'd move out and that we made her feel like an ogre constantly and that she can never do anything right, that now she knows how I really see her. I told her to look at if from my perspective.
That she turned all my friends against me and was constantly complaining about things in the house and really that the biggest problem has come from her not saying her feelings and complaints for 4 months and holding it all in.
That I constantly felt anxiety talking to her and am constantly worried " great whats roomie upset about now"
That the one time we actually called her put for doing something we don't like (the door knocking while we where sleeping for work) she didn't just say sorry, i did put don't knock, but instead played the victim and said we were attacking and lecturing her..
She completely disagreed that she turned everyone against us and we had a whole argument about that. Ultimately she said she would stay quiet and stop bugging and that she wouldn't cause any more stress till April that we could keep the camera up and that she'd stay out of my way as much as possible.
That "people change..."
I ended it with no, I don't think we changed i think we just finally saw eachother for their flaws. I took the camera down as soon as I got home from work that night
Then this morning I woke up to
"Just noticed u wrote this but you're right after comparing my situation with those of Friend As mom, ur ex, his mother, and everyone else, I finally see u for who u truly are. U may not have changed but I have. Situations like this are supposed to do that in my opinion, force one to reflect, adapt, and grow."
I havnt responded.
In my opinion she has no right to compare herself. My ex and his mom were obviously pissed when I moved out because I dumped her son.
I had no issues living with them otherwise. Friend As mom, I understand her being upset because she didn't like dogs and my dogs made a mess because they were stressed, I did my best and it wasn't enough. I don't know what else I could have done and thats why i moved out asap.
She has been the absolute worst room mate and friend and I feel this could have all been solved if she just communicated better.
She's 31 years old. I'm 22.
Youd think at some point you learn to be the bigger person and grow up, like we have honestly so many times just to get her to shut up. I've asked her what I can do to make her more comfortable and she doesn't answer.
Truthfully I've given in to every request shes had, and I don't understand what I personally did to make her feel so much anxiety around me. It's her own fault for holding it in instead of just saying it.
There are countless things I did to try to make her happy and things she did that made me mad and that I just never said anything about (eating certain meals that were clearly ours, never taking out the trash and letting it overflow, only cleaning when she was pissed off at us after we had already cleaned, using the dishwasher as a drying rack
(we specifically bought her a dryer rack so she would stop doing this and she still does it. Whats even more infuriating is that she will open a clean dishwasher, not unload it, and then put her dishes in there to dry. Overlapping so it won't even dry well)
putting a lock on her door and locking it every time she leaves (honestly thats only infuriating because she did it before we even had huge fights and just shows how much she really trusted us) and honestly the list goes on.
The few times the dogs had accidents in the house, she would get home before us and send us a picture and I would just text back thanks well see it when we get there and clean it up. I could go on and on. And we never call her out on any of this because if we donwe are attacking her.)
I truely feel I'm being fairly nice and trying to see it from her perspective as much as possible. I realize I havnt been great but I just... aghh
Am I the asshole??? D:
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